I Believe In: Letting Your Kids Try.

January 9, 2012 by 7 Comments

I think a lot about my small people: Who they are growing up to be and how I can be guiding them.  Am I always shaping them with the love I intend, or do I let life, impatience and my own to-do list get in the way?

Last week, I shared my Beliefs for 2012.  Now, each week, I will begin to share with you, my beliefs about parenting.  These are the premises that guide who I am as a mother and who I hope my small people will grow up to be. These are things to do with your children.  

This one requires throwing cleanliness and patience out the window.

I Believe in Letting Them Try.  I Believe In Telling Them I Will Clean Up When They Do.

I want them to make the effort.  I want them to believe they CAN.  And?  I want to reward that effort.

This picture is my small people making their own lunches this morning.  They chose to do it on their own.  In fact, they surprised me with it.  They made a huge mess.  They licked the peanut butter spoon.  We were even running a little late.  But I loved it.  Because they can do it.

And somewhere along the way, I taught them they could.  And when I told them I’d clean up?

MAGIC.

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  • http://lifeinthemarriedlane.com/ Rivki Silver

    I love this, and try to remember it.  I like things to be organized, orderly, everything motherhood isn’t (most of the time, at least).  But when I encourage my toddler to do something on his own, the look of joy and satisfaction on his face is worth every mess and delay.  He positively glows!

  • Danielle Smith

    I so understand!!  Letting go can be such a challenge.  Ohhh the MESS, the CHAOS!  But you are so right – they do just glow, don’t they?  And that makes it worth it!

  • http://www.yTravelBlog.com/ yTravelBlog

    I agree, this is the best way to empower your children!  It teaches them how powerful they are and how great it feels to accomplish things on their own.

    I always encourage my daughter to try things on her own, now she is so independent she won’t take any help at all, which can be a little painful when we are in a hurry and me doing up her shoes would be so much faster.

    When she turns to me and says she can’t (or even when any of my students did) I would turn the can’t around by saying, “Maybe, but you can try. Let’s see how you go.”

  • Danielle Smith

    I love turning ‘can’t’ into ‘maybe you can try’…. we try to do the same thing here, but you are so right….  it can be a challenge – especially when you are in a hurry (which for me, feels like all the time) It can be touch, but it is so worth it.

  • K2mkting

    Love this.  I have told both my boys that cooking means making a mess, and then cleaning it up.  They repeat it after me, and then we do it together.  It’s awesome.  Especially when you wake up one Saturday morning to the smell of fresh waffles and walk into an unholy mess . . . with a smile on your face!

  • Danielle Smith

    Ohhh – I LOVE the visual of this!   I can picture you waking up to it on a Saturday morning…. how beautiful! Just perfection.

  • http://www.erinmargolin.com/ Erin Margolin

    I need to relax more and let my kids do this. They help me some, but if I let them totally do it, we’d be late. And I’m Type A. But given my new year’s promise to myself….maybe I need to let go a little more. Go with the flow more. Love the photo and the ideas behind this post, Danielle!!! xoxox