I Believe In Picking My Battles

March 5, 2012 By 8 Comments

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What do you see in this picture? I see a plethora of stories, of emotions…. but then again… I know exactly what was happening at this very moment.   I see a freckled little girl, clearly in need of snuggling and a mommy willing to tackle that need.  Mommy is focused…  Little one is trying to keep her mind off whatever is bothering her right now.

You know what else I see?  That little one has her thumb in her mouth.  And what you, the viewer, don’t know: thumb sucking is this sweet girl’s one major vice. And yet it only happens when she is a) truly exhausted or b) when she really, really needs to comfort herself – as she does right now.

In this picture, we are waiting for a visit to the doctor.  Delaney first jammed her thumb playing basketball on Thursday evening and then re injured the same hand playing soccer on Saturday morning.  The good news: It wasn’t broken, but it was tender enough that the doctor requested an X-ray.

At the moment this picture was taken, Delaney was hurting and in need of ‘comfort’.  The thumb she injured was… no joke…. her ‘favorite thumb’…. so the thumb she is sucking in this picture?  Her other thumb.

I’m not a fan of the thumb sucking.  We’ve worked to get her to stop.  And quite honestly, she doesn’t do it that often anymore.  But in this moment, I made a choice.

I believe in picking my battles.

I may want the ‘thumb sucking habit’ to break.  But in this moment, I chose her comfort.

As a mom – I could literally spend ALL DAY fighting about what my small people choose to wear, how they style their hair, clean rooms and who fed the dog last…. but I choose my battles instead.

I make manners and school work, respecting adults and being kind the priorities they must live.

What do you choose?

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I Believe: Let Them Eat Cake

February 9, 2012 By 1 Comment

Ok, surely you and I both know they can’t eat cake EVERY DAY… but let’s, just for fun…. assume that letting my small people eat cake is something I do both literally and metaphorically. Because it is.

In my house, when I say ‘yes’ to cake, it is the equivalent of cupping my hands on either side of my mouth and bellowing ‘yes’ to something my small people have been hoping and wishing and begging for.

Cake is a Yes Day. I say ‘yes’ because I can. Because I want to. Because there is joy in simply watching them react to my words.

Because I am making them happy with something that is so truly simple.

Cake.

Because when you have cake, you create. You mix. You experiment. You learn.

And good heavens…. you lick the bowl.

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Does it get any better than that?

When was the last time you had cake?

When was the last time you said, ‘yes’ just because?

 

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I Believe In: Letting Your Kids Try.

January 9, 2012 By 7 Comments

I think a lot about my small people: Who they are growing up to be and how I can be guiding them.  Am I always shaping them with the love I intend, or do I let life, impatience and my own to-do list get in the way?

Last week, I shared my Beliefs for 2012.  Now, each week, I will begin to share with you, my beliefs about parenting.  These are the premises that guide who I am as a mother and who I hope my small people will grow up to be. These are things to do with your children.  

This one requires throwing cleanliness and patience out the window.

I Believe in Letting Them Try.  I Believe In Telling Them I Will Clean Up When They Do.

I want them to make the effort.  I want them to believe they CAN.  And?  I want to reward that effort.

This picture is my small people making their own lunches this morning.  They chose to do it on their own.  In fact, they surprised me with it.  They made a huge mess.  They licked the peanut butter spoon.  We were even running a little late.  But I loved it.  Because they can do it.

And somewhere along the way, I taught them they could.  And when I told them I’d clean up?

MAGIC.

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I’m Raising a Reader

September 6, 2011 By 10 Comments


Let’s be clear.  My small people have more athletic ability in their pinkie toes than I do in my entire body.

My brief, but traumatic, athletic career included a broken knee cap, a broken wrist, a sprained knee, a sprained wrist, three broken fingers, a concussion and a knocked out front tooth. All by the time I was nine.  It is, therefore, no surprise that I still duck when I see a ball coming my way AND my five year old son is apt to correct my form.

And by correct, I mean roll his eyes and then approach me slowly to actually SHOW me how it is supposed to be done.  And this includes all sports.  I have been coached on throwing a baseball, kicking a soccer ball, and RUNNING.  I am a sad, sad specimen of an athletic wannabe mom.

So the small people who excel at all-things-ball-bat-and-running related?  I, at times, have feared their DNA does not include ANYTHING from me.

Well, I did fear that. But not anymore.

I am raising a READER.  And you know what?  Excuse me while I yell this from the top of my house: She gets that from me.

My small girl started to read in Kindergarten. Last year, in first grade, she developed an aptitude for it and began to ask for books. But, at the time, she still preferred to have me read TO her.  But now…. that has changed.  Books are first on her list of, ‘may I please have’….AND she now begs to read TO ME.

And even better?  This picture was taken today.  She curled up on my bed with a book of her choosing and she read peacefully.  She is on page 220 of a chapter book she started on Friday.  **beams with pride**

At her age, I LOVED to read.  At bedtime, I used to sneak into the bathroom, faking a tummy ache, just to continue to be lost in one story after another. And now?  Guess who is turning her light back on to read after lights out?

Maybe we do share a little DNA.

 

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Anheuser Busch Family Talk About Drinking Roundtable Highlights

September 2, 2011 By 7 Comments

It may be a conversation you have yet to broach with your children – underage drinking.

But starting to chat with them when they are young is ideal. By young, I mean preschool.  And by ‘chat’, I don’t mean lecture in a stern voice.

I recently hosted a live virtual roundtable for Anheuser Busch on their Family Talk About Drinking Facebook page. I chatted with two experts, MJ Corcoran, a certified parent coach who helped to revamp the program and Kathy Casso, the VP of Corporate Social Responsibility at Anheuser Busch. The Family Talk program is a guide to help you begin the conversation about underage drinking with your children when they are young, stick with it when they are in middle school and continue it into high school and college. The program lasted 40 minutes –  but these are the highlights.

I’m so proud of this project… I hope you take the time to watch.

Tell me – what do you think?

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That Mom Award I Didn’t Win….

August 24, 2011 By 19 Comments

I was watching out the window….  you know, pretending NOT to be watching out the window.

He hopped out of the car first, turning around to help his big sister down.

As they made their way up the front walk, their second full day of school already a memory, she moved into the lead…clearly the expert in being dropped off after school. She turned around a few times, making sure her kindergarten brother was close behind.

I watched discreetly.  They were smiling and hurrying to the door, anxious to spill the days events at my feet. I did a few mental hand-springs: I have this down.  Would you look at them?  Uniforms still mainly clean (despite the small dude’s morning run through the sprinklers with the dog – IN said uniform – he claimed he was HOT), backpacks on tired little shoulders, actually looking out for each other.  I thought to myself, “I bet they even ate their grapes.”

This back-to-school business is a piece of cake.  I win.  Whatever the Mom Award is for making it through the first couple of days of school with your kids and your sanity intact…..  that award is mine.

“Mommy?” sweet hands reach for mine .  Those big blue eyes have a serious question.

“Yes, Buddy…..”, I waited.

“Am I a girl?”  I can tell he’s worried.

“No, Coop… you are, most definitely, a boy.  Why?”

“Because a boy today said, ‘Are you a girl?’ to me and then pointed to the boy next to him and said, ‘You see Scott**, he’s not a girl…he’s a boy because he has a haircut like mine.”

Coop has the most amazing hair ever. Ever.  Thick. Blond. Wavy curl.  He has good hair, but it is longer than the other boys in his class.  We like it that way. More importantly, HE likes it that way.

I sat myself down right there on the floor in the entry way.  You know that whole ‘piece-of-cake’ thing?  Who was I kidding?  I mentally, and gracefully decline said Mom Award. I don’t know if I will ever be any good at this parenting thing.  Seeing your kids sad….or wounded… it doesn’t get easier.  And I know I won’t always have the answers. This is just the beginning.

I never took my eyes from his, “Buddy….  you know you are a boy.  Sometimes people say things that aren’t nice.  That’s ok.  We know that words can hurt.  You tell him you ARE a boy and walk away. ”

My sweet girl chimed in, brushing his blond hair from his forehead, “Buddy, its ok….  I’ll protect you.”

And with that?

I suddenly felt like I was winning again.

**name changed so as not to identify anyone in the class

 

Filed Under: Breaking my heart, Featured Content, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , ,

Wordless Wednesday – Favorite School, Favorite Small People

August 23, 2011 By 7 Comments

My small people have now started school.  Two weeks ago, I took them to MY last school, the University of San Diego.  I snapped this picture (with my brand new Nikon!) and it shows everything I love about that small dude and small girl…. and everything that is gorgeous about USD.

The small girl plans to attend as a Freshman in 2021.

Filed Under: A little piece of Heaven, Featured Content, Recent Posts, Wordless Wednesday Tagged With: , , , ,
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