How do you want to be celebrated on Mother’s Day?

May 7, 2011 By 4 Comments

The celebration of Motherhood, for me, is wrapped up in the tiny details – it is in the dandelions clutched in tiny fists, presented to me as Royal flowers, it is the unexpected, “Mommy?….  I love you.” from the quiet of the backseat of the car… it is the smile I can’t hide when one of the small people holds the door open for someone or says, ‘thank you’ without a prompt….  It is in hearing the small dude say he can’t wait to be at the same school as his sister so he can hug her at recess or the small girl congratulate her brother on a school project.  Individually, these moments are but grains of sand gathering on the shore of my life as a mother…  but collected?

They mean I am doing something right.

And THAT is worth celebrating.

In the sea of guilt that threatens, some days, to take me down, it matters to me to know there are moments, there are glimpses and golden reminders.

I know, for some mothers – being celebrated on Mother’s Day means a ‘day off’ – heading to the spa, a massage, a pedicure, no laundry…..  and for others, it means to be surrounded by family.  It seems to me that both age and the length of time you have been a mother factor in to your preferences here.  As a brand new mom – you are enamored by all things motherhood…. You wouldn’t dream of spending your first Mother’s Day without the being who made you so….  When you are in the throes of the crazy – the taxi driving, the soccer games, the PTA, the homework, the 9 year old or teen angst – you can’t seem to help but scream for the Calgon but as your children begin to develop a sense of their own lives….  Distancing themselves naturally, you long to grab them by the shoulder and pull them back.

I know, if it was up to my mom – we would be with her from sunrise to sunset.  But I have friends who would be happy with breakfast in bed and a day off.

For me….  I think I fall somewhere in the middle.  Now, don’t go accusing me of being wishy-washy.  I want to spend time with my small people.  I want to be surrounded by everything that reminds me of the joy of being a mom – I want to be hugged a million times – I want smiles and little-bitty hands curled in mine – I want eyes that look at me – still somehow sure I have the answers. – I want my children to get along…. AND I don’t want to do the laundry or make dinner.

So there.

Who’s with me?  How would you like to be celebrated on Mother’s Day?

This Mother’s Day conversation is sponsored by a company I love (and use!) Tiny Prints.  I love that they have given me some beautiful things to think about as Mother’s Day approaches.  All of their Mother’s day cards(and Father’s day cards too!) are fully customizable and can be sent straight to the recipient. You can even schedule the cards to be sent ahead of time too.

 

Filed Under: A little piece of Heaven, Featured Content, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , ,

What has most surprised you about Motherhood?

May 5, 2011 By 11 Comments

I must have been 16, maybe 17…. Locked in one of many teen vs. mom battles of wills and I thought to myself “when I have a daughter, I will NEVER treat her like this!!”  cue the heavenly orchestra because really?  I KNEW BEST.

That sentiment was followed by many other variations:

“I will never say that….”

“Because I said so?…. What kind of B.S. is that anyway?”

“I will never make my daughter wear that….”

“Curfew?  What curfew?  I will TRUST my children….”

“My brother has different rules?  I will treat my children the SAME….”

So, it was surprising to me when, the moment my small girl was placed in my arms, the world shifted on its axis.  I always knew I would love her.  But I didn’t know I would LOVE her.  Because no one can really prepare you for what that feels like – the emotion that sweeps your soul – the commitment you make to yourself, to her – in that split second, “I will take care of you, baby….  Even when you fight me.”

And I knew.

I knew that all of those teen angst moments would come back to haunt me.  I will be hard on my children – because I love them.  I will have high expectations for them – because they deserve that.  There are rules.  Because they need them to shape their sense of right and wrong. And no, they don’t like some of them – but you know what?  I can make those rules….  Because I said so.

It surprised me to realize I had this in me.  It surprised me to realize that while I was wrong all that time, I really just didn’t know – how could I?  And you know what?  My kids will feel the same way.  And someday… I imagine, they will be surprised to realize that I too, like my Mom (and Dad) really did know what I was doing…

What has been most surprising to you about Motherhood?

As a side note:  Other things that I have found surprising?

  • When your child is sick or hurting, you can and will tolerate anything – even vomit in you hair.
  • I’m not nearly as patient as I thought I was
  • I can operate on 4 hours of sleep a night.  For a very long time.
  • The love you feel as a parent is fierce.  Like I-will-knock-you-down kind of fierce.  I hope I am never tested.
  • I believe kids are born with a certain personality – and no amount or ‘kind’ of parenting will change that

This Mother’s Day conversation is sponsored by a company I love (and use!) Tiny Prints.  I love that they have given me some beautiful things to think about as Mother’s Day approaches.  All of their Mother’s day cards(and Father’s day cards too!) are fully customizable and can be sent straight to the recipient. You can even schedule the cards to be sent ahead of time too.

 

 

Filed Under: Am I lucky or what?, Extraordinary, Mommy Lottery, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , , ,

A Mother’s Day Question: Are you the Mother you imagined?

April 27, 2011 By 19 Comments

A video question:  Think and respond – via comment OR video :)  I would love to know what you think.

Are you the mother you imagined you would be?

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Can we talk?, Featured Videos Tagged With: , ,

If I could only teach my children one thing…..

April 20, 2011 By 14 Comments

Photo by Gina Kelly, Art By Gina, St. Louis

Seven years ago I was starting to waddle.  Within another month I would say goodbye to my nearly perfect posture, my long stride and worst *gasp* my desire to wear high heels.  I was growing a baby.  I would talk to her daily – sometimes as I went about my day and often as I crawled into bed, exhausted at the end of the day. This was, naturally, when my sweet girl was most active.  8pm and a tired Mommy-to-be were an invitation for the small one to graduate into a full-fledged punter.  There are field goals in her future, I’m still certain.

My chatting was often idle, but filled with dreams and doings, wishes and would-be-wisdom.  As if it was even remotely possible that I could possess any child-rearing wisdom at this point in my life.  I would rub my belly (or if I’m honest sometimes push her back after an hour of kidney-football) and consider the many things I hoped to teach….

How to instill confidence?  And Independence? A desire to stand up for people who can’t do it for themselves? A kind heart? A strong work ethic? A love of family?  A willingness to embrace her strengths and acknowledge her weaknesses? Loyalty? Honesty? A commitment to trying her best?  Have fun? Laugh every day if you can?

Then, and now, my head spins and my shoulders fall under the weight of this responsibility.  I’m no longer growing a baby.  I’m growing a child, a person…someone who will eventually be an adult. (eventually being a VERY LONG TIME FROM NOW, thank heavens….) And she may eventually carry this same responsibility.

So, I comfort myself (with wine…. I kid, I kid) by ruminating….  how did I come to have the desire to pass on these qualities?  If I’m passing them on…  I must have learned them at some point.  Right?

And that means this woman, my mother, gets the credit for living the example.

Photo by Carey Schumacher, Barefoot Memories, San Diego

If I could only teach Delaney (and of course, Cooper too) one thing, it would be this:

Live the example.  And do it with a kind heart.

I have to believe that the rest will fall into place.  If I show my children what it means to be kind, to be independent, to give?  They will understand in a way my words could never convey.

What one lesson do you hope to teach your children?

This Mother’s Day conversation is sponsored by a company I love (and use!) Tiny Prints.  I love that they have given me some beautiful things to think about as Mother’s Day approaches.  All of their Mother’s day cards (and Father’s day cards too!) are fully customizable and can be sent straight to the recipient. You can even schedule the cards to be sent ahead of time too.

Filed Under: Extraordinary, Featured Content, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Where my heart is….

April 19, 2011 By 21 Comments

My small people?  They are wise.

Too wise.

Wise enough to recognize my absence and brave enough to pretend it is all ok.

But I can see we are wading into new territory.  I’ve traveled before.  Three days here.  The odd weekend there…  but never like this.  Never gone more than I am home.  For a while when I only traveled three days in a two month period, they would whine and moan, attaching themselves vise-like to my ankles.  I would drag us both down the stairs fearing one wrong move and we would all tumble.  And I’d end up with a broken hip.

Now that I’m traveling – sometimes a week at a time, they comfort each other and it is their silence that speaks to me.  It is the joy in their eyes searching for recognition, for love, for placement in mine…. this is what I hear echoing in my ears even when they don’t say a word.  It is the enthusiasm of a first goal hooted and high-fived as I hop in the car from the airport…

It is the, “Mommy-will-you-tie-my-shoe-get-me-some-milk-look-at-this-picture-I-made-you-HOLD-MY-HAND-fix-my-ponytail-carry-my-soccer-ball-LOOK-AT-ME-read-me-a-story-dance-with-me-pet-the-puppy-TELL-ME-YOU-LOVE-ME….”  that screams to me….

And I hear them.  Not in my head.

But in my heart.

I hear them.  I hold them.

When I arrived home yesterday, I didn’t answer my phone.  I didn’t shoot you a quick email.  I didn’t even plug in my computer for the first 6 hours I was here.  Because I wasn’t really here.

I was waaaaayyyyy over here.

And I like it over here.  It is soft.  And warm.  And full of giggles and light, goodness and heart.

If home is where the heart is?  Well….  my home is wrapped tightly between a small girl with freckles and brown curls and a spunky blond dude prone to yelling, “hugs, Momma!”

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Happy Mother’s Day

May 9, 2010 By 2 Comments

A Mother’s Day Message from me and the small people :)

Filed Under: Featured Videos, Gratitude, Video and Vlog-It! Tagged With: , , , , ,

Thank you for the Second Chance with My Mom

May 8, 2010 By 20 Comments

When I was 18 years old, a senior in high school, my mom was given six weeks to live.

Her diagnosis progressed from a bleeding ulcer to pancreatitis to pancreatic cancer.  She was fading away before our eyes, losing weight, struggling to mask the unbearable pain from my dad, brother and I.

We didn’t have health insurance.  The City of Hope in Los Angeles came to our rescue….taking her in, performing her surgery and sharing the news that she had been, amazingly, misdiagnosed.

She did not have cancer.

What I remember vividly from that time…..saying goodbye to her.  Since it was possible she wouldn’t make it through surgery, we each….my dad, my brother and I, all had moments with her.  Moments where she struggled to pack a future’s worth of advice into ten minutes.

Be nice to your brother.  Take care of your dad – he’s going to need you.  Remember you can be and do absolutely anything you want.  Remember, no matter what, I will always be with you.

We walked with her as far as we could.  They put her on the elevator, facing out.  My dad, my little brother and I stood up straight, held hands, smiled to surround her with strength, mouthed ‘I love you’s’ and held our breath as the ice cold doors slid shut.

And then we crumbled.

Surgery was half the time it should have been.  The doctors swore what they were seeing in her was cancer, but it wasn’t.

She would recover.  And she did.

danielleandmom

She was there when I graduated from high school and from college.  She helped me get ready on my wedding day.  She has held both of my babies.

She is a Nana.  She is a wife.  And she is my mom.

Even though she lives almost 2000 miles away….and I don’t see her nearly as often as I would like.  I know that I can.  And that matters.

Thank you, Mum – for always being there.  I love you.

Do you live far away from your mom and would like to be reunited with her for a special occasion?

Procter & Gamble is doing something amazing through “Thank you, Mom Reunions”.  They are reuniting more than 100 moms and kids (between now and November) for those special milestone moments.

  • Head to ThankYouMom.com
  • Submit your story (100 words or less) explaining why you would like to be reunited with your mom (or the mom figure in your life)
  • Encourage your friends and family to vote.
  • 15 winners will be chosen every month between now and November
  • Winners will receive a travel voucher to help cover the cost + a digital video camera to capture the reunion (which you can share on ThankYouMom.com if you want!)

Good Luck!

From the ThankYouMom.com site:

ELIGIBILITY: This promotion is open only to residents of the 49 United States (excluding Maine) and the District of Columbia who are 18 years of age or older at time of entry. Employees of Procter & Gamble, its affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising, promotion and internet agencies and their immediate family members and/or those living in the same household of each are not eligible. All federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Void in Maine and where prohibited by law.

Filed Under: Featured Content, Gratitude, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , ,
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