The Potty Dilemma for Daddy

December 4, 2009 By 5 Comments

daddydelaneylaughWhen is a little girl old enough to enter a public restroom by herself?

That’s the question I was posed this week. The women’s restroom is uncharted territory for this Daddy (rightfully so). It reminds me of Noah’s Ark.

Users enter in pairs. They’re gone for what seems to be 40 days and 40 nights (what takes so long?). And, when they exit, tears of laughter or tears of some sob story that I don’t usually understand are raining down their freshly powdered faces. I’ll take my chances in a flooded men’s room.

So, on Monday night, my 5-year old daughter, 3-year old son, and I went to Home Depot. We’re there about 8 seconds when both of them need to use the potty. Cooper comes with me, and Delaney says “Daddy, can I use the girl’s room by myself?”

What? Really? She’s 5. Isn’t there an age requirement? You know something, she said “girl’s room” and I said “potty.” Maybe she is old enough, and I’m the one that needs to grow up some (that’s true, but a story for another Daddy Diary).

“Okay, honey, but don’t read the walls, stare straight ahead, and don’t look down.” Oh, she’s going into a women’s room, not a men’s room. “Just make sure you wipe the seat (do you women do that too?and every time I guess?, huh, wild).

Cooper and I leave the restroom in about 3 minutes, and Delaney is no where to be found. Oh geesh, what have I done? She was too little to go in there by herself. She must have fallen in or worse, she’s listening to some story that a woman is telling from watching Oprah. Oh, no, I’m a terrible Dad.

The Women’s Room Door opens. “Hey Dad.”

“Are you okay?” I ask.

And, I want to ask all of these questions that I’ve always wanted answers to. What was it like? Are there groups of women in there telling stories? Are there really no urinals? Are the walls all freshly painted? Is there no graffiti? Does it smell like a rose garden? I start to ask…and you know what she says.

“Yes, Dad, I’m fine. I just had to use the girl’s room. Where did you think I was going? On a boat ride to the Zoo?

Ah, kid’s imaginations are a wonderful thing. She read my mind.

Filed Under: A little bit of Everyday, Daddy Diary, Recent Posts Tagged With: , ,

This was fun to explain….

August 5, 2008 By 1 Comment

So I take the kids with me on some errands today…grocery store and and office supply store.

“Mommy, I have to go potty.” Delaney pipes up as we round an aisle.  I seek and find the nearest, grab Coop out of the cart and head in.  The wheelchair stall is occupied (I always look there first since it is the easiest way to manage the posse)  I notice the woman in the stall has hung her store employee apron over the stall.

 (hang on to this tidibt of info…it will be important in a minute)

I squeeze and shuffle, manuever and stuff the three of us into the stall.  As I’m in the process on helping Delaney….the toilet flushes in the other stall.  The other woman leaves the stall and immediately exits the bathroom.

Do you know what’s missing?

Yep…she didn’t wash her hands.  Yep…she’s a store employee.  Yep, my 4 year old instantly noticed the lack of running water generally associated with washing one’s hands AFTER ONE USES THE POTTY.

“Mommy, how come she didn’t wash her hands?” 

(Fill in bright, witty, understandable-to-a-4-year-old-response here)

Sadly, I’m not entirely sure what I said.  I think the word ‘gross’ came flying out of my mouth.  In fact, I know it did, because Delaney instantly repeated it. I think I became more concerned as we exited the stall that my kids would touch the bathroom door where the non-hand-washing-store-employee had just put her dirty hands.

Yuck and double yuck.  We did exit unscathed, and germ-free, thanks to my use of multiple paper towels.
 I hope.

However, Delaney spent the remaining 10 minutes in the store looking down every aisle and asking, “Is that the lady who didn’t wash her hands, Mommy?”  and “Is that her?” Of course, I was concerned said ‘gross’ employee would be checking us out.  Fortunatley, no.  I was starting to hope she worked in the stock room, but she did appear at the front as we were getting ready to leave.  I recognized her as she was the only woman in the store wearing a red apron.  By this time, Delaney was focused elsewhere.

I, however, wanted to call her on it.  Because, seriously….how many things is she going to touch in the store with her unwashed hands?  But, I decided a quick exit was my best bet.

Yuck.  Double yuck.

Filed Under: Can we talk?, Kids say the funniest things, Yuck Tagged With: , ,