I never said that ‘doing the right thing’ or ‘being a good example’ is easy.
In fact, though this may seem like a silly example, I sometimes find it to be a challenge.
Holding a door open for someone? Easy Peasy. Donating money to Haiti? Didn’t even think twice. Talking to my kids about sharing? Essential.
But fighting jealousy? Painful.
You may or may not know that my husband just spent the past week in St. John. He was with his mom – it was an award trip for her work. You also may or may not know that the ocean is an essential part of my soul (I was raised in California, but of course, now live in St. Louis) especially at this time of year. So, I wanted to go.
To be fair, Jeff’s mom was kind enough to take me with her a couple of year’s ago – so this trip, was, in fact, Jeff’s turn. But that did not change the fact that his going caused a nearly physical pain.
I was so bloody jealous. I found myself picking fights with him before he left. I couldn’t stop picturing the water, feeling the sun on my face, smelling the salt in the air. In case you are wondering, this type of behavior DOES NOT make a positive difference for my children.
So, in the middle of the night, as he was getting out of bed to leave on the trip, I made a decision. I would grow up. I would, painful or not, be happy for him. He deserves good and beautiful things. He needs some peace and quiet in his life.
So, every time he called, I was happy. I didn’t complain. I avoided any type of guilt trip.
The more I focused on being happy for him, the more I found that I was, in fact, happy for him.
And it paid off. My kids never experienced the nastiness that jealousy can inflict.
And better yet, Jeff came home last night….and thanked me for being so happy when we talked. It alleviated the guilt he felt for going.
Win-win.
How are you making a difference? Share a story in comments. Tell us about something you have done, something you want to do or something you witnessed someone else doing….. your stories make a difference.
Happy Monday, friends.
