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Carey Schumacher - Barefoot Memories
Find Inspiration in the Extraordinary Mommys around us. We are stronger than we ever could have imagined.
Brina Hartman counts her blessings every day. She has two beautiful children. But
unlike many mothers, Brina has no fear of losing either of them.
Clearly a fear of loss….of sickness, of accidents, typically comes with the territory. Not in Brina’s world. “I don’t seem to have the same fear many of my mom friends have,” Brina says in her typical matter-of-fact fashion.
When you have experienced the pain and joy of motherhood that Brina has, it is easy to see how you would have to adjust your perspective in order to live your daily life.
In the past 7 years, Brina has been pregnant 5 times. Before that, she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and told she was infertile. “Being told you might never conceive is a horrible thing to hear,” Brina explains. “I felt so inadequate and useless. I worried my husband would be better with someone else that could give him the children he deserved.”
Brina’s husband, Eric, didn’t agree. The couple worked with a Reproductive Endocrinologist and could barely contain their joy when they got a “thumbs up” in the form of a positive pregnancy test. Their joy, however, was short lived. Brina’s body would not allow her to carry 4 babies. By the 14th week of her pregnancy, she was only pregnant with twins.
Additional complications forced Brina off her feet. The extra rest didn’t help. At about 21 weeks, the water for one of the babies broke and contractions started. Medicine administered failed to save that baby. Jacob was stillborn.
Unfortunately, the hope Brina and Eric were clinging to for their remaining child was short-lived. Though baby Emme remained in utero until 24 weeks, it was necessary to deliver her by emergency C-Section. She was 1 pound 8 ounces. Brina remembers, “I reached my hand into the incubator and she grabbed my finger! It literally took my breath away. I choked. I was not prepared for her to do that.”
Tragically, at 14 days, Emme’s lung ruptured and doctors couldn’t save her.
One pregnancy, 4 babies. In a matter of only 7 months, Brina and Eric had experienced the high of expecting parents, only to be left with no children.
Then, the Miracle began.
Within only a few months, Brina was pregnant again. NATURALLY. She explains her surprise, “When I found out I was pregnant (with Quinn), I didn’t truly believe it at
first.” She wasn’t even sure she wanted to try again after her recent losses. However, in no time at all, Brina had bonded with the baby she was carrying.
After 5 months of bedrest, Quinn was born 7 weeks early. He is, even now, perfect and healthy.
With the desire for another child spurring them on, Brina and Eric tried again, only two suffer through 2 miscarriages.
But the blessings continued.
As he approached his 4th birthday, Quinn became a big brother. Chloe joined the Hartman family after another 5 months of bedrest. She, too, is perfect.
“Miracle is the perfect way to describe my family. I look at my kids now and I truly can’t believe they are here and MINE!!”
With counseling, Brina is still working through the pain of her initial losses. Though she says, ‘you never ‘get over it’”, she also never loses sight of what is right in front of her.
Brina encourages other woman experiencing this same type of difficulty with pregnancy and even with loss, to do their best to remain positive and to rely on others who are experiencing the same challenges. “It helped me so much to know I wasn’t alone.”
For Brina, the saving grace was a group of families who has lost one, more than one, or all, of a multiple pregnancy. It was called CLIMB. You can find them online at http://www.climb-support.org.
She also says she got a lot of support from LAMBS on yahoo groups. It is an online group for people who have lost multiples. In addtion, Brina has also set up a website listing links to all of the sites and groups she found most helpful: http://www.freewebs.com/climbstl/links.
You can read more details about Brina’s family at www.ericandbrina.com
Read about December's Inspiration, San Diego Photographer, Carey Schumacher
