My wake up call - AKA - Kids and Brutal Honesty

So, here I am, going about my day….and then WHAM! I hit the brick wall of my 5 year old’s honesty.

She tip toes in from gymnastics - walks right up to me, pats me on the stomach and says,

“Wow, Mommy….do you have a baby in your tummy?  It is Reeeallllyy big.”

And I am instantly struck with the child-like urge to push her down.

But, you will be happy to know, I resist.

Not because I want to (the truth is - I really want to push her) but because I am a Mommy (read: adult who is supposed to have little to know sensitivity when it comes to dealing with the uncensored ramblings of small people)

I am expected to have thick skin when it comes to this type of thing, right?  I mean….it isn’t like she was trying to hurt my feelings. But, it sort of made me want to grab a bag of Oreos.  And push her down.  I already mentioned that part, right?

Clearly, this is a sensitive topic for me.  Because I have been wondering the very same thing about myself.  It feels like I haven’t been to the gym since 1987.  And I know my eating has been suspect.

Yet, I am surrounded by friends who ‘pshaw’ when I talk about it.

“you don’t need to lose weight.” “your eating is fine.” “you are TINY!”

But the small person doesn’t have that type of censoring.  She calls is like she sees it.

And she sees what I have been trying to avoid: that I needed a little wake-up call.

Want to meet me at the gym in the morning?

I’m getting thicker skin

When I was a TV Anchor, thick skin was a requirement.  Over and over, I would repeat to myself , “you can’t please everybody all the time”.

People would call the station to complain if I cut my hair (or when they thought I needed a trim), if I wore red, if I smiled too often or not enough.  When I met someone in person, they frequently said, “wow, you are thinner/prettier in person”.

Something about putting yourself out there means people are allowed or invited to share their thoughts, specifically of you.

I haven’t done TV for a few years, but am clearly ‘putting myself out there’ on this site. Until the last few days I haven’t had a comment that really stung.  Most of my readers (I smile and says thank you!) are opinionated, but  kind and generous.

I even did a post a month ago about some of the hatred I had seen online - and how truly baffling it is to me. Now it is my turn.

Ten days ago, I wrote a post about one of our family pictures (that I had posted online) ending up as an ad in the Czech Republic.  I found out because a guy I went to college with now lives there.  He just happened to see it as he was driving down the street.  I posted this story because I think it is INTERESTING: 1) I didn’t know pictures were being taken from the web and used in ads 2) what a small world!!  What are the chances I would know someone in Prague -and that same someone would drive down that very street and see the picture?

In the past 48 hours, this post has been posted on Digg/Reddit/and a whole bunch of others. Thousands of people have stopped by for a visit - hundreds of them had something to say. A lot of people shared similar stories, offered suggestions on what I should do, or merely said, “wow!  who knew?”

However, quite a few were horrendous and nasty.  I’ve been called names I hadn’t heard in years.

Seriously?  You digg my story?  You stumbled upon it?  And you just felt compelled to tell me my husband is the unluckiest guy in the world because he got ’stuck’ with me? Or that he is ugly? Or something even more hideous about my kids? You think I’m a terrible mom for posting family pictures? I’m a moron for not knowing this could happen?

And best of all, you with the big and nasty words - you hide behind your anonymity. You leave fake websites and fake email addresses.  Why? Because you are a coward.  You hide behind your computer - somehow this makes you feel powerful.  Strange.

So, I posted an update on that post. I clarified the things people seemed to find most confusing.  And I mentioned I would be happy to approve most comments - as long as they related to the story.  Even if you think I’m a moron.  But, I won’t approve hatred.  I won’t approve pure nastiness - especially if it is aimed at my family.  Because, well, I don’t have to.  And clearly, those comments lack a little something - like a spine.

So, I saved my updated post.  I stopped reading the list of comments on the other sites.  I zip up my 3rd and 4th layers of skin and head out the door to play with my family.

And, yes - I do think my kids are beautiful. And I do think my husband is hot. 

And it is ok, if you don’t.

Stolen Picture

So, this is the price we pay for indulging in social media, I guess.

I am thrilled to have reconnected with so many friends on Facebook.  One of them sent me this message yesterday:

Alright, so how’s this for random: I’m in the car, taking my wife for a check up, pass by a new grocery store and notice that they have a picture of you, your husband and two kids on the store front window. Life size. I kid you not. Will take a photo of it later today and send….

What you don’t know from this message: this college friend lives in the CZECH REPUBLIC.

Clearly, my family did NOT take a picture for any advertisements - either here or abroad. And, clearly, whoever hijacked the picture assumed no one would recognize us so far away. Hmmmm…wrong.

I’ll admit, there is an element of flattery (I think) to the whole thing.  But still, there is something creepy about knowing our family picture was stolen from one of my sites. This picture has been on my blog, used as a Christmas card and put on a few Ning Networking sites. It is also on my Facebook page (which is one of the reasons Justin recognized us) but my FB page is open only to friends.

Perplexing.

Here is the real picture:

And here is our modeling debut in Prague.

According to my friend, Justin, the translation reads:  “We will prepare and deliver your requests in two business days.”

Thanks, Justin for letting me know!

Interesting.  Bizarre. Flattering, I suppose.  But quite creepy.

This picture was taken by a friend of mine, Gina Kelly.  She does give me the rights to the pictures she has taken - and has authorized me to use them on my site, etc.

Your thoughts?

Updated, Saturday, June 6th.  Based on the comments I’m seeing, I feel compelled to clarify a few things. 1) I am the author of this site - Danielle.  Not my husband.  Quite a few comments have been directed to him. 2) I take FULL responsibillity for posting this picture with the incorrect resolution (read: too high).  Clearly, I am not a professional photographer and should have made the resolution smaller and/or watermarked the picture. 3) I used the incorrect term in one of my comments - the photographer did sign a release for me to use the pictures, and certainly, this does not mean I ‘own’ them. 4) While the photographer certainly may sell some of her pictures as stock, she ALWAYS has the subjects sign a model release.  I didn’t sign one for this picture, but would have if she had asked. 5) I posted this story because I think it is INTERESTING - what are the chances a friend who see this ad thousands of miles away? AND because I was SURPRISED it happend. Like many of you commenting, I wasn’t aware pictures could be taken.  If this makes me naive, so be it.  Now I know. And, for the record, I will not stop using pictures of my family on my site - I will however, change the format. 6) I am grateful to the greatest percentage of people who have commented with very interesting thoughts.  However, if you are part of the smaller percentage who are commenting only to say that a member of my family (or all of us) are ugly, I won’t be approving the comment.  I won’t allow it on my site.  I imagine you understand.  Thanks for stopping by!

Curiouser and Curiouser

Sometimes I think I must not get it at all.

And by ‘IT’, I mean some people and their truly special brand of nastiness.

I blog because I like to.  I like to share, and love it when people share back.

I just never imagined that ’sharing’ to some is more like ’spreading-the-most-disturbing kind-of-evil-you-can-think-of’.

Let me explain.  I have never had a serious hate comment (please don’t start now). But I’ve heard some bloggers talk about closing comments, crying at their desks, etc because the hatred gets out of hand.  And I just saw it happen.

I visited Dooce.  You know her, right?  I don’t know her very well…just stop by every now and again.  Tonight she was talking about getting an unscheduled ultrasound because the doctors had determined her belly hadn’t grown enough.

You know and I know - that hearing ANYTHING might be amiss in your pregnancy is terrifying.  The ultrasound proved things are hunky-dory, but as I was reading through some of the comments, most of them filled with well-wishes, there was one, posted Anonymously, (naturally - you coward) that really stuck out:

162. Anonymous said:

Twitter brings out the Sun

I don’t claim to know why everyone uses Twitter, but I can certainly suggest (beyond SEO, traffic or promotion of any kind) why you should.

For inspiration. To feel connected.  For advice.

This morning, I awoke to another cloudy, rainy day.  Desperate to avoid another Monday (or, as it turns out, my early Tuesday), I jumped on Twitter and said,

“Anyone have any sunshine to share?”

Wouldn’t you know - there were A LOT of people willing to spread a little sunshine. (and a few who wished they could but didn’t have any to spare.)

@luannarodham decided to make me laugh (and she did!)She wrote: @ExtraordMommy Here’s something funny. My 7yr. boy says that he can tell girl dogs from boy dogs because girl dogs have eye brows.

@GaneshiX offered : @ExtraordMommy This fresh cup of coffee is awfully sunshiny to me!

@4thQtrCoach flattered: @ExtraordMommy Here’s some sunshine. Our friend @DixieDynamite says YOU are a great #stl connector!

and my new friend @NTFFC  (No Time For Flash Cards) sent the sun right over: @ExtraordMommy Here is some sun for you ! http://tinyurl.com/d9hg8s

As soon as I went to her site, I decided a good copy-cat project was in order and Delaney couldn’t wait to get started.

All I needed was a paper plate, some glue, construction paper and scissors. Thank heavens I had it all.

Voila!  Instant Sunshine!

 

I was so excited we had this sunshiney Mommy-Daughter time, I started singing the song on NoTimeForFlashCards’ site.  And Delaney couldn’t help but be drawn in.

Friends - use Twitter for anything!  Ask for computer advice, request jokes, tell a story, MAKE FRIENDS.

I am. And I LOVE it.

My, those stirrups look good on you!

Nothing makes a Mommy feel classy and collected like visiting your OBGYN (who I ADORE, by the way) for your annual appointment with your kids in tow.

All you can do is smile, keep your arm stretched firmly in place to keep them from wandering south and mutter, ‘just making sure Mommy is ok’, when your four year old looks warily towards the end of the table and mumbles, “Mommy, what is she doing to you?”

Let’s be clear - it all started because, well, I am a moron.  And I mean a big one.

Last week was Spring Break.  So, naturally, I assumed today would be the day to return to school.  I even believed this as friends told me their kids were off.  I assumed and believed WRONG.  However, the enlightening ‘there is no school today moment’ did not happen as I packed a lunch box, weaseled Coop’s feet into his shoes, or grabbed the backpack to head out the door. 

My you-have-got-to-be-flippin’-kidding-me-moment came as I approached the school and there were NO cars in the parking lot - save for the one lone Yukon pulling out.  (I’m not alone!) And yet, I circled the school, just to be sure. 

I then sat in the parking lot to Twitter about it - certain there would be another mother who understood - or at least someone who could make me laugh about it. I also posted my faux pas on Facebook - I figured my friends could use the Monday Morning laugh.

And, yes, they laughed.

And, I proceeded to my appointment.  God love my doctor for letting the kids come back with me - and for being so darn quick at the whole miserable thing. 

The good news is - the kids do not seem to be scarred by today’s episode.  At least they haven’t mentioned anything since we left the office.  Of course, that really means nothing.  My daughter could decide to reminisce about “Mommy laying on that table with no pants on” at our next neighborhood BBQ.

Wouldn’t that be fun?

Stop laughing.

Clearly, I am scarred.

Following the Purple Trail to Party Planning - Giveaway

How many parties do you think you plan and host each year? 

For me there are birthday parties (kids and adults!), holiday get-togethers, a beginning of Summer bash, a wow-I-can’t-believe-Summer-is-over-sendoff, an Oscar Event, odd baby and wedding showers and well, any number of ‘just because I want to’ BBQs, wine tastings, meal makings and other shindigs.

 

So, because I know you love a good party as much as I do - I have something to share with you - the newest, coolest, classiest way to plan your party and send out invites online.

With hundreds of designs to choose from and customize, PurpleTrail is leading the way to elite party planning.  

Here are the highlights:

*You can personalize invites with your own photos
* There are NEVER ads ANYWHERE on your invites (so no wrinkle cream display on your pool party invite!)
*Guests aren’t required to create an account to RSVP
*You can send invites via email, text or Facebook
*You can import your address book info
*Track all emails sent, opened, and forwarded
*Schedule messages or reminder emails to certain guests
*Plan recurring events and meetings

You can even make your event a paid one - sell tickets! Purple Trail allows you to collect money through PayPal - fantastic for fundraisers!!

In addition to these services, Purple Trail is packed full of articles that can help you to with all kinds of party planning - baby showers, birthdays, BBQs, etc.  They even offer suggestions for invitation wording.

OK - so, I haven’t even gotten to the best part.  Are you ready?  3 things:

First of all - initial service is available for FREE.  That’s right, F-R-E-E.  When you sign up for this level, you can send up to 75 emails per event and up to 500 emails per month.  You are also guaranteed - NO ADS!

Second - the Basic Plan is only $9.95 for an entire YEAR.  This includes up to 250 emails per event and 1000 a month. Of course no ads - and up to 25 credits for sending SMS text messages. You can also take advantage of animated themes, exporting your address book, and collecting payments

Third - and best of all - Purple Trail is giving away a Basic Membership to someone just like you!  All you have to do is visit their site, and post a suggestion here:  what would you like to see most from on online invitation service?  Can’t wait to see what you have to say!

So, if you only ever host small events, the free service is probably ideal - but imagine the possibilities if you plan conferences, regular business meetings, or huge family gatherings!

Additional membership levels include all of the listed perks plus extras like increased guest and email capacity as well as printable game options.

And finally, because I can’t resist a company that is working to make our world a better place, I must share something with you.  In addition to working towards their business goals, the folks at Purple Trail never lose sight of their social goals.  All employees dedicate 10 percent of their working time to helping non-profit organizations with event management.(parties, fundraisers, etc.)

How fantastic is that?

Giveaway runs until Saturday, April 25th at 11:59pmCST

Next Page »