I’m having one of those days. (or couple of days)

I’m horrendously disorganized – like ‘can’t-find-my-checkbook-amidst-the-massive-pile-of-papers’ kind of disorganized.

Every time my husband asks me a question, I panic – like, “what time is Coop’s doctor’s appointment tomorrow?” or “do you have you receipts from Vancouver?” or even “are the dishes in the dishwasher clean?”  Why do I panic, you ask?  Because I DON’T KNOW.  I should know these things, right?  Doctor’s appointments, receipts, home stuff?  But, right now, I don’t.

My house is a disaster zone.  Like ‘the-housekeeper-is-on-strike-disaster” except I don’t have a housekeeper, so apparently, I’ve been on strike.

The laundry has been done since 1987.

And dusting? Fuggehtaboutit.

My kids are not listening to me.  At all.  I say, “Delaney let’s get your homework out so we can get started on it.” and she promptly heads to the cabinet, pulls out a coloring book and sits down next to me to color.  So, not only does she ignore me (I still have a voice, right?) but she doesn’t care that she is ignoring me.

The pile of papers I mentioned above?  Threatening to take over my life.

And my kids – I adore them, and yet, I have severe mommy guilt.  Cooper cracked his head open while I was in Vancouver.  Clearly, he is fine – two staples (that come out tomorrow) and he was tackling Daddy and the dog the next day.  But I felt (still feel) sad and guilty that I wasn’t here when it happened.  Feels like a great big #mommyfail.

*Sigh*

We are hard on ourselves, aren’t we?

I’m so empowered by the events of the last four weeks – the traveling, the conversation, the people, the learning, the engaging, the amazing Olympics…..

And yet, I am tired.  I am overwhelmed.  And I need to focus on breathing.  Do you ever have to do that?  Just breathe?  Well, that’s me.

Just breathing.

Barring the dust, laundry and paper fiasco, tomorrow is a new day, yes?