I Believe Sometimes You Need To Tell Your Kids What They Want To Hear

He is only 6.  He wants so badly to grow up.  And he desperately wants to stay my sweet little buddy.

That little blond  face tilted, looked at me imploringly this weekend and said, “Mommy, can I ask you a question?  Can I live with you forever?”  I started to give him the logical answer…. that he, quite obviously, isn’t going to WANT to live with me forever.  But he looked at me like I had lost my mind.

And, at the moment, I realized that maybe I had.

Because the answer is yes.  Yes, of course I want him to live with me forever.

Look at that face!

The next morning after breakfast, he hopped down from his stool, wrapped his arms around my thighs and turned his face up to me, “Mommy…. do you remember what I asked you last night?”

This time, I knew the answer.

“Yes, Buddy, I do. And yes, you can still live with me forever.”

His giggle and smile told me I was right.

This is what I believe about parenting: Sometimes, You need to tell them what they want to hear.

What do you believe about parenting?

 

I Believe: Parents Must Encourage Individuality

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The older my sweet girl gets, the more I’m recognizing her need for independence, her need to be lauded for her her humor, her individuality.  I can’t put her in a box and assume her personality traits of last year, last month or even last week still hold true. 

She is changing.  She is evolving.  She knocks me over in surprise each day with her cataclysmic emotions.  Joy one moment, tragedy the next – both equally as real in her mind.  

Though she *has* been a realitively shy child, it doesnt mean she always will embrace a timid nature.  And that means I, as her mother, cannot react in shock when she does speak up, make eye contact or make the first move with a new friend.  I must smile inwardly and tell her privately that night that I’m proud of how strong she has become.

This small girl has always been an athlete.  Her fashion sense has best been described as fun and quirky.  She’d rather wear soccer shorts and mismatched socks than a skirt any day.  And clothes that match?  Never a concern.

Until today.  Today I was suddenly faced with a little girl who was desperate to find something ‘that matched’.  And why? Her words: ‘so no one will make fun of me’.  I will confess, I was dumbfounded.  In the past, I’ve had to fight her to match and suddenly, her sweet voice was laced with tears as she waded through her closet, rejecting everything I suggested.

She’s growing up.  And her sense of individuality is purely her own.  What ‘matches’ to her is specific.  Her fears of not fitting in are real.

I believe I need to respect it all, encourage her to be comfortable in her own skin and help her to embrace her own growing individuality.  

This parenting business is not for the weak.

How do you do it?

I Believe Parenting Is A Process

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Now, to you, this picture may not seem remarkable.  And in many ways, it isn’t. My small dude has a little bit of bed head, he’s smiling as usual, and yes, you can see the remnants of last night’s eye-black still darkening his face.  Feel free to judge me for letting him tumble in to bed at 10pm post-game without a shower.

But here IS what I love about this picture and why it represents a bit of a triumph for me – albeit a small one.

This picture reminds me that parenting is a process.  While I can’t say I ever believed I would seamlessly feed my children, that they would automatically sleep through the night or that brother and sister would never fight, I can also assure you, I had no idea potty training would rank among the top ten worst experiences of my life, that I now find it odd to NOT be kicked awake in the morning and that getting my children to try a new food feels like a small miracle.

And that miracle?  Well – you ‘re witnessing it.  Also?  The ‘trying something new’ was met with enjoyment.  Cooper – my breakfast-cereal-pancakes-doughnut kid (with fruit, of course) agreed to try eggs. And gosh-darn-it-he-LIKED-them!

I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to appear…. laughing that I had been punk’d. Not that I would find that humorous.  To be clear, I’d probably take him out, but still, I was waiting.

And he didn’t come.  And Coop kept eating. And smiling.

And my parenting felt infinitesimally easier.  For about 10 minutes.  But I’ll take it.

I DO believe parenting is a process. 

Today, eggs.  The day before, brie.  Tomorrow…..?

What should I try next.