More Precious Than Gold

January 5, 2012 By 10 Comments

One year ago today I sat in an airport and cried.  Stunned I wiped tears, I ignored looks, I choked on my own words as I called to tell my husband what I had just learned.  My friend Gina’s husband had been killed in a tragic accident.  Hit by a tow truck driver as he waited on the side of the road with his broken down car.

This was the beginning of 2011 for Gina.  The man she loved, taken from her, just days before they were to celebrate their wedding anniversary.  My heart was heavy with the thoughts of what I could only imagine would be an incredibly painful year for her.

I had no idea.

Let me stress: I had no idea.

I have truly lost count of the number of times I have thought to myself, “just how much is one woman supposed to take?”

And yet, while I rail about fair and unfair, Gina takes a deep breath and carries on.  She is remarkable like that.  While I would have crumbled to pieces, she has held herself and those around her together.  Strong, she is.

I had no idea this friend I adore…. this woman who was one of the very first people I ever wrote about on this site in August of 2009 would be someone who would impact my life as she has. I was then and am now awed by her ability to overcome, enthralled by her giving nature, drawn in by her immense talent.

Inspiration comes in many forms, but for me, right now, it has taken the shape of a petite brunette. She is sitting across from me calmly drinking ice tea as she talks about her drive to ‘give back’.  Photographer, Gina Kelly works with more than 20 charities in the St. Louis area.  That’s right, 2-0. 

The questions are galloping through my mind, leap-frogging over one another to spill out of my mouth first:  How does she find the time?  How does she choose who she works with? Does she have a favorite?  How does she give…is it time, talent, or money? Why does she do it?

Gina Kelly’s story is amazing.  Any given week you can find her photographing (for free) a Mother-Daughter Tea for little girls with Down Syndrome, flying to the Dominican Republic to document charity work with the Albert Pujols Foundation, joining with other local organizations to outfit children in a Dominican orphanage with eye-glasses, taking pre-school class pictures, catching a bride and groom in their perfect moment of love, or donating her time to tell the stories of previously homeless teenagers.
ExtraordinaryMommy.com, August 2009

I had no idea that the tragedy of January 4th was truly only the first in what would be a series of tremendous blows Gina would take to the chest, yet somehow continue to allow faith, the strength of those around her and a beautiful heart to keep her on her feet.

The next was a summer diagnosis of colon cancer. Don’t think she didn’t fight it and win, because she did.

It is her style.

Gina has been photographing my family for years. What a gift she has given me.  My small people are growing at lightening speed.  And each year – sometimes more than once in a 365 day span, Gina has been right by my side, capturing the moments, allowing me to memorize the magic. (And yes, Gina is the amazing photographer who took the picutre of us that ended up in the Czech Republic.)

I can’t officially turn back time, but in a way, Gina’s immense talent allows me to slow it down, to stop it every now and then.  To embrace the smiles, the hand holding, the everything that is my small people.

The gift Gina has given me is more precious than gold.

And in return, I give her my faith.

You see,  I believe today is her new beginning.  Today is the New Year Gina deserves.  As if proving she was strong enough to beat the colon cancer wasn’t enough, she was diagnosed with liver cancer at the beginning of December.  And then, just days before Christmas, was told the cancer had spread to other areas in her body.

And yet, when I talked to her, she spoke of nothing but faith and fighting.  Nothing but beating this.

And I believe her.  She is surrounded by love – a wonderful man, a soulmate, who is carrying her on this journey, her children and family.  And friends….. many, many friends.

My friend, thank you for the gift of you.  I have faith in you, Gina.

I am proud of your heart.  I am awed by your strength.  I am inspired by your character.

You are more precious than gold.

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A car accident shifts my perspective

March 25, 2010 By 63 Comments

I had a horrible feeling all day.  Deep in my gut I knew something just wasn’t right.  I was tempted to cancel all plans for my girl’s night out….the first in what felt like years.  Coop was just nine months old, Delaney was 2 1/2.

But how do you cancel based on a bad feeling?  When you even imagine yourself trying to make that phone call, it sounds like a bunch of hooey. Yes, I said hooey.

It ended up as a late night.

I was the designated driver.

I called my husband from downtown St. Louis – it was nearly 1am – to let him know we were on our way.  He was half-asleep and barely listening.  I drove the nearly 30 minutes to the suburbs and dropped off a girlfriend.  I sat in her driveway for a few moments trying to calm the entirely irrational fear I could no longer tamp down. That bad feeling was more intense.

Which route should I take home?  It seemed like such a monumental decision.  Should I take the freeway?  Side streets? Which side streets?  I watched my review mirror as though I was being chased.  I was aware of every speed limit sign, every stop sign, every car.

Except the one that ran the red light.

She crashed into the front right of my car sending me spinning through the intersection and then rolling down an embankment.  I wish I could tell you I don’t remember it.  I wish I could tell you my chest isn’t tight and my palms aren’t sweating as I type.  But  I do and they are.

I remember thinking I might die.  I can still feel the slam to the left side of my body as the car landed on its side. The car radio was blaring.  By the grace of God, my cell phone was in my lap.  I never knew why I was compelled to drive with it between my legs, tucked under my right thigh.

Now I know.

I called my husband.  I had to let him know I was ok. He didn’t believe me, but he was on his way to me before I was even removed from the car.

A stranger yelled from 50 yards out that the police were on their way.  I now know he was afraid the car might explode – so he wasn’t willing to come any closer.  When the police arrived, an officer strolled up to the car and said, “so, what happened?”  He then told me the Fire Department was going to ‘right’ the car in a little bit and get me out. Not so much.  The paramedics used the jaws of life to pry me out.

car-accident

The witness I talked to months later cried when I told him my name. This 45 year old man reached out and hugged me, “I thought you were dead.  I figured there was no way anyone could walk away from that.  I called my mom on the way home and cried to her.”

But I did walk away.  My left side looked like I’d been taking pitches from Albert Pujols.  And I had surgery to have glass removed from my hand.  But that’s it.

accident-wounds

I was still a mom, a wife, a friend.  I could go home to my kids. I walked away.

And everything changed.

I stood in the shower at 5am washing the glass from my hair, unable to send the visuals of spinning through the intersection down the drain with it.  It made me nauseous.  It still does.

But it made me grateful. I hugged harder.  I watched my world more closely.  I quit my part-time job the next day.   I had thought about starting a website…..  I wanted moms to remember what they were doing every single day was simply extraordinary. This was a sign.  I was not going to spend one more day doing something that no longer felt right.

I was alive.  That was extraordinary.

And this site was born.

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