The Choice
Dear Daddy Diary-
Today, May 23rd, 2010 was the toughest day of my life since July 10, 2004.
I made a career decision today that I’m not sure was the right one. Do we ever know? I’m a mental wreck. My mind has gone back and forth so much in the last 24hrs that I feel like a politician. I flipped a coin 15 times. I flipped my 3-yr old son! Luckily, he landed on tails. I chose the safe, conservative route. I took the job that I was supposed to take. Yet, still something is missing.
I used to be the guy that would be a risk taker, with a “bring it” kind of attitude. I never did it for the money. I never did what I was “supposed to do.” I was a sportscaster for goodness sakes. I made no cash, lived in small towns, and rode a bus from town to town calling Minor League Hockey Games. I did things to be the wild card. Now, I play things close to the vest. I’m holding on too tight. I need to turn in my wings. I feel like Cougar in “Top Gun.” And you want to know why? Because of the happenings on July 10th, 2004.
That was the night that I became a daddy, and almost became a widow. My first was born, beautiful, healthy, and I was on top of the world. At the same time, my first and only love was fighting for her life. Delaney, the scrapper that she is, caused some serious internal problems for the toughest woman on the planet aka her mommy aka Extraordinary Mommy. One minute we’re celebrating our first little miracle. The next minute I’m praying for a miracle that my wife will come back from emergency surgery with enough blood inside of her to see her little girl.
Lucky for me, this story has a happy ending. The doctors were able to finally stop the bleeding, and my beautiful bride made a full recovery after many weeks of rest.
So, that brings me to today. Each time that I’m confronted with another major life decision, I think back to 7/10/04. I thank my lucky stars for the conclusion to that highly stressful day, and think what I need to do in order to take advantage of that day each and every day thereafter. Yes, I put way too much pressure on myself. That’s my biggest problem. I’m trying to live the rest of my life as a “thank you note” for the present that I was given on that wonderful Saturday, 6 years ago.
There’s a lesson here, and I’m still trying to learn it, but I do know this, I love my wife, I love my daughter, and I love my son more than any love that I know that I ever had, so for that, I’m thankful. And, since they’re all healthy and tucked into bed, then that makes today, May 23rd, 2010 one of the best days of my life since July 10th, 2004.
PS…Sorry to be so serious with this Daddy Diary. The witty, funny ones will return next time around. As my 3yeard old says “I had a hard day.”
-Daddy
Joy in the “did not’s”
Sure, it is the little things - those sterling moments etched on your heart…leaving the same mark a Sharpie would on your arm that keep us going, remind us what matters, why we are here and how important it is to relish the journey.
But every know and then, those moments shift to the left….like the clouds the small dude is always watching….hoping to recognize the shape of a goat, a baseball field, or an ice cream cone. And when they shift, you stare into nothing.
And nothing can be great.
There are a handful of ‘nothings‘ or ‘did not’s‘ that defined my weekend.
Cooper did not hit his head again. Therefore he did not require staples, a trip to the emergency room or the requisite waking every hour over night.
Delaney did not have any type of croup attack - and therefore was not up all night coughing.
I did not have to get up at the moment the sun slithered into my bedroom.
My husband did not wake up to the puppy barking overnight (for the first time since December 25th).
My children did not make their way into our room over night, so I did not wake up to a foot in my kidney. (or in my face)
Delaney did not cry when I removed her earrings for soccer. And she did not cry at the end of the game because she didn’t score.
So what did we do? Everything else.
And it was good.
Life Lessons Learned over Ice Cream
You know it is during the simplest of life’s moments that the most profound lessons are often discovered (or re-discovered).
This was just the case today while I sat watching my son eat ice cream. This was his ‘reward’ for being brave - having just had staples removed from the back of his head. (The result of a glass table vs. Coop moment while I was in Vancouver. If you think the phone call sharing the news might have caused a small heart attack….you are correct.)
It was as I was mesmerized by Coop’s joy and fixation that the lessons popped into my head one at a time.
Savor. Savor life, savor food, savor relationships. Coop tackled his cone one. lick. at. a. time. In between he would stop to look…making sure he wasn’t missing a drop. If only I savored every meal, every moment like this.
Family should never be far from your mind. As the small dude savored the creamy moments, a ‘look’ developed in his eyes. He tilted his head and said, “we have to get something to take home for my sister.”
This also leads to lesson #3 - even when I feel as though I might drown from the guilt I feel - worrying if I am equipping my children with the necessary tools to be powerful adults, I get a big, “would you relax already?” in the form of a 3 year old who I have clearly taught compassion and a sharing heart.
Stop eating when you aren’t hungry anymore. Seriously? This shouldn’t be a surprise….and yet…. The kid ate about 3/4 of the ice cream cone and decided he was done. So he stopped. Me? I MUST.FINISH. Changing that immediately.
Smile, at everyone. I try to do this, but there is something so innocent when done by a child - and even better? The reactions he gets from strangers. He smiles, they smile. So, if I smile, do you smile?
The quality of our time together matters as much as the amount of time. It was more important to Cooper than I was THERE, right then. That I wasn’t multi-tasking, answering a call or email, or on twitter. That I was staring at him while he ate and laughing. He didn’t care that we were only there for 30 minutes. He just cared that it was ‘Mommy and Cooper’ time. I may not be able to sit and stare at my kids all day, every day, soaking up their zest for life, but I can make time to do it on a regular basis.
For me - having this time to just observe my son, well…..it was priceless. It was just what I needed to refocus on what is most important in my world…my family and the joy they inject into my days.
Free thinking
I have so much to say.
And yet, I still need time to process it all before I can share it.
Should I talk about the amazing time we just had at Disney World? How my kids couldn’t stop grinning and squealing that pure-kid squeal that could only emanate from someone so small and filled with joy?
Should I share the wisdom I learned from Guy Kawasaki or Chris Brogan? Maxine Clark or Kathy Ireland?
What about the family time? The lessons I gleaned from my kids and stellar husband?
Ohhh…and the videos….sigh. There is much editing to be done.
Not to mention, I still have thoughts to share on Blissdom.
What about the fact that I am heading to the OLYMPIC GAMES IN VANCOUVER in less than 84 hours to act as a correspondent for Procter and Gamble? I am over the moon….AND, I have this amazing interview to share with you - I talked to 2002 Women’s Bobsled Gold Medalist Vonetta Flowers and we chatted about what it is like to be an Olympian. I cannot wait. I am overjoyed.
Does it make sense that my head is spinning? Or that I am exhausted and just really want to snuggle with my husband (who has likely fallen asleep while I’ve written this short note)
And….. I still have to SHOP AND PACK for Vancouver - because, really - who has Olympic Games worthy gear just hanging around at their house? Clearly not me.
I have missed just sharing from my heart - and that will start again tomorrow.
Good night, friends…..
Our Baseball Obsession
I think it would be fair to say my family is a little bit obsessed with baseball - specifically, the St. Louis Cardinals. My husband had to recite the inscription on Stan Musial’s statue before he was allowed into the stadium when he was THREE.
I think you could say that obsession is being passed down. You’ve seen my husband’s Daddy Diaries, right?
The kids have been going to games since they were itty bitty. (This picture is from 2 years ago) And tonight we are going, as a family, for the first time this season.
The kids are beyond excited. I’m having to convince Coop he REALLY doesn’t want to wear Daddy’s catcher’s helmet to the game.
This is him wearing it last year. He puts it on multiple times throughout the day. He also greets his Daddy every day wearing a glove and carrying a ball and bat - his question, “Daddy - pay basbol?” He asks first thing in the morning and the second he comes home from work.
I think Daddy succeeded in passing on his love of the game. Fortunately he is growing into the gear a little bit and has mastered running the bases and hitting the ball. Good thing - since he plays daily!
Maybe we can catch a foul ball tonight….fingers crossed!
Music Lovers Giveaway - IPod Shuffle + Childen’s Ziggy Marley CD
You can’t help but tap your feet and sway along with Ziggy Marley’s brand new children’s CD! This is his first foray into the kid’s arena and just for fun - he brought a few ‘pros’ along for the ride: Jack Johnson, Laurie Berkner, Elizabeth Mitchell and Jamie Lee Curtis are only a few of the artists featured on the CD Family Time.
Since I was given this CD, the kids haven’t stopped asking for it!
I used to listen to both Ziggy Marley and Bob Marley growing up - but not in a children’s format….I imagine many of you did too. In addition to some well known classics like “This Train” and “Hold Him Joe” Ziggy has written many original songs on this release which are endearing tributes to his family with many sage words of wisdom for kids.
“Growing up, music was an important part of my childhood. I see it being just as important in my children and all children’s growth and development, to help them grow with open minds and open hearts… This record represents my daily family life and is inspired by my three-year-old daughter Judah and baby Gideon. It was a joy to make and opened up new avenues in my creativity.”
One (1) Grand Prize Winner receives:
- iPod Shuffle (1GB)
- Copy of ‘Family Time’ CD
Three (3) First Prize winners receive:
- Copy of ‘Family Time’ CD
To enter to win, comment on this post - tell me who you think would most love this CD - a family member, a friend’s child, etc - AND, if you can, your very favorite Ziggy Marley tune.
For an additional entry, twitter about this contest: Want the chance to win a brand new IPod Shuffle + Ziggy Marley’s new kid’s CD, Family Time? Enter here: http://bit.ly/hK3Oi
Family Time will be released on Tuesday, May 5th. Proceeds from the sale of the CD will benefit Chepstowe Basic School in Port Antonio, Jamaica. Ziggy’s charity, U.R.G.E (Unlimited Resources Giving Enlightenment)started helping this school in part because it is so poor and in such disrepair that they have been unable to keep up to code on their own and be an officially part of the school system. U.R.G.E is trying to get the school back up to code by training the teachers and renovating the building with the help of the local childen’s parents. There is still much work to be done.
Contest runs from May 4th until Monday, June 1st.
Enjoy and Good luck!
ExtraordinaryMommy.com is not responsible for prizes that are shipped from outside vendors or sponsors. All entries will be pooled together and one (1) Grand Prize Winner + three (3) Frist Prize Winners will be drawn at random. The winner will have two calendar days to reply via email. Unclaimed prizes will be placed for availability to newly chosen winners after that time. Giveaway is open to all U.S. residents only, must be at least 18 years old to enter. One entry per person, entries accepted through June 1, 2009 ending at exactly 11:59 midnight CDT .
