I have this glorious small girl. She is divine. And freckled. And kind-hearted and so very funny and sweet. She has so many extraordinary qualities. She is only 8 years old and yet, I find myself wishing so many things for her. It is hard for me to imagine that she has only been around for a 5th of my life.
I want her to grow up to be strong willed, full of intention and capable of fighting for what she believes in. I want her kind heart to be her guide, I want her to follow her dreams and I want her to continue to need me as she does now…. though I know those days are numbered. I’m going to cling to them as long as I can.
But I realize I need to change a little something…. I am always pointing out that she is shy. When she hesitates in front of adults…when she doesn’t jump into conversation or hesitates to share her delightful spirit, I have a tendency to jump in with an explanation: “She is my shy one… Coop is the loud one….the vociferous sibling, the child who can’t wait to jump in to the conversation…. Delaney is more reserved…. she is quiet.”
Aren’t I just MAKING IT SO by reiterating this ‘facts’ every time? As part of my quest to be a better version of me, I recognize that I need to let my children be…. I need to embrace all of Delaney’s beautiful qualities and stop making excuses for her. I need to stop explaining her personality as though there is a flaw – and simply let her be. She is beautiful and glorious, intelligent and delightful. And nothing makes me happier than when someone says she looks like me. The idea that this extraordinary little girl has grabbed any portion of her light from me is enough to keep me going until the end of my days.
Day 4 of my 90 Day quest – I will aim to just ‘let it be’ – my small girl, my small dude, my family and me. I can’t change what is already living its own version of perfection. I need to embrace it.