I Believe In Picking My Battles


What do you see in this picture? I see a plethora of stories, of emotions…. but then again… I know exactly what was happening at this very moment.   I see a freckled little girl, clearly in need of snuggling and a mommy willing to tackle that need.  Mommy is focused…  Little one is trying to keep her mind off whatever is bothering her right now.

You know what else I see?  That little one has her thumb in her mouth.  And what you, the viewer, don’t know: thumb sucking is this sweet girl’s one major vice. And yet it only happens when she is a) truly exhausted or b) when she really, really needs to comfort herself – as she does right now.

In this picture, we are waiting for a visit to the doctor.  Delaney first jammed her thumb playing basketball on Thursday evening and then re injured the same hand playing soccer on Saturday morning.  The good news: It wasn’t broken, but it was tender enough that the doctor requested an X-ray.

At the moment this picture was taken, Delaney was hurting and in need of ‘comfort’.  The thumb she injured was… no joke…. her ‘favorite thumb’…. so the thumb she is sucking in this picture?  Her other thumb.

I’m not a fan of the thumb sucking.  We’ve worked to get her to stop.  And quite honestly, she doesn’t do it that often anymore.  But in this moment, I made a choice.

I believe in picking my battles.

I may want the ‘thumb sucking habit’ to break.  But in this moment, I chose her comfort.

As a mom – I could literally spend ALL DAY fighting about what my small people choose to wear, how they style their hair, clean rooms and who fed the dog last…. but I choose my battles instead.

I make manners and school work, respecting adults and being kind the priorities they must live.

What do you choose?

  • Marty Coleman

    I always chose to stand over character, manners, kindness and integrity. I didn’t bother fighting over most elements of style or culture.  Why lose a relationship over hair styles, right?

  • Frelle

    Beautiful insight, and I’m sorry your sweet girl is in pain.  Picking your battles is a fine line.  Sometimes things are strictly off limits and you work to enforce… yet there are moments like this where you know that grace is called for.  I’m glad you gave us this glimpse into your life and into your heart.  *HUG*

  • http://blog.nerdfamily.com/ Jacqueline Cromwell

    I try not to nit pick my kids. I don’t care so much about their hair, usually, but if I asked you to do it (or anything) and you decide to not obey. Well that is my pet issue. If you talk to me about it that is one thing but to not obey, not cool

  • Danielle Smith

    I agree with you on that – I don’t like disobediance either – and my small people know it.  With them being 5 and 7, it is something we definitely work on, but absolutely a pet peeve.

  • Danielle Smith

    Thank you so much my friend – she is doing much better.  I appreciate the kind words.  I do know there is a fine line… but the more ‘adept’ I become at parenting (As if that is even possible – ha!), the more calm I am about the small things.  At least, that is what I keep telling myself :)  xoxo

  • Danielle Smith

    Marty – you are always the voice of reason – I love that.  I agree with you and this is just how I am trying to raise my small people.  I’m not always right and I won’t always have all the answers, but it won’t be for lack of effort.  Thank you for encourgaing me.

  • http://twitter.com/ThumbuddyToLove Andrea Van Ness

    HI- Thumb sucking does not have to be a battle. Have you heard of Thumbuddy To Love? It helps kids stop thumb sucking in an easy and gentle way. You can get it on Amazon or thumbuddytolove.com

  • Leahsthoughts

    I can totally relate! Sophie is a thumb-sucker who also only sucks when she has her trusty blankie with her. We were able to curb the habit by telling her blankie stays in her room unless at night. She’s done amazing. And even though she still sucks it at night, I’m just not willing to break her of the habit at night. It’s just not worth it. She’ll stop when she can. Good for you for trusting your gut on this one.