Where Ordinary Meets Mom
4 year old Delaney is always good for a morning giggle:
As she stands in front of me trying to work the clasp on a necklace, she says:
“I can’t do this! I need my glasses. I can’t see anything.”
P.S. She doesn’t have glasses. She does, however, have a grandmother who says those very words often. 
I just received this in an email from a friend and it made me laugh…hope it does the same for you on this Friday.
: Important Notice:
DUE TO RECENT BUDGET CUTS,
AND THE RISING COST OF ELECTRICITY, GAS AND OIL,
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL HAS BEEN TURNED OFF.
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE
Sincerely,
The Government
Make me absolutely insane????
Have you seen this thing? Better yet, have you heard it?
Of course….you would have had to have decided that McDonald’s was acceptable dinner fare for your children sometime in the last week to have the pleasure of this Kung Fu Panda’s company.
Any time you so much as walk by the damn thing it yells, “Ska-doosh” or a crazy kung fu sound like “Yaaaa Haaa”.
Why do I know this? Because Mini had it in the car with her….and when she got out…she left it in her car seat….JUST OUT OF MY REACH. Every. Single. Time. I. Turned. A. Corner. Or. Breaked. It. Ska-dooshed. At. Me.
Haven’t even seen the movie…yet I feel compelled to say “Ska-Doosh” several times a day.
This would be funny if I was 6 years old. Not so much in your mid 30′s. I’m just sayin’.
Seriously….winter is over, right? So, my kids are supposed to be healthy, right?
Nope…on the heels of the 6 day 104 degree temp, Coop now has an amazing rash….under both arms and spreading to his back, in the crooks of both elbows, on the entire back of his neck…. but no temp and he isn’t complaining. Dr says to wait til morning to see how he is….
And of course….Delaney now has a fever too….not as high…just over 100 (under the arm) and a lovely seal bark of a cough.
So….in order to make me (and you) laugh a little….here is a pic of my little guy:
The other day…..he looked at me and said, “look, Mommy……I have nibbles.”
I will forever call them nibbles.
Because it makes me laugh. Hard. Every time he says it. Which is now every time he has his shirt off
…that I snickered when my long lost hubby told me he was supposed to go parasailing today (told you he was hard at work!) but couldn’t because it started to rain? I thought about crying for him…he’s always wanted to go..but then I remembered…..he’s at the beach sans kids…and well, I’m clearly NOT. So….boo-flippin-hoo. Hope he enjoyed his beach run in the rain.
In case you are wondering….voo-doo dolls and crossing your fingers and wishing really, really hard do work.
I’m thinking I’m starting to sound bitter….but really, the time alone has been a bit refreshing. I would, however, feel a bit better if he was in…say….Anchorage and not beachside.
Well…he’s back tomorrow…and it really is a bit sad to hear the kids say, “I really miss my daddy”. (Aw, shucks…I guess I miss him too.)
Dear Honey,
I just want you to know how proud I am of you….I am thrilled you are excited about your new job! It is a tremendous opportunity and you deserve it. You worked so hard to get the job, interviewed a bazillion times and truly convinced them you are THE man for the job.
So, now, the work (vacation) begins. The kids and I really miss you (hate you) now that you have officially started work (playtime). It is too bad (yeah right) that you have to be out of town for your first week of labor (sunning and drinking). I know you have a very hectic schedule (fraternity party) while you are gone….and it must be so hard for you to be holed up (St. Regis Hotel) in such a stuffy (beachy) place (heaven). I mean, I really hope they are treating you well (is that a down comforter?)
I know there will be a lot of meetings (seriously???? Beach Volleyball??? WTF?) 
and so much information (don’t forget your bathing suit) to take in, but you’ll battle through (have another). I hope you aren’t overwhelmed (sprain your ankle in the sand). I know you are such a hard worker (drinker) and there is so much for you to learn (can beer and pina coladas mix?) I really hope you get some down time (did you really think telling me there was a flat screen on the mirror in the bathroom was a good idea?) I know you didn’t mean to keep telling me I would love the hotel, (I wanted to jump through the phone and kick your sorry…well, you know) you just really wanted to share (gloat…jack#**)
Don’t worry about us (by ‘us’, I mean me and the children you fathered). We’re doing just fine (still hate you). Kids are great (fighting like cats and dogs) Weather here has been fantastic (yep, raining for the 417,000th day in a row) Everyone is sleeping well (15 minutes at a time) I’m getting plenty of exercise (taking toys up and down the stairs) and eating well (tyson chicken nuggets and fries..oh, and an apple).
By the time you come back, the house will be clean (under the thick layer of dirt tracked in from the rain), the toys will be put away (tossed out), the kids will be well mannered (except for the constant ‘no’s!’) and I will be waiting to welcome you home (long gone…note on the fridge….don’t try to find me).
Miss you much! (I. KNOW. YOU. DIDN’T. JUST. TELL. ME. YOU. COULD. PLAY. BASEBALL. ON. YOUR. BALCONY. WHILE. YOU. OVERLOOK. THE. OCEAN.)
Hugs and Kishes.
D
PS…If you’d like to give my husband a call to congratulate him on his new job (crank call)…he is in room 303 (just kidding)! I don’t even know his room number…that’s what cell phones are for, right?
I think children are the most observant lot of all…. And worse, mine feel compelled to mention everything they notice.
Take for example, that my sweet Delaney is apt to throw me under the bus ANYTIME she notices something new: “I love your new shoes, Mommy.” (picture the sidelong glance from my husband) and then there is, “Wow, Mommy…you look pretty….I’ve never seen that new shirt before.” (another, slightly more hostile look from hubby).
I can’t even pretend to watch my diet around the child…”Mommy…why do you smell like chocolate?” Serioulsy….is this some type of cosmic joke? For 30+ years (don’t ask) I have operated as an independant woman…(well…at least a portion of that time) But now, all of a sudden, I have to answer for everything I do (yes, everything) “Mommy, why did you put that book on the counter?”, “Mommy, why are you wearing those pants??”, “Mommy, why are you eating that?”.
Somehow….I feel as though I operated just fine before…but now I have a mini-watch-everything-I-do-guardian. And she is THREE. She has no fear. She is brutally honest: “Mommy, what is wrong with your face?” (this after a small, but clearly noticeable breakout) And she pulls absolutely no punches: “Mommy…those pictures of you are, well….interesting.”
How in the world does she catch everything????
Learn more about starting a business from home with little ones in your midst.
