The Moment When All Is Right In The World

August 8, 2012 by 1 Comment

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I can’t say it happens all the time.  I can’t even say it happens regularly… but when it does, it is magic. There is nothing that makes me happier than seeing my small people being kind to each other.

As Summer has begun to wind down, their tolerance with each other has faded.  They have found new and interesting ways to taunt, tease and mock each other.  Their ‘playing nicely together’ has taken a back seat to a special kind of sibling rivalry that seems destined to drive me mad.

The two small people who ended the school year hand-in-hand are now happily tackling each other.  Apparently it is fun.  I’ve said my share of, ‘It’s all fun and games until some one gets hurt’. As well as, “Don’t come crying to me…” and “Why don’t you both head to your room until you can choose to be kind to each other…”

She has become a master at mimicking him.  He has a degree in needling her right when she most desires time alone. There is just something about having an older sister and a younger brother than can make you a little bit crazy.

But this moment you see here?  This is the opposite of all of that.  It was a gift to me.

It happened this past week. I had been out of town for a few days and they both knew I was desperate to spend time with them. And even more so, desperate to spend time with them while they were being kind to each other.

It was every bit as magical as it appears.  They do truly love each other that much. I believe with all my heart: when my small people are good to each other, everything feels right in my world. (I should tape this to their ceilings so it is the las thing they see every night)

What do you believe?

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I Believe In Picking My Battles

March 5, 2012 by 8 Comments

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What do you see in this picture? I see a plethora of stories, of emotions…. but then again… I know exactly what was happening at this very moment.   I see a freckled little girl, clearly in need of snuggling and a mommy willing to tackle that need.  Mommy is focused…  Little one is trying to keep her mind off whatever is bothering her right now.

You know what else I see?  That little one has her thumb in her mouth.  And what you, the viewer, don’t know: thumb sucking is this sweet girl’s one major vice. And yet it only happens when she is a) truly exhausted or b) when she really, really needs to comfort herself – as she does right now.

In this picture, we are waiting for a visit to the doctor.  Delaney first jammed her thumb playing basketball on Thursday evening and then re injured the same hand playing soccer on Saturday morning.  The good news: It wasn’t broken, but it was tender enough that the doctor requested an X-ray.

At the moment this picture was taken, Delaney was hurting and in need of ‘comfort’.  The thumb she injured was… no joke…. her ‘favorite thumb’…. so the thumb she is sucking in this picture?  Her other thumb.

I’m not a fan of the thumb sucking.  We’ve worked to get her to stop.  And quite honestly, she doesn’t do it that often anymore.  But in this moment, I made a choice.

I believe in picking my battles.

I may want the ‘thumb sucking habit’ to break.  But in this moment, I chose her comfort.

As a mom – I could literally spend ALL DAY fighting about what my small people choose to wear, how they style their hair, clean rooms and who fed the dog last…. but I choose my battles instead.

I make manners and school work, respecting adults and being kind the priorities they must live.

What do you choose?

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I Believe: Teach Your Kids To Protect Each Other

February 21, 2012 by 2 Comments

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From the time they could recognize each other, my small people have been aware of Rule #1 in our house:

PROTECT EACH OTHER.

My younger brother and I are only two and a half years apart and we have never been close.  We are, in fact, so very different, it is often difficult to imagine we were raised in the same family.  I am incredibly proud of him, of all he has become (he’s a brilliant chef and just opened a brand new restaurant in NYC if you are in the area or might be visiting) and the husband he is to his wonderful wife.  But it doesn’t change the fact that we weren’t close when we were 7 and 5, or 13 and 11, or 21 and 19.  And not now.

And I want something different for my small people.  I know I can’t control their personalities, but I do everything I can to nurture their desire to protect each other.

So far, it is working. Don’t get me wrong – they FIGHT.  They are unkind to each other.  They name-call and push.  But they also hold hands and have tender nick-names for each other.  They let the other ‘go first’ and sacrifice desserts to give to each other.  When they say prayers at night, they often compliment the other’s performances on the soccer field, on a test or just playing in the backyard.

They are PROUD of each other.  And good heavens – just let another kid say something mean – they are the FIRST to jump to the defense of one another.

Now… I know I can’t predict the future and maybe they won’t always stay close, but for now…

I believe in Sibling Love and nurturing their need to protect each other.

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I Believe: I Just *Might* Be Doing Something Right….

January 16, 2012 by 6 Comments

I spend a lot of time doubting myself when it comes to parenting.

Am I feeding them enough vegetables?  Why, oh WHY did I ever let them sleep with me? What if I can’t equip them with everything they need to be strong?  I could easily second guess every decision I have made since the day both of my small people were born.

But every once in a while, there is a moment.  And that moment is blinding in its brilliance.  In that moment, I think, MAYBE…. just MAYBE, I might be doing something ‘right’.

I had one of those moments today.

It was simple.  We stopped at Panera for lunch. He asked for Mac n’ Cheese. She asked for Grilled Cheese.

Lunch arrived.  There were tears.  He MEANT to ask for Grilled Cheese.  He was devastated as only a five year old small dude can be when lunch isn’t JUST what you want….and worse, you have to watch your sister eat the food you MEANT to order.

And yet… when I looked at my small people?  Who had the Mac n’ Cheese? My small girl.  She traded.  No one asked her to do it.  No one even suggested it.  All by herself….she took the meal she DIDN’T EVEN LIKE.

Just to be nice.

And so, my friends…. it is with this, I conclude…

I do believe….I just *MIGHT* be doing something right.

What do you believe?

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