The true definition of Terrible Twos

Wikpedia says, “A colloquialism describing a stage in the developmental lines of a toddler ” (or a future punk rock band from Detroit)

Pardon me while I snort with laughter….if only it was that benign.

I have a few alternate definitions: (terrible 2′s can be used as a noun, an adjective or a verb)

1) How best to make mommy’s head explode
2) A remarkable stage of development during which your child (sometimes 1 1/2, 2 or nearing 3) will often tantrum and frequently pretend your voice no longer registers for anyone other than the neighborhood dogs
3) The time you are most likely to be heard calling your child “Sybil” in public
4) The toddler act of displaying any and every behavior you were confident existed only in ‘those other children’.
5) The period exisiting right in between the beautiful stage of ‘firsts’: walking, talking, running, giggling and the moment when mom and dad look at each other in wonderment: “Do the terrible 3′s exist?”

A friend once told me, when your ‘terrible twoish’ child acts their age….pretend they are drunk.  It might just make you giggle.

They certainly act like drunks:  they stumble (alot), they cry (easily),  they DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT (ie: “Mommy, have p butta fo wunch”…but, once you had made said Peanut Butter sandwich…the tides have changed.  “No wan p butta…yuck…no like p butta!” often accompanied by a quick toss of said sandwhich you have just made.) “Fine, Sybil…just let me know when you make up your mind.” (PS…it is at this point when your older child pipes up and says, “His name isn’t Sybil, Mommy.  He’s Cooper.”)  Great…two for the price of one..I don’t even get to make side jokes to myself without commentary.

It is much like having the most demanding boss in the whole world….and surprise!  you never get to go home.  Your mean boss wakes you up in the morning with a deviant gleam in their eyes…..just counting (if in fact counting was truly plausible) the ways to make your day difficult.  Whining, tantruming, irrational hitting, never sharing and refusing to eat all come to mind.

You little boss has lots of plans for you today…and every single one of them revolves the world revolving strictly around them.  Hope you don’t have any thing else you  would like to do.

I reached my terrible two limit today.

Don’t let the face fool you….this is Coop’s mandatory ‘keep your %$**!!* hands to yourself’ pose.  It is now a phrase I say multiple times throughout the day.

Wait, I think I hear Coop calling me…..nevermind, he said he doesn’t want me…oops, yes he does.

Where does the time go?

I’m not sure when it happened. 

And, I’m definitely not sure HOW it happened.

But, I woke up this morning, and suddenly I am the mother of this LITTLE GIRL (not toddler) and she actually plays sports.  By herself.  The child who couldn’t leave my side, now hits the ball and runs the bases.  And she is so proud of herself.  And she is having so much fun.

Was it really only 4 years ago that she was so very itty-bitty?

I mean, I knew she was going to grow up sometime.  I guess I just wasn’t really expecting it.

 

If this is how I feel when she’s 4…what in the world am I going to be like when she turns 14?

 

 

 

Payback is a …..

Yep, that’s right. It is ALL coming back to haunt me….

All of the toys I stole from my little brother.  All the times I pushed him before he knew how to push back.

I complained to my mom today about Delaney wanting EVERYTHING Coop picks up: a basketball, a dime-sized Diego toy, a Webkinz….if he touches it, she suddenly wants it desperately. 

You know what my mom said?  You guessed it.  “You used to do that to Josh” (that’s my little brother)

Karma to the 25th degree.

It breaks my heart

My husband is gone for the next month.  Training for a new job.  He will get to come home July 3-5th, but other than that….the kids have only me.

Which isn’t so bad during the day.

But nighttime….well, that’s a different story.  For 3 1/2 hours last night, Coop called out for his daddy.

“Daddy….where are you?”, “Daddy?  You lay down with me?”, “Daddy???”

He’s only 2, so, daddy being ‘in New York’ only makes so much sense. 

I lay down with him, I held him when he asked me to….I even brought him into bed with me…but he was so restless.  He finally asked to go back to his bed because “I don yike u bed, Mommy.”  At least he finally got some sleep.

As much as this literally hurt my heart…what would I do if Jeff was deployed for a year or more?  How do those (incredibly strong) mommys manage?  And worse….God forbid….what if something ever happened to Jeff?  I don’t think I can even go there….it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about.

So…I suppose, despite the midnight heartbreak..we are lucky b/c we know he’s coming home.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

Is it so wrong?

…that I snickered when my long lost hubby told me he was supposed to go parasailing today (told you he was hard at work!) but couldn’t because it started to rain?  I thought about crying for him…he’s always wanted to go..but then I remembered…..he’s at the beach sans kids…and well, I’m clearly NOT.  So….boo-flippin-hoo.  Hope he enjoyed his beach run in the rain.

In case you are wondering….voo-doo dolls and crossing your fingers and wishing really, really hard do work.

I’m thinking I’m starting to sound bitter….but really, the time alone has been a bit refreshing.  I would, however, feel a bit better if he was in…say….Anchorage and not beachside.

Well…he’s back tomorrow…and it really is a bit sad to hear the kids say, “I really miss my daddy”. (Aw, shucks…I guess I miss him too.)

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

Sick little guy update

So….a quick update on Coop…thank you so much for all of the well-wishes and prayers.

As of tonight, the temp is down…..not gone, but we haven’t been climbing since the 103.7 this morning at 10am.  We spent a very traumatic few hours at the ER getting all sorts of test done….note to self: catheters are a very bad thing..especially on little boys….(and when they yell, ‘put my pants on’ while it is happening, it just about breaks your heart)

So….all of the Dr.’s fears…mono, pneumonia, urinary tract infection were proved wrong (thankfully) but that does leave us with a mystery ‘virus’.  The hope is that the fever will be gone for good by Monday.  Here’s hoping it stays down over night.

Fingers crossed.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

96 Questions

96…that’s how many questions my three year old asked me today.

And, no, that doesn’t include the ‘whys’.  I figure I’m in the thousands if I get to include the ‘whys’.  So, for counting purposes, I just included the actual questions I was required to answer today.

“Mommy, what are we doing today?”  This is a Delaney favorite…I get it first thing in the morning and then roughly another 4 times throughout the day.  “What are we doing tomorrow?” My carpe diem deprived daughter is always looking to the future.  She MUST know what she has to look forward to.

Like most parents, I get the standards, “What is for breakfast? (lunch, dinner, snack), “Can I watch Dora?”(Why not?) Right, I know, we aren’t counting the ‘whys’! “Can I go outside?”, (No, it is raining again) “Do I really have to take a nap?” (Absolutely) “What are you doing?” (this answer varies, but it is usually fixing whatever toy has just been broken or needs new batteries) “Who are you talking to?” (Daddy, Nana…etc.) and “Will you hold me?” (this is a favorite, BTW)

But these are the most unique of the day:  “Mommy, can we make a cushion pool?” (Pull ALL the cushions off the couch to jump into?  Yes, you can…mainly because I’m THRILLED she asked permission!)  “Are you dying?” (No) “Is Daddy dying?” (No) “Am I dying?” (No) “Is Santa coming tonight?” (No) “Do I like green beans?” (No, but I wish you did) “Can I have a baby sister?” (That would be a negative) “Do you like the frame I gave you for Mother’s Day?” (Of course) “Is your name Ms. Kara?” (Nope…not unless I’ve transformed into a cute 20-something preschool teacher) “Do you know how to spell chair?” (Yes….do you?  Unless chair is now spelled A-I-P-O-I-N, I’m guessing that’s a no)

Oh….I’m just getting warmed up: “Why is it raining?”, “Can I wear flip flops in the rain?”,”Why do I have to wear a sweater?”, “Why can’t I have milk right before bed anymore?”, (leaking pull-ups, folks…leaking pull ups are the bane of my existance) “Why won’t Cooper share with me?”, “Is there a mean witch coming?”,”Why do you like that song?”, “Are those new shoes, Mommy?”, “Can I lay in your bed tonight?”, “Do I have to take a bath?”

Right about now, you are either smiling and nodding your head in understanding the way only a parent of a toddler can….or you are afraid….very afraid. :)  

I’ll save you the pain of reading through any more of my sweet girl’s questions….but, don’t you worry…they are ping-ponging through my brain as I type….  (Must take tylenol to prepare for tomorrow’s onslaught!)

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com