When Life is Overwhelming, What Gives?

I ran into a wall the other day.  And it ripped the air from my lungs and nearly broke my nose.

It is a wonder I could stand afterwards. I have been walking on new-colt-ish legs since then.  But, I suppose that is normal, right?  When you come face to face with something painful….when you fall down… it is hard to get back up.  Tell me you know what I mean, yes?

My wall wasn’t a real one. Well, allow me to correct myself.  It was real… it just wasn’t constructed with brick or stone. It was an emotional one and every bit as powerful.  I was asked to answer this question, “When life is overwhelming, what gives?”

I opened my mouth to give a perfectly stupid lie of an answer.  And I couldn’t do it.

It is sad to admit, but I couldn’t even pretend to play it off.  As cliche as it may be… the only thing that gives in times of chaos?  ME.

So, if the first step to righting this problem is recognizing it, I’m moving in the correct direction. But now what?  I need to actually do.  And when I’m not in the middle of the chaos, it sounds so easy.

Put yourself first.  Prioritize exercise.  Snack on fruit.  Get to bed early.

And then I scream and yell and run smack back in to that wall again. Someone, somewhere has a handle on this.

It isn’t balance. It is a juggle, I know that.  I need to stop talking and start doing.  Right. But right now, I’m dropping a whole lot of balls.

Being a work-in-progress is a pain in my ass. Some days I struggle simply not to give up. I sit in my office, my to-do list getting longer, the air in my lungs evaporating and I wonder if I will ever be able to take a deep breath again.

Right now is one of those times. The recesses of my mind tell me to be patient, remind me to breathe slowly, ‘this too shall pass’…. but how do I keep it from happening again?  And again?  And again?

This…. this is the answer I seek.

  • http://twitter.com/AndreaUpdyke Andrea(LilKidThings)

    Oh friend. Thank you for writing this. You are one of those people I see who seems to have found that elusive balance/juggling thing. But I don’t know that anyone really finds it. Life ebbs and flows through these crazy seasons and sometimes we get a little water in our lungs. Was chatting with my mama yesterday and asked her if I will ever wake up in the morning not feeling guilty about something. She said, probably not. Somehow that was a comforting reminder that I need to give myself grace. Right there with you.

  • Danielle Smith

    Thank you so much for this. SO MUCH. Sometimes this is just what we need, right? The PERMISSION. I’m up. And I’m down. I’m struggling. I’m happy. I’m lost. Somehow it all gets done. (except the ‘me’ part) Someday, I’ll figure that out. I hope :) xoxo

  • http://www.facebook.com/jolynne.shane Jo-Lynne Shane

    I can so totally relate. ((hug))

  • Danielle Smith

    Thank you, my friend. xoxo

  • http://www.kimfosterwrites.com/ Kim Foster

    I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from, Danielle. I have so been there. And the best advice I can give is: baby steps. When you’re feeling like you’re neglecting everything about your health because you’re so crazy busy, to even think about taking care of your health feels completely overwhelming. Which means you don’t change anything, you just keep going, and nothing gets better. So…instead of trying to completely overhaul your health/lifestyle, just focus on one little thing (do 5 minutes of yoga a day. Or have ONE green leafy veggie a day…something little like that). Don’t sweat it about changing anything else, and do that for a month. Next month, add another little thing. It’s a long-term project, after all, right? Good luck and take care!

  • Danielle Smith

    Kim – THANK YOU for this. You reaffirmed the baby steps I have been trying to take in the past few days (well, in fact, what I was trying and failing to do for months – but am now trying again :) I’m grateful to you for taking the time. I have found that forgiving myself for NOT being able to accomplish it ALL (exercise, the full to-do list, be a stellar mom and smile through it all) is helping a bit. I appreciate you.

  • duong sheahan

    I think we as women, moms have all been there or there now experiencing exactly what you are. Like a Bank Account..we can’t withdraw on what we haven’t deposited. That’s why it’s so important to recognize as you are, where you’re at and start filling up that bank account because there will be a moment again in this crazy life journey where you will be needing to make withdraws. You can only go in the negative for so long before that account shuts down. We are in so many ways operating in this way in life and do not consider living in the negative and it’s hurting every area of our life. It’s hard to find that balance and do the juggle but our health and well-being is so important. Those around you will suffer when you are not healthy in spirit, soul or body. YOU Matter to your family and those around you. Good news, you acknowledge where you are at. That’s the first step to change…and YOU have he power to CHOOSE. I love your posts & I know you will replenish as you seek what is best for YOU. :)

  • http://www.5minutesformom.com/ Susan (5 Minutes For Mom)

    I can completely relate!!! I think it’s likely the most common problem for moms.

  • http://twitter.com/HopePerlman Hope Perlman

    My most recent FB & Twitter posts were basically “aacckkk! how do you all do everything!” and everyone who responded said, “I don’t. I can’t.” So – very relatable post. Wish I had a foolproof tip, but all I can say is, try to do something healthy first, like yoga for a few minutes, or meditation, or take a short walk or run, even if it’s not the full workout you’d like to do. I am going to try to take that advice today.

  • Caroline Fernandez

    I totally hit a wall recently (thus I totally “get” this post). I decided to make life changes and just give myself a break. And it is helping the wall bouncing.