Make a Difference Monday

January 25, 2010 By 6 Comments

I never said that ‘doing the right thing’ or ‘being a good example’ is easy.

In fact, though this may seem like a silly example, I sometimes find it to be a challenge.

Holding a door open for someone?  Easy Peasy.  Donating money to Haiti?  Didn’t even think twice.  Talking to my kids about sharing?  Essential.

But fighting jealousy?  Painful.

You may or may not know that my husband just spent the past week in St. John.  He was with his mom – it was an award trip for her work.  You also may or may not know that the ocean is an essential part of my soul (I was raised in California, but of course, now live in St. Louis) especially at this time of year.  So, I wanted to go.

To be fair, Jeff’s mom was kind enough to take me with her a couple of year’s ago – so this trip, was, in fact, Jeff’s turn.  But that did not change the fact that his going caused a nearly physical pain.

I was so bloody jealous.  I found myself picking fights with him before he left.  I couldn’t stop picturing the water, feeling the sun on my face, smelling the salt in the air. In case you are wondering, this type of behavior DOES NOT make a positive difference for my children.

So, in the middle of the night, as he was getting out of bed to leave on the trip, I made a decision. I would grow up. I would, painful or not, be happy for him.  He deserves good and beautiful things.  He needs some peace and quiet in his life.

So, every time he called, I was happy.  I didn’t complain.  I avoided any type of guilt trip.

The more I focused on being happy for him, the more I found that I was, in fact, happy for him.

And it paid off.  My kids never experienced the nastiness that jealousy can inflict.

And better yet, Jeff came home last night….and thanked me for being so happy when we talked.  It alleviated the guilt he felt for going.

Win-win.

How are you making a difference?  Share a story in comments.  Tell us about something you have done, something you want to do or something you witnessed someone else doing…..  your stories make a difference.

Happy Monday, friends.

Filed Under: Give Good Get Good, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , ,

The VooDoo Doll

January 21, 2010 By 5 Comments

When I explain to you why I am carting around a VooDoo doll in my husband’s image, I know you will understand.

Last year, at this time, he was at the St. Regis in Aspen.  Sure, it was a ‘work trip’.  Sure, they had meetings.  They also had fancy meals, money falling from the ceiling to the tune of ‘show me the money’, and snow mobiling excursions.

Me?  I was here in St. Louis with the small people.  Alone.  On my birthday. (Are you crying for me yet?  No?  Well, you will.)

wes1098ex45495_mdThis year, he is here. On my 2nd favorite island in the world.  And I am here.  In St. Louis with the small people. Alone.  On my birthday.

Nevermind that this is his mom’s work reward trip – or that she took me two years ago – or that it really is his turn to go.  I would prefer to sulk about it.  And it would be nice if you felt sorry for me too.  Just a little.

Because he has sunshine, 85 degrees, perfect azure water and parasailing.

And I have crazy small people who argue….with me and each other.  All.The.Time. And rain.  And a high of 42.

Rude.

Sigh.

Itishisturn.  (voodoo arm twist) It.is.his.turn. (voodoo knuckle to his back) IT.IS.HIS.TURN. (voodoo sunburn)

Clearly I’m envious.  And by envious, I mean my blue eyes have turned green.  And I’m wearing green all week in protest.

And the crazy small people keep saying, “I miss my daaaaaddddyyyy!” every time I reprimand them.  Which makes me want to ship them to Siberia.

But only if they stop and pick up their daaaaaadddddyyyyy on the way.

Filed Under: Featured Content, I'm complaining, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , ,

Home Sweet Home

June 29, 2009 By 4 Comments

I love to travel.  Really, I do.

But at this very moment, there is absolutely nothing that sounds better than the comfort of my own home. We have been out of town twice in the past three weeks – and honestly – it has been exhausting.

I have been dreaming of my own bed.  Wishing for my shower. Crying over my kitchen.

And, I haven’t even mentioned just how desperately my small people need to be back on a regular schedule……but you can sympathize, right?  You understand the magical combination created in children when they are lacking sleep, have had little to no discernible fruit and far too much sugar, are getting too used to being entertained by amazing sights, and haven’t seen their own beds in days?  Notsomuch fun.

But, I digress.

The truth is – I have many thoughts to share from our recent trip.  I mentioned that my little brother is no longer single. I now have the pictures to prove it.  I will post those tomorrow.

After I sleep in my very own bed. With my teddy bear.  And shower in my very own shower. And eat in my very own kitchen.

Filed Under: A little bit of Everyday Tagged With: , , , ,

Unplugged

June 19, 2009 By 5 Comments

Filed Under: A little bit of Everyday Tagged With: , ,

Whip out the Voo-Doo Doll

January 19, 2009 By 2 Comments

When I am feeling particularly disenfranchised with my husband as I am right now, I whip out the Voodoo Doll. 

aspen-mainAt this very moment, he is in Aspen, Colorado vacationing working.  In fact, I believe he is currently ‘in town’ for a very important, very serious drinking game business dinner. I imagine there is a whole lot of absolutely no drinking involved. And, well, Aspen is clearly a homely town anyway, so I know he isn’t having any fun without me.

aspenroomsAnd I imagine when he gets back to the St. Regis his cheap hotel, he will find his room at the perfect temperature freezing cold, the bed covered in a luxurious down comforter some cheap quilt and I’m absolutely positive the bathroom doesn’t have much but  its very own tv a passable hair dryer.

You do know what my day has included.

 

snowmobilingAnd, I’m certain he has had to deal with something similar (like choosing which wine to try).

Soooo….back to the VooDoo Doll: It has brown hair and fabulous milk chocolate colored eyes – with little flecks of green.  It has a wide smile since Jeff is always laughing.  It isn’t life sized, so no need to talk height or weight.  And, friends, I know from experience….from the last time he took a work play trip like this without me:  it is effective.  In fact, it is VERY EFFECTIVE.

So….I’m whipping out the pins….and getting to work.  I imagine he’ll sleep a little less tonight.  And even less on Wednesday when he is snowmobiling and drinking working on my birthday while I’m hanging with the kiddos.

Wish me luck!

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, I'm just sayin' Tagged With: , , , ,

I’m in love!

March 4, 2008 By 1 Comment

You know the kind of love that won’t let you stop thinking about someone else?  The kind that makes you smile when you are alone….the kind that makes you wish the other person was actually edible…just so you could keep a small piece of them with you all the time.  It is the heart-racing-I-would-do-absolutley-anything-for-you kind of love.

 That is how I feel about my children.  (Can you tell I just got back from vacation?)

I missed them terribly (I still managed to have fun!) I missed the wicked little smile Delaney gets when she is trying to distract you from being mad.  I missed the way she wiggles her eyebrows at you while she is sucking her thumb.  I missed the way both of them smell.  I missed hearing Cooper say, “Mommy, what you do-ink?”  I missed how Delaney does her numbers and letters with such pride. I love the curve of Cooper’s neck…how his skin feels like velvet.  I missed my little girl’s sweet curls…how the cowlick at her hairline always makes her look a bit disheveled.  I missed their hugs….our ‘family hugs’ that send them running into our knees, hanging on with all their might…and the magic of the baby-mommy hugs that make me feel whole.  Delaney will wrap her entire body around mine; it is as though she has never stopped being a part of my body and soul.  Cooper holds on tight and rests his head on my shoulder.  I can’t get enough of the cuddling.

I love that with one simple look, my children can communicate how safe I make them feel.  They look at me like they KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will never let them down.  I have high expectations to live up to.  I am honored to try.  I am blessed to have love like this in my life.

I know that tomorrow, the ‘missing them’ may have worn off, but I am determined to stay focused on the love.  Distance from them has not made me love them more…it has forced me to see that gratitude for them should always be my first priority.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

Filed Under: Extraordinary Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Heading out of Dodge!

February 27, 2008 By 1 Comment

That’s it!  I am out of here….no cooking, no cleaning, no nose-wiping, no quarrel-stopping, no “please share with your brother”, no “please stop hitting your sister”, no bargaining to get the little ones to eat, no 2 hour trips to Target because I have to stop to clean up spilled lemonade or put all the toys back on the shelves, no winter coats, no snow.

At least for 5 days.

Oh bliss, oh joy, oh happy day….

Wait a minute….no angel girl hugs, no sweet baby boy kisses, no “night-night mommy”, no “mommy hold me”, no dress up, no ‘FAMILY HUGS’, no nighttime stories.

Wow….I’m going to miss them.  I’m blessed to know they will be in good hands…hands that will love and protect them while I am gone.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

Filed Under: Extraordinary, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,