I must have been 16, maybe 17…. Locked in one of many teen vs. mom battles of wills and I thought to myself “when I have a daughter, I will NEVER treat her like this!!” cue the heavenly orchestra because really? I KNEW BEST.
That sentiment was followed by many other variations:
“I will never say that….”
“Because I said so?…. What kind of B.S. is that anyway?”
“I will never make my daughter wear that….”
“Curfew? What curfew? I will TRUST my children….”
“My brother has different rules? I will treat my children the SAME….”
So, it was surprising to me when, the moment my small girl was placed in my arms, the world shifted on its axis. I always knew I would love her. But I didn’t know I would LOVE her. Because no one can really prepare you for what that feels like – the emotion that sweeps your soul – the commitment you make to yourself, to her – in that split second, “I will take care of you, baby…. Even when you fight me.”
And I knew.
I knew that all of those teen angst moments would come back to haunt me. I will be hard on my children – because I love them. I will have high expectations for them – because they deserve that. There are rules. Because they need them to shape their sense of right and wrong. And no, they don’t like some of them – but you know what? I can make those rules…. Because I said so.
It surprised me to realize I had this in me. It surprised me to realize that while I was wrong all that time, I really just didn’t know – how could I? And you know what? My kids will feel the same way. And someday… I imagine, they will be surprised to realize that I too, like my Mom (and Dad) really did know what I was doing…
What has been most surprising to you about Motherhood?
As a side note: Other things that I have found surprising?
- When your child is sick or hurting, you can and will tolerate anything – even vomit in you hair.
- I’m not nearly as patient as I thought I was
- I can operate on 4 hours of sleep a night. For a very long time.
- The love you feel as a parent is fierce. Like I-will-knock-you-down kind of fierce. I hope I am never tested.
- I believe kids are born with a certain personality – and no amount or ‘kind’ of parenting will change that
This Mother’s Day conversation is sponsored by a company I love (and use!) Tiny Prints. I love that they have given me some beautiful things to think about as Mother’s Day approaches. All of their Mother’s day cards(and Father’s day cards too!) are fully customizable and can be sent straight to the recipient. You can even schedule the cards to be sent ahead of time too.
It is Delaney’s smile and her ever growing vocabulary. She loves to snuggle and can’t ever stop saying, “Mommy, Look!” I love that she still wants to hold my hand, and never gets up from a nap without giving me a hug. She isn’t the best eater, but when she says, “Mommy, thanks for making a great dinner.”, I absolutely melt. I love that whenever I sing-song, “Delaney is…..” , she sing-songs right back, “A fuzzy bunny!” Right now she is a bit under the weather. Her croupy cough makes her seem so vulnerable. It is terrible, I know, but I love it when she is vulnerable – when she needs me. I adore saying prayers with her at the end of the day. She always says, “And thank you for a beeee-you-ti-ful day.” Every day, I can see more of her “baby” leaving, and more of the little girl she is rapidly becoming. She sings constantly – half of the time she makes it up – the other half, she is still singing Christmas carols, punctuated by the odd Barbie Diamond Castle ballad. She works so hard to teach her little brother and loves to learn. She is definitely my little angel.
And her little brother, well, he is 2 and very good at it. But today, I focused only on the fantastic and amazing in him. His smile gets me every single time. He could tell me he just wrote a cuss word on the wall with a Sharpie and I would still have to stifle a smile when he turns that little face on me. I can’t get enough of his hugs. When I put him down for a nap, when I walk out the front door, when I leave him in the day care at the gym, he follows me saying, “You need give me ‘nother hug and kish.” I can’t resist. I love that the first thing he does when he sees me after nap is to wrap his chubby little arms around my neck and smile. Inevitably he then says, “Mommy, I missed you while I was sleeping.” (cue tears) Every night when he goes to bed, we exchange our verbal good night, “I love you, my buddy.” and “I love you my mommy.” I smile from the inside out when I hold his hand and when he asks me to skip with him instead of walk. He always says, “Mommy, will you be my baby?” when he wants me to hold him so he can drink his milk. He always has a ball in his hand: a basketball, a baseball, a football. And he wants nothing more in life than for me or Daddy to play with him. Such a sweet little buddy.
