On Friday night of our cruise, Cooper went to sleep with a bit of a cough. Both he and the small girl snuggled in to bed on either side of me. This is a fairly common occurrence and quite honestly, not the most comfortable of sleeping arrangements, but it matters to them, so I (probably too often) let it stand. In this case, with Coop feeling under the weather, I was more apt to let it slide. About 2:45am I woke up, stifling and cramped. My attempt to move to the other bed in our stateroom jostled my small dude a little and woke him.
He tried to breathe.
And he couldn’t.
I mean he really couldn’t. Every attempt to take in oxygen was met with a rattling wheeze or a painful seal bark. Jeff left the room to get him some cool water, hoping to calm his vocal chords. He put his head on my chest, but though I kept telling myself he would be fine, I could only handle listening to him struggle for 30 seconds. He clearly wasn’t getting the air he needed.
By the time Jeff returned to the room, I was dressed, standing in the hallway, holding my small dude. I hated the idea of taking him anywhere, but I knew we needed to take him to the on-board medic. Jeff grabbed a sleeping Delaney and we headed down a few floors.
His little arms wrapped around my neck and he burrowed his sweet face in to me as he struggled. It hurt my heart. By the time the nurse checked his oxygen level, he was at 87%. Small people shouldn’t drop below the low 90’s – or so we were told. In an hour’s time, treatment with a nebulizer and the cooler air of the medical area opened his airways. Some additional medicine helped him to sleep for a few more hours when we returned to our room….
His cough hung on a little, but he has been fine since. And he’s never had an experience like this before.
I realize as I work on the things that I know will make me better in this 90 Day Challenge, that it isn’t only about feeling physically better about myself. It isn’t only about exercising and taking care of my heart and lungs, about eating better (something I will be tackling…sometime) but about my mental energy, about kindness, and about who I am as a mother, friend and individual.
If this wasn’t a reminder to trust my gut, I don’t know what is. I just need to do it every day. Not just sometimes. And not only when it comes to my instincts as a mother. I need to allow my instincts about work, about people and life decisions to guide me as well. And, of course, that requires me to BREATHE and embrace it, right?