Creating an Alliance…. Building a Tribe

She said, “Sometimes I feel scattered, running in too many directions.  Sometimes I feel lost entirely.”

And they said, “We understand.”

She said, “I wish I was funny.”

And they said, “We think you are.”

She said, “The worst part is when you feel alone, and you FORGET what you have accomplished and you feel as though you are drowning under the weight of what you haven’t done….”

And they said, “We do that too.”

She said, ” I know what I really, really want to do….deep down in my soul.”

And they said, “How can we help?”

She took a deep breath and looked from one beautiful face to another.  She thought she knew why she had flown 21-hundred miles from St. Louis to Los Angeles….  why she had driven an additional few hours up the coast and was now seated in this….  this yurt….  surrounded by these brilliant women.

The goal was to learn…

to grow…

to stretch…

wasn’t it?

She was feeling rather Eat, Pray, Love-ish….

Maybe this trip to Ojai wasn’t about the goal after all, but the journey.

She had come ready to think, to prepare….to return to her own corner of the Internet and implement what she had learned…  But instead she contemplated, she ruminated, she devoured the  conversation, the exchanges, the friendships.

She had come ready to talk ‘giving back’ through blogging with two incredible women who live goodness and change and was instead inspired by the collective love that a group of brilliant minds can generate.

She sat outside by herself at one point, the creek a soundtrack to the experience….  trying to understand what was happening.  (She talks to herself a lot)

And she realized.

This.

Is a Tribe.

And this tribe of 31 women? Said nary a negative word over the course of 72 hours.  There was never a mention of what they didn’t like in this space – only what they love.  And who they love.  And why they love.

And from love is born a willingness to support.

And a desire to witness success.

And from love, support, and success, my friends….  you have yourselves a TRIBE.

And it is for this journey, this circle of support, that she traveled to Ojai.

A million thank yous to the women who made Ojai the magical experience that it was….  thank you to Leane, Jessica, Andrea and Cyn for taking the risk – to Moji and Paper Culture for understanding what we were trying to accomplish, to Lisa for the visible reminder of that magic that I have on my key chain every day and to each of the amazing women who created each moment of that journey with me.

I am extremely grateful.

Somewhere out there

I used to be able to count my friends.  You know – friends from high school, friends from college, friends from work….

But now, that circle has expanded and I can longer register with ease the people who have an influence on my daily life. With amazing blogs, facebook and twitter wrapping their tentacles tightly around me, I am bound to so many as though I have been doused in maple syrup and grabbed by a toddler.

And by bound, I mean I care.  And by I care, I mean what happens in your life effects me.  I laugh with you, I shake my fist in solidarity, and I cry, I weep with you.

Tonight, I am weeping. Double time.

Just days ago, my sweet friend Arianne lost her baby at 18 weeks. And it quite simply breaks my heart.  I’ve known Ari for less than a year, and yet her presence is profound and peaceful.  You could know her for an hour and find yourself sharing like you have memories dating back to 5th grade.

And then there is the friend I have known for nearly 20 years.  Tonight she emailed to say she had lost her baby at 15 weeks.  As with Ari, my breath caught in my throat and my heart splintered.

Both of these women amaze me with their strength and eloquence despite their pain.

My husband calls me sensitive.  He says it in that half-irritated, half-awed sort of tone that only men can duplicate.  He feels compelled to stay detached but is, at once, touched by the love I have for the friends in my life. Apparently my sensitivity is an asset.

About these friends – both new and old – I am sensitive.  And I will continue to be. Because they have touched my life in some way, I can’t help but share the ups and downs of their days.  It is how I am wired – for better of for worse.

I am in the middle of the country.  These two women I adore are on either coast.  I am here and they are somewhere out there. I can’t knock on their door, sit on their couch and wrap my arms around them, but I can tell them I love them.

And I do.