It is funny that even a few days in to this 90 day challenge, I am learning some things about myself. Clearly, I don’t have 90 separate things written down in preparation for everything I would like to adjust along the way (I might be a little concerned if I was able to easily come up with a list of that many things I needed to change about myself). I am hopeful that I will recognize both big and small things as I a move through my days. I figured that at times, one would lead to another and that by being intentional in this process, I would be able to see my strengths and weaknesses through a different lens.
Oh, how I can.
I knew that my goal for day five was actually quite simple: breathe. But in a deliberate way. A million years ago, I planned weddings, and I would always advise my brides and grooms to find five to tens minutes at some point on their wedding day to stop, hold hands, take a deep breath and simply observe everything as it was happening around them. Take mental pictures. Allow themselves to breathe in the moments and absorb the beauty that surrounds them.
Since I have a tendency to rush through my days, to make lists of things to do, to be concentrating on ‘what comes next’ and to fall asleep remembering the things I didn’t accomplish…. I wanted this day (and, truly every day going forward) to have new mantra: breathe.
So, I did.
I took a deep breath as I watched my small people play. I took a deep breath, kept my eyes open and hugged. I took a deep breath as I talked to friends. I took a deep breath as I watched the ocean float by. I even took a deep breath as I took a look at the work I needed to do.
And I took a deep breath as I thought about my goal for day six – which turned out to be perfectly timed: Let it go.
Like you, I can’t control everything. Unfortunately. Or maybe, fortunately. As a general rule, I don’t like it when things are out of my hands…when they don’t go according to plan. This is a struggle for me. And one I need to let go. This 90 day challenge requires me to post every day. Except when I can’t. Because I’m on a beautiful, glorious cruise ship in the middle of the ocean, and sometimes my timing to get online doesn’t coincide with the Internet’s desire to allow me online.
As much as I wanted to post… I had to Let It Go. I knew I was still challenging myself. I knew I was still holding myself accountable and I knew I would still eventually be here to share.
I’m meditating. I’m taking the stairs. I’m letting my small girl be her own beautiful self. I’m incorporating these little steps each day of my journey to be a better me. It isn’t easy, but I’m learning.
And I’m grateful for the support you have shared… thank you.