A Letter to my Daughter on her Birthday
She has magic in her eyes.
Do you see it? The wealth of possibilities just bubbling over? She believes absolutely anything is possible. She thinks I can do anything….and is just beginning to question if I will be around forever.
She makes me want to wear a cape, to sweep her away from any tough situation, to wrap her in my arms and keep her safe. Everyday.
This weekend she turned six.
It sounds so trite to say the last 2,190 days have been blinked away, but it most defintiely feels as though they have. I blinked and she was born. I blinked and she could walk. I turned around to cook dinner and she was talking. I stopped for 15 minutes to have another baby and she could sing, turn a cartwheel and play soccer. I ran to the grocery store and she up and graduated from Kindergarten. (damn grocery store)
Of course, what I’m neglecting here, are the million hugs and “I love you, Mommys”. Each one of those is etched into my soul and though they are fleeting - they are the most special because they mean she feels loved, she feels cared for and respected.
I have tried and failed no less than a dozen times this week to write down how I feel about my daughter, Delaney. This is what I finally have to say…..
A quick note to my birthday girl:
My Sweet Girl,
When you were born, I was so taken by your dark hair and those chocolate eyes, I couldn’t bear to look away. I forced myself to let other people hold you, if only to spread the joy that seeped from your pores.
I now find myself having a similar experience. While you have grown from a helpless infant to an ’I can do it’ toddling toddler to the independent little treasure you are now, I have often held my breath, hoping I would know when to hold your hand and when to stand behind you with a little push.
When I look into your eyes, I see possibilities. You truly believe ANYTHING can happen.
And that is magic….
The kind of magic I will bottle and do my best to sprinkle over you as you sleep each and every night. You can’t put a price on that kind of faith in the world.
During this last year - your sixth, I have seen the most significant changes in you - more than walking, more than talking….. As these are tremendous milestones, they seem rooted in the physical. What I am witnessing now is the growth of your mind, of your heart. You are learning compassion and empathy. You are learning to give, to hurt, to be you.
I am so incredibly proud of the little girl who couldn’t come up with what she wanted for her birthday - who didn’t even ask ALL DAY when she could open presents and the one who was overjoyed to receive a small piggy bank, a few books and a Kidz Bop CD. I am in awe of the sweet girl, once so timid, who made a huge birthday invite list - unwilling to leave anyone out and who actually took charge while her friends were here rather than waiting for someone else to step up.
You are this beautiful little soul. From you I have learned patience, I have experienced family, and I have evolved. I am a better person for having you in my life.
Happy, Happy Birthday Baby Girl…..wishing you a million days that reflect the possibilities you see.
I love you with all my heart.
Love, Mommy
SOBCon 2010: What I Know For Sure
Five hours of silence. That’s the length of a car ride between Chicago and St. Louis.
That is simply the beginning of the stretch of time I will need to process the wisdom and heart that hugged me this weekend.
I am a new kid on this social media block….so, I walked in to SOBCon knowing I have a lot to learn. But I’m also smart enough to know that the learning really shouldn’t ever stop.
I took no pictures. And no videos. (except for some fantastic karaoke with @PhilGerb and @unmarketing ).
I just wanted to BE. To listen, To ABSORB. To meditate on the brilliance. To decide which of the gems applied most to me. Is it silly (and decidedly girly) to admit I had revelations that almost brought me to tears?
It was magic. And learning. And bonding. And deciding.
I tweeted quite a bit as I listened…..hoping to share some of the moments that touched me. You can see the whole SOBCon stream here.
As I settle back in to my life, (You know, the one as a mom, wife, and working-my-tail-off-gal) and prepare to move forward, these are the messages I will repeat to myself….this is what I now know for sure:
“Fear is the mind killer. The opposite of fear is trust….. If we can’t trust ourselves, who can we trust? I invite you to set aside your fear – those are the kinds of leaders we need now.” ~LizStrauss
“We don’t need dreamers, we need leaders: People who have faced their fear and moved on” ~Liz Strauss
“You don’t want to build a coliseum - you want to raise a barn. It isn’t, ‘if you build it, they will come….’ it is, ‘if they build it, they will bring their friends, they will own it, protect you, care for you” ~Liz Strauss
“Find a sweet spot between viable niche and the ability to solve a problem that makes you come alive” ~Jonathan Fields
“Every person is the person who can set the mission and the vision. You are in control of how you accomplish tasks and whether you choose to come alive.” ~Jonathan Fields
“The Moment you choose not to execute, you fail.” ~Jonathan Fields
“Keep the bigger vision in the back of your head, but commit to taking action every day.” ~Jonathan Fields
“How do you know it is going to be a success? You DON’T. Just do it!” ~Dave Taylor
“You need to define failure and success. What happens when you do succeed??? Are you afraid of success?” Wendy Piersall
“You don’t need permission from others to follow your dreams” LOVE THIS (~someone brilliant)
“It isn’t if the glass is half full, or half empty, but WHAT is in the glass?” ~Hank Wasiak
“Create your signature presence - substance, sizzle, soul.” ~Hank Wasiak
“Be a vulnerable admirer - admire the hell out of people. Mentors matter - be a mentor and find yours - imitate shamelessly and often.” ~Hank Wasiak
“Power is who you are. NOT what you have.” ~Hank Wasiak
“Forget Perfection. Pursue Progress.” ~Hank Wasiak
“Talk, talk, talk about what you want to do. At some point, SHUT UP and DO IT!” ~Sheila Scarborough
“The narrower your target, the wider your opportunity.” Becky McCray
“If people don’t know who you are, they aren’t going to trust you.” ~Chris Garrett
“What is your elevator speech? If you don’t have a way to tell people what you do, GET ONE!” ~Shelly Kramer
“Thinking about doing social media? Be there. Prepare to spend time everyday. Spend 2-5 hours a week just listening online.” ~Amber Naslund
“As a leader you have to show your passion and SHOUT it from the rooftops.” ~Terry Starbucker
“Stop thinking ‘fear of failure’, start thinking ‘fear of not learning’” ~Scott Porad
“If you have a vision, you have to be adaptable and flexible.” ~Scott Porad
“Trust = visibility + credibility + relevance, divided by real time.” ~Rick Murray
“If the only reason you can think of NOT to do something is because you are scared, then you need to DO IT.” ~Steve Farber
“Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do.” Steve Farber
“The OS!M (Oh Sh*t Moment) - a natural thing for every time you take a risk or make a commitment.” ~Steve Farber
“The Greatest Leaders make others greater than themselves.” ~Steve Farber
” Stop collecting recipes, start making food - open a restaurant!” ~Chris Brogan
“Rule of Success: Be anywhere. Be anywhen.” ~Chris Brogan
“Understanding yourself as a story is the only way you’ll know where you are going next.” ~Chris Brogan
“Persistence overcomes resistance.” ~JayJayFrench
“You build your network before you need it. They will take care of you. Your community will always take care of you.” ~Liz Strauss
When I walked into the room at SOBCon, I was nervous. I had butterflies. I’ve always believed that anything worth doing will give you that feeling. It is a reminder of the potential greatness of the experience.
I figured this event would be all business with a side of people. But in fact, it was all people, all love, with a side of business.
Liz Strauss and Terry Starbucker made sure of it.
Now, it is up to me.
I know this for sure.
Taking Zumba - Conquering A Fear
So, I’ve been taking the healthy road - exercising, eating well and all that jazz. I started the journey a few weeks ago, but know I need to change things up - recipes, exercise, etc to keep myself motivated.
But I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll one simple class would take on my psyche.
As part of quest to infuse the weight loss process with diversity, I decided to take a Zumba Class. Sounds simple enough, right?
Not for me. I was almost in tears by the end of the class and didn’t trust myself to respond when my husband asked me if I was ok.
In order to explain why in the world I just might cry after a class like this: (You only need to see the first minute to get a feel - and yes, our instructor was JUST that good)
I have to explain a few things about me.
- I have always wanted to dance.
- We could never afford dance classes or cheerleading.
- To this day, I am afraid of most sports. As a kid I was injured too many times - broken knee, sprained wrist, broken fingers, knocked out tooth.
- I am NOT athletic.
- I am NOT coordinated.
So, I am therefore also nearly paralyzed by a fear of looking like a complete jack-ass…. I was the kid who dropped the ball. I was the one people snickered about.
Enter Zumba. It is a dance/cardio/exercise class - apparently one with tremendous mass appeal.I’ve been watching the class from the door for weeks - trying to find that little something in my gut that will motivate me to actually open the door and enter.
I found it last week, but the class was full.
This week, I arrived earlier. And got the last ticket.
The girl teaching the class is breathtaking. She is charming - I’m tempted to hug her at the beginning of the class and warn her of my inexperience. She’s wearing Zumba attire (I was not aware there was such a thing) and the girl can DANCE.
Me? Notsomuch. I was one of three new people in the class. The other two spent 10+ years as dancers.
Again, me? No dancing background.
The Zumba-sized weight sitting on my chest as I write this is serving to remind me just how deep these emotions go for me. I want chocolate to calm down. Counter-productive, I know.
I’m deep breathing and drinking water with lemon instead.
Every time I found myself lost in the moves, proud that I was at least keeping up, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. To say I was cringe-worthy doesn’t do it justice. I am awkward. I look gangly and pale. I’m wearing a hat and keep knocking it when I raise my arms.
The instructor is graceful. I am intense, frowning as I try to follow along. I laugh inwardly when she mentions ‘attitude’. My attitude is insecure with a side of clumsy. Her moves are fluid. Mine are robotic and artless.
I am time-warped to age 13. And I feel OLD.
I find myself sneaking glances at the clock behind me. Will this mental torture ever end?
The Barbie-like instructor singles me out, guiding me with one of the 87 steps she can see I have not mastered. I am grateful but embarrassed.
Mercifully, the class winds down.
I leave, struggling to lift my head, refusing to make eye-contact with the others in the class. I’m afraid of the sympathetic half-smiles that will send me on my way.
My psyche took a beating. That trip down memory lane was altogether unwanted.
But my body feels good.
I have always wanted to dance….and I can’t be any worse than I was during my first class, right?
I’m going back tomorrow. (And I’m not going to look in the mirror)
Ending Childhood Hunger locally and nationally
When I am hungry I eat. I head to the pantry. I open the fridge and I scavenge…a bite of this, a nibble of that.
My kids have the same luxury.
That’s right – luxury.
They beg for goldfish….barter for string cheese…lobby for just something out of the candy bowl.
When you consider that there are nearly 17 million kids (that’s one in four)* here in the United States….how could you call it anything other than a luxury?
Let’s make that number LOCAL… I live in St. Louis, Missouri.
I am one of 5.9 million people who live here in the Show-Me State. Of that number, 24% are under the age of 18 (census). That means 1.4 million children live in Missouri.
20% are hungry. TWENTY-PERCENT.
That means there are 283,200 hungry kids right here.
Picture those goldfish dripping with gold, each string of string cheese ripping free with jewels attached….and candy? Well….that is the platinum of food – and it isn’t even good for them.
It makes my heart hurt.
Since I’ve heard the statistics…I have found myself counting children everywhere I go.
At the park….8 kids on the playground. Two might be hungry.
In the parking lot of any school……hundreds hopping out of their cars….dozens might not have had breakfast and may not have lunch.
Childhood Hunger Facts:
- A child doesn’t have to be homeless to be hungry
- Hunger affects kids you don’t know, and kids you do
- Some states have a child hunger rate as high as 25%
- The official term is ‘food insecurity’ – which means these kids (and naturally many adults) live – day to day either hungry or in fear of starvation.
I have told you about my experience as a child. Now that I know the signs, I know I went to school with kids who were hungry.
The difference between now and then? I now know I can help. And so can you.
ConAgra Foods has teamed with Feeding America to create a campaign to fight this insidious problem.
Childhood Hunger Ends Here.
Easily the best part of the campaign is simply how easy it is to make a difference.
The Small Steps to Ending Childhood Hunger:
- Join Con Agra’s Facebook Fan Page for updates:
- Follow the Twitter stream
- Purchase Participating Con Agra Foods - for every one of these foods purchased - 1 meal will be donated to Feeding America to provide up to 2.5 million meals to Feeding America.
- Host a local rally to fight Childhood Hunger.
It is easier than you think.
- Turn an existing local event - a community garage sale, school bake sale, church rummage sale, carnival or lemonade stand into a Hunger Ending Rally.
- Register online.
- Receive a rally toolkit - including a banner, four posters, a lapel pin, coupons to share and a rally guide/information kit.
- Give the proceeds, or a portion of them to Feeding America through the website. (As long as you donate online, the proceeds will stay in your local community.
I will be hosting a rally of my own and have many ideas spinning in my head about the best way to reach the largest number of people with this message.
People need to know CHILDREN SHOULD NEVER GO HUNGRY.
More than anything - I love the idea of kids helping kids.
What would be the easiest way for you and your kids to get involved? Would it be a lemonade stand? A bake sale? A food drive? A family dinner where you ask relatives to help?
I would love to hear your suggestions.
Come on….you know you have one.
In the coming weeks, I will be highlighting people who are making a difference. I would love to showcase your fight against Childhood Hunger.
** Source: USDA Economic Research Service
**Participating Con Agra Food Brands: Healthy Choice, Manwich, Orville Redenbacher, Marie Callendar’s, Peter Pan Peanut Butter, Chef Boyardee and Banquet.
Fighting Childhood Hunger
In Southern California, it doesn’t get that cold. But he always wore a coat. And his hair was rarely combed.
He carried a reused brown lunch bag with him, crumpled from being gripped by too-tight hands. There wasn’t ever much in that bag. Half a sandwich, maybe. But he never, ever complained.
When you are in third grade, you notice the lack of showering, and maybe that he kept his coat wrapped tightly around him, but it isn’t until you are older that you realize Thomas* was hungry. Really hungry.
I wish I’d left an apple at his desk every day. I wish I’d stuffed the outer pockets of his backpack with grapes and granola bars and whatever else I had in my lunchbox. You know I probably complained…wishing I had cookies instead.
I bet Thomas* would have been grateful for any of it.
I may not have been able to make a difference then. But I can now.
Thomas* and millions, that’s right, MILLIONS of children living in the neighborhoods around us in the United States live with food insecurity daily. What is ‘food insecurity’ you ask? It means they are hungry or in danger of starving. Many don’t know where their next meal is coming from - or if it is coming at all.
Almost 17 million kids in this very country of ours are at risk for hunger.
That means ONE CHILD IN FOUR IS HUNGRY.**
Maybe a kid on your street? One sitting next to your child in class? A little girl you see at the park?
Hungry. For me and many of you…..hunger is a cue to walk to the kitchen or pantry and get something to eat. An apple, a cookie, last night’s leftovers. For these kids that is not an option.
And that is NOT OK.
So, from being disgusted by this issue to being committed to taking action - here I go.
I am raising my right hand in the universal sign for ’stop’ and joining Con Agra Foods to say Childhood Hunger Ends Here.
So, what does that mean?
It means Con Agra Foods is reaching out - via a few people like me as well as some of their brands to encourage people to turn their neighborhood events (something you are already doing - a food drive, a rummage sale, a lemonade stand) into a Childhood Hunger Ends Here Rally by donating a portion of the proceeds from that event to Feeding America.
Can you get involved? You bet - and easily too. Head to Childhood Hunger Ends Here, register your local rally, and Con Agra Foods will send you a ‘rally kit’ to make your event a success. After the event, you simply jump back online to make your donation.
If you are feeling especially passionate about this - you can organize your own event - plan a neighborhood block party to celebrate Spring and ask your neighbors to donate a can of food, have a dinner party and do the same, rally the members of your church, get your kids involved.
The money you raise and the food you collect will stay in your own community.
You must make your donation online after your rally to keep your donations local.
Missouri - 20% of your kids are hungry
Texas 22% of your kids need your help
North Caroline - 19.4% don’t get what they need to learn in school.
Your state, your community, your kids. Help them.
In addition to the rallies, Con Agra Foods has committed to donating one dollar ($1) for every single purchase of a participating brand, from March until May, up to $2.5 million. Each dollar donated actually provides SEVEN meals. What brands are participating?
Healthy Choice, Manwich, Orville Redenbacher, Marie Callendar’s, Peter Pan Peanut Butter, Chef Boyardee and Banquet.
Con Agra Foods relationship with Feeding America is more than 15 years in the making.
- Marie Callendar’s is already donating 18 truckloads of food to Feeding America - that’s 230,000 meals - WOW!
- Peter Pan Peanut Butter recently made a donation that will provide more than 1 MILLION meals to Feeding America.
- While this particular initiative lasts through May, Con Agra’s relationship with Feeding America has already resulted in donations of more than $27 million.
- Con Agra Foods has committed to $10 million over the next 5 years.
Get to know Feeding America
- Feeding America provides food for low income families - providing the nourishment they need to thrive together.
- 37 million - that’s how many people Feeding America feeds each year. Included in that number - 14 million kids and three million seniors.
- There are more than 200 food banks within Feeding America. Those food banks support 63 thousand agencies fighting this hunger epidemic
If you are planning a neighborhood rally - please share with us here (naturally, in addition, to registering in the Childhood Hunger Ends Here site)
Follow this campaign on Facebook or on Twitter for the latest information and more ways you can help.
*Name has been changed to protect anonymity
** Source: USDA Economic Research Service
Bliss TV - Change that Morning Routine
BlissTV- Morning Routines from Blissful Media Group on Vimeo.
A five year old foot kicks me in the kidney - that’s how I am first roused. Then the small dude begs to let the dog out - Read more
Talk Live - Lose the word ‘um’
Talk Live 1 - Background
Talk Live 2 - Lighting
Talk Live 3 - Distractions
Talk Live 4 - Public Speaking - Know Your Audience
