Honesty, Take 2: I Still Believe

I’m laughing.

And crying.

The universe has a way of pulling you up short, slapping you in the face and saying ‘pay attention, would-ya?’ when you simply aren’t.  Today is one of those days.  I’ve been out of town ten of the last fourteen days… visting three different states in that time.  This last trip, my whole family came with me. While that is a good thing in theory, it didn’t help my productivity. I’m morbidly behind on, well, everything. And I’m suddenly trapped in that jagged space between ‘I’ve totally got this covered’ and ‘there is no way I can do this’.

And that feeling often leads to an immobility I liken to the sensation of something dark and heavy sitting on my chest.

I sat down at my desk this morning, determined to figure it all out and saw this:

Comment

It is a comment on my post, “You want honest, I’ll give you honest“.  And it is about feeling exactly as I do right now: like I’m drowning.

Like I just might be failing at LIFE.

Except I wrote it on September 19, 2011: more than a year and a half ago.  As I re-read the post, something happened.

I laughed at myself.

Do Not Compare Your Insides To Someone Else's Outsides, Danielle Smith - ExtraordinaryMommy.comTwenty months later, I still make to-do lists with items I’ve already done, just so I can cross things off.  I still ‘pretend productivity’ to make myself feel better.  I still have days where I accomplish tasks and days that I’m disappointed in myself.

I still have days where I look at you, (YES, YOU) and only see the outside….

I still have days where my parenting is stellar and days where my business runs beautifully, but never at the exact same moment.  It’s impossible for me to be stellar at both at the exact same time.

I still have days that I cry. And friends I turn to for support. And moments (and days) I walk away to breathe because I MUST. And then feel guilty that I have.

Damn you, vicious cycle.

I still believe balance is the worst word in the universe because we won’t ever feel it, yet we somehow keep trying.

I still struggle. I still look to you for inspiration. I still wonder how everyone else seems to have it all together. And I’m still mad at myself for the comparison. And then I remember I’m my own best competition.

But you know what I try to do well at least most of the time? JUGGLE. And when I drop those balls, because I do, I have to forgive myself. Like when I was late to pick my kids up from school last week – by 5 minutes – and I was surprised to find the Mounties weren’t on the lookout for me. Or when I forgot crazy-hat-and-sock-day. Or when I was late turning in field trip money and had to call to apologize and beg. (can you tell I’m still working on this?)

And just like that post from September 2011, I know I’m making progress because I’m thinking about it, I’m still breathing through it and I’m writing about it.

Now, what was I saying about that to-do list?  Right…. crossing this post off right now.

 

 

How to Organize a Home Office in 10 Steps: Keeping Style in Your Life

How to Organize Home Office - Ten Steps - ExtraordinaryMommy.comWe moved in to our house six years ago next month. I can hardly believe it has been that long.  But what I really can’t believe it that I spent the better part of that time – more than 5 of those years, in fact, sharing an office with my husband. It is a wonder we are both still standing.  Remarkably, from the time we were moving in, we planned to share an office.  We thought it was a brilliant idea. But it wasn’t.

You see, we both work from home.  Neither of us are ‘quiet’ people.  And my job actually requires some semblance of solitude.  When I need to write – I need to think – and quietly.  So his conference calls, his sudden bouts of ‘funny’, and his random thoughts just didn’t make for a productive environment for me.

Fortunately, we came up with the perfect solution – one that created a space just for him – and one just for me.

And now, my office is my sanctuary.

Here are 10 Tips for Organizing Your Home Office

Do you have additional tips for keeping your home office organized and productive?  As I look around my office right now, I can see that I have neglected to take those 10-15 minutes today to organize the clutter and papers.  I definitely still need to do that.

For more on this series, Keeping Style in Your Life check back every Monday or keep reading.

Hair Tutorial: Create Quick, Easy Beach Waves

10 Ways to Tie a Scarf

Organize that Kid’s Room

Healthy Smoothie Recipe

5 Must Have Fashion Items for Your Winter Wardrobe

Hair Tutorial: Quick & Easy Double Braid and Fishtail Braid

Wine Tasting: 6 Amazing Red & White Wines for $15 or Under

As always… thanks for watching!

This video was shot and edited by my good friends at Pounds Media. 

Pounds Media

5 Reasons I’m Excited About The Wine Sisterhood Gathering In Napa

Wine Sisterhood Gathering Danielle AlizaIn just a few weeks, I’m heading to Napa, California – arguably one of my favorite places on the planet – for a very special kind of gathering.  One that combines a few of my favorite things: the beauty and essence of Napa itself – the wine, the food, the delicacies this part of California has to offer, as well as a community of women that will focus on social, digital and mobile media.

The Wine Sisterhood Gathering in Napa, California.

I’m delighted to be leading a workshop, as I did last year, on interactive video. My friend and co-author, Aliza Sherman will running a workshop on using mobile apps for community building and marketing.

5 Reasons I am Especially Excited about this event….

The Idea Exchange

The exchange of ideas between the women from the digital space and those from the wineries is extraordinary. It is amazing what happens when you put women in the same place who are truly excited about learning from one another.  I adore all-things-wine and cannot wait to learn more.  At last year’s gathering, we did tastings, toured wineries and learned history of individual families.  I was fascinated.  At the same time, the women who live and work digitally were able to share and explain how we use our tools on a daily basis. It was a beautiful thing and I have no doubt this year will be the same.

 Wine Sisterhood GatheringThe Connection

Working virtually means that I connect with so many friends online, but don’t always have the opportunity to see them face to face.  This event makes the in-person connection possible and that is good for my soul.  It is a beautiful thing to sit across from someone you haven’t seen in months, to share a glass of wine (one you have newly learned to taste), to laugh, to talk and above all, to connect.  This is one of the few times during the year that Aliza and I truly have the opportunity to spend some time together.  This too, is good for my soul.

The Opportunity to Learn

As much as I adore the chance to teach my workshop on video and I’m truly excited about the interactive component this year, I love that I will be surrounded by so many women who have so much knowledge, so much to offer.  I will spend days immersed in learning about food and wine pairings, but also, there is beauty in learning from the many other women from around the country who dedicate their energy to the digital space.  I am a perpetual student and this is a wonderful place to learn.

Wine Sisterhood GatheringVisiting Napa!

Napa is one of the most beautiful locations in the country.  True, my California roots may leave me a touch biased, but that can’t be helped.  This wine country setting provides the perfect backdrop for this type of event. This gathering educates the women who attend.  It empowers them and connects them by encouraging a community feel…. all while seeing the sites and experiencing the beauty that is Napa.

Wine Sisterhood Inspires Me

I’m a big proponent of ‘doing good’ and the Wine Sisterhood lives that motto with everything they do.  In addition to being an online community that encourages women to connect over wine, travel, style, food and entertaining, they are fiercely supportive of women and women’t causes.  So many of their wines are paired with charitable causes… for example, their Middle Sister Wines supports Help a Sister Out – which pledges $10,000 annually to organizations dedicated to promoting and supporting sisterhood.  I simply love that.

I’ll be heading to Napa from March 3-6th… and will definitely be reporting back.  I’m delighted to say the event is sold out!

 

 

100 Years of Living and Loving: A Tribute to My Grandmother

Me and Grams 100th birthdayBarely five feet tall, she is a force of a woman.  The sparkle in her eyes not dulled by age, but by the disease daily robbing her of the memories she has always held so dear.  The 36,500 days she has lived on this earth are one heck of a milestone…. her spine straightening with pride each time you remind her, “Me? 100?  Well, I’m pretty good, now aren’t I?”

This is a woman born when Woodrow Wilson was President.  Born in 1913…the same year as Rosa Parks… the same year Harriet Tubman died.

She has lived through World War I and World War II.  The Great Depression.  The Korean War.  Vietnam.  The Gulf  War.  The War in Iraq.

You and I have read about the first Nobel Prize going to Einstein, the discovery of King Tut’s tomb, the Spanish Civil War, the Hindenburg, Steamboat Willie hitting the big screen, Pearl Harbor and D-Day- but she was ALIVE for all of it.

She was 48 when the Berlin Wall was BUILT and 76 when it came DOWN.

My small people are often surprised to realize cell phones didn’t exist when I was a child… they are perplexed by the idea of a phone being attached to the wall and can’t imagine a life without a remote control for the TV.

Grams Small PeopleBut imagine this…My sweet Grammie was born before the pop-up toaster was invented.  And the blender. And sunglasses. And deodorant. And Bubble Gum. AND CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.

She was in her 30′s when chemotherapy was invented and older than I am now before the polio vaccine, before bone marrow, lung or heart transplants.

And yet, never can I remember her admonishing, ‘back in my day….’.

Grams Mum 100 Years Old

Grammie – the day before she turned 100!

She is the one grandparent who had a permanent presence in my life…visiting our family for a month every Christmas and three months every summer.  She would appear bearing Rice Krispie treats… still the very best I have ever had… a secret ingredient I’m sure was included as the taste has never been duplicated for me.  She would rearrange the kitchen, making my mother crazy.  She would sleep in my room, so I had to share a room with my brother – something I never appreciated at the time.

An intensely private woman, she rarely shared moments of her own history… that is, until the Alzheimer’s began to take its toll when I was an adult.  I always knew she raised my father, her only child, mainly on her own.  She left my grandfather when my my dad was fairly young – something unheard of at the time.  I can only imagine the strength of character this required.  She battled and survived breast cancer and a mastectomy in her 60′s – but also – to my knowledge, rarely discussed it.

But, as I entered my 30′s, and the Alzheimer’s chipped away at some of what I imagine to be her more difficult memories, a softer side to her was revealed.  She was prone to end phone calls with me by asking, ‘Darlin’?  Isn’t love GRAND?’.  I sensed a joy in her I had never known.  She even sent me a letter talking about her job ‘writing for the paper during the war‘. Neither I nor my dad had ever heard this story. My mom began to record conversations with her….chatting about her history, her life, her story.  What a treasure that we have these moments.

Grams WeddingIn closing, I will share with you a story that, without a doubt gives you a glimpse into the beauty and character of this now 100 year old woman.  For my wedding, she wore the same dress that she wore to my parent’s wedding 30+ years before.  My dad did everything he could to persuade her to wear something new(his gift!), but she was determined.  She had ‘only worn it once, Jon!’ and ‘it still fits, Jon!’ and ‘it’s back in style, Jon!’.

And so it was, that this adorable little woman graced my wedding day and the dance floor with her presence in that beautiful 30 year old dress – that yes, still fit and yes, was still stylist as ever.

It would be difficult for me to list the many, many ways she has graced my life with her beauty, her wit, and her wisdom.

We were supposed to be there today to celebrate her birthday, but my small dude was diagnosed YESTERDAY with the flu – making the trip impossible.  He can’t travel and we can’t risk infecting her or anyone else.  I am heartbroken that we aren’t there… but in spirit, with her always.

I love you, sweet Grammie.

Happy, happy 100th birthday.

Student Inspires Class to BE AWESOME with Help From Kid President

StaroftheweekI am giddy just thinking about how proud I am of my sweet girl.  I’ve told you before that she is a touch shy.  And by shy, I mean, she prefers not to speak in front of people, she often hesitates to make eye contact, and if you are an adult, you sometimes have to lean in to hear her speak when you ask her a question.

This past week, Delaney was chosen to be ‘Star of the Week’ at school.  This means she is highlighted for being exceptionally good and kind the previous week.  Star of the Week Students bring in pictures of themselves and their family to show everyone about their lives – who they are, what makes them happy and what they love to do for fun.  Delaney had no problem doing that portion.  But on Thursday, the Star of the Week is also expected to lead the class in an activity – they can teach their classmates, sing a song, do a dance, read a book or any number of activities.  This had my girl’s tummy in knots.  And by proxy, mine too.

Until I saw this. This is one heck of a Pep Talk.  I wrote about how much I loved it.  I showed it to my family.  And my friends.  I posted it anywhere and everywhere because I thought everyone needed to see it.  And I still do.

But the best part?  When my small girl saw it, we began to formulate a plan for her Star of the Week class activity and it all revolved around talking about BEING AWESOME just like Kid President.

Here’s how it happened:

So, this is what Delaney did in her class:

She read Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken. 

She showed Kid President’s Pep Talk.

And then passed out a sheet of paper with a few questions:

  • “What makes you awesome?”,
  • “What can you do to make the world awesome?”
  • “Who supports you?”

I couldn’t WAIT until Delaney came home from school to hear all about it.  She actually stood in front of her class, read a poem, explained what the ‘Road Not Taken’ means, showed the video and talked about what it means to BE AWESOME.

She was AWESOME.

She had the time of her life.

And I’m having the time of mine.

Worth Sharing: A Pep Talk from Kid-President

I am officially raising my hand in a bid to adopt this child, to put him on my shelf, to carry him around with me in an attempt to feel as motivated, as dance-worthy, as awesome as this little man does.

I promise, this is worth every single last second of the 3 minutes and 28 seconds you will spend watching this little guy.

“Create something that will make the world awesome!”

If you are anything like me, you might soon find yourself watching MORE Kid President videos as this is just the tip of his adorable and awesome.

The world needs more Kid President.  I know I certainly do….

I’m sharing with you because YOU make me smile, you support me, YOU need more awesome in your world.

Who will you share it with?

Taking a Page out of The Good Life for Less {Book Review}

I love my life.  But I know, deep in my soul there are things I could be doing better.  I could be saving money at the grocery store.  I could have a more organized home.  I could entertain more often.  I could likely even create more family memories than I do. And I could be doing it all for less money than I do now.

It all sounds very ‘pie-in-the-sky-, I know…. but what is refreshing and lovely is that, quite honestly, I’m learning that it isn’t. I’m taking advice and tips from someone I have known for years.  Amy Allen Clark is the founder and primary author of a lovely (and incredibly useful) website called MomAdvice.  As part of a family who originally learned to live a ‘Good Life for Less‘ out of necessity – her husband lost his job several years ago and they were forced to figure out how to make things work, Amy now truly embraces all the ways those experiences have allowed her, her husband and her children to live a life they love on less money AND – this is the treasure – to share that wisdom with others. She does this beautifully in her new book, The Good Life for Less.

The Good Life for Less, Amy Allen Clark

As I flipped through the pages of the book (I will confess to devouring it in one sitting), I will admit to squirming as Amy wags her author’s finger as us, stressing the importance of truly knowing where your money is coming from, where and how it is being spent and setting a family budget.  Some of my favorite advice in the book:

Chapter 1- Your Budget: Make it, Live it, Love it

  • Teach your Children to be Frugal – I love the message of modeling for your small people
  • Double checking your bills to make sure you aren’t being over-charged (I know most people don’t do this, but I will give my husband credit…we save money by doing this EVERY SINGLE MONTH)
  • Shop Smarter – including making a list and taking fewer trips to the store (both areas need improvement from me)

Chapter 2 – The Frugal Generous Kitchen

  • Clipping coupons (I will admit to doing this for the first time in years this past weekend, thank you, Amy)
  • Keeping a well stocked Pantry – I’m now trying to stock up on staples – she even includes a suggested ‘most used list’
  • Use what you have – almost my entire menu this week is based on items (aside from fresh fruit, vegetable & meat) that we already have

Chapter 3 – Recipes to Prepare and Share

  • I love that Amy offers ‘homemade’ versions of many regular staples – Ranch dressing, pancake mix, stuffing
  • I will be honest – there are too many meals I want to try  - so I can’t list them all here (homemade granola bars, anyone?)

Chapter 4 – Good Times: Holidays, Family Gatherings, and Special Occasions

  • Have a family tradition that isn’t based around a ‘regular’ holiday
  • Gift suggestions for almost every occasion
  • Summer fun ideas that don’t require great expense

Chapter 5 – Keep Your House Clean, Organized and Welcoming

  • I loved Amy’s ideas for decorating rooms in the house – so many including personal touches like family pictures and homemade artwork
  • Make some of your own cleaning supplies ( I actually unclogged a drain the other day all by myself with Amy’s tips)
  • Amy has convinced me there are some home repairs I can do myself (gasp!)

This book is such a treat. Written with Amy’s signature warmth… if you have ever had the pleasure of meeting her in person, you know JUST what I mean… it will take your hand and guide you gently through the many ways you can live The Good Life for Less.  I am having fun putting her many tips into practice – bit by bit.

She is making me better.  Related: my husband is happy, too.

Have you read The Good Life for Less?  If so… is there a favorite tip you’d love to share?