Be Better Than That: Stop Using The ‘R’ Word!

March 7, 2012 By 1 Comment

Glorious.

Monumental.

Opulent.

Serendipity.

Effervescent.

Mellifluous.

I love the English language.  These are some of my favorite words.  When I say them, you know what I mean – they describe a person, a feeling, a situation.  They evoke emotion.

I love the way words can flow off the tongue, resonating with emotions we are experiencing.

Words are powerful.

POWERFUL.

They can lift.  Inspire.  Wound.  Scar.  Heal.

So, doesn’t it make sense, as we recognize that power, to respect it….  to step back and consider the depth behind our words, rather than allowing our speech to fall into a lazy pattern including words that injure?

Retard.

Retarded.

Two of the words I detest the most for their over-use, their poor stereotyping, the laziness they suggest as they spew from the mouths of people who utter them.

“They’re just words!”  ”I didn’t mean anything by them!”  ”I wasn’t talking about a person!”

But those words have power.  And every time they tumble from your lips, you chip away at the respect people with cognitive and intellectual disabilities struggle to overcome every single day.  Why?  Because you couldn’t come up with something else to say.

I don’t have a personal stake in this in the same way my friend, Ellen does.  Her phenomenal, loving, kindhearted son Max has cerebral palsy.  He’s been given a bad name before. And she made this beautiful video as a gentle nudge.  Let Max’s face be the one you see the next time you think about saying, tweeting, or texting the R word.

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Lower Taxes For Non Gender Specific Mustache

March 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment

A guest post by my friend:  Dr. Aaron Perlut.  Why is the renowned Dr. Perlut posting here, you ask? Because I support not only his tireless creative social media efforts, but his support of good causes like Millions From One.  Read on.

When the Declaration of Independence was adopted in 1776, Americans understood that we were endowed by our creators with inherent and inalienable rights; among them being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

We were also afforded a freedom from unfair taxation, and with this in mind, and with the support of H&R Block, on President’s Day 2012 the American Mustache Institute launched quite possibly the most important tax-mitigation initiatives since the founding fathers created our system of government.

It’s called the “Million Mustache March for the Stache Act” – and just because it’s about lower nose accoutrements, don’t think it doesn’t apply to women as well.

The effort supports the proposed legislation conceived by noted tax policy professor Dr. John Yeutter of Northeastern State University. If adopted, it would provide an annual $250 tax refund to people of facial hair for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies in the determination of Adjusted Gross Income. This would include women who must invest in facial hair removal, either on the brows or upper lips.

You can read Dr. Yeutter’s white paper on the issue on the AMI site, and we are asking consumers to demonstrate their support in two ways: 1) by visiting  StacheAct.com and adding a past presidential mustache to a Facebook photo; or 2) join AMI in Washington, D.C., on April 1 for a physical march of one million Mustached Americans from the U.S. Capitol to the White House.

Possibly most important, like every AMI effort, this is charitable. H&R Block has not only endorsed the campaign, but for each participant, either at StacheAct.com or in the March, the company will make a contribution to Millions From One, which delivers clean drinking water to those who cannot obtain it themselves.

But why is this so important, so necessary, so just? It’s a lesson in little known history.

Facial hair and government have not been easy partners. There have been only nine U.S. presidents with facial hair – not one since William Howard Taft left office in 1913. There has not even been a Mustached American major party candidate for President since Thomas E. Dewey in 1948. There are currently just 34 people of facial hair in the U.S. House of Representatives, only North Dakota’s John Hoeven in the U.S. Senate, and 26 states without Mustached American representation.

Despite that, in the mid-1960s, the U.S. government was concerned that Americans traveling overseas were being taunted with cat-calls of “ugly Americans.” Members of Congress reached out to AMI and enlisted our support to improve good looks so that these taunts would be mitigated. Over the coming years, we would do just that – encouraging facial hair growth and improving good looks by 38 percent according to AMI science. But those good looks came at a cost – in the form of American-made facial hair grooming products like beard and mustache trimmers, hair dyes, dynamite and mayonnaise.

Therefore, given the clear link between the growing and maintenance of mustaches and not only good looks but, according to studies, incremental income, it appears clear that mustache maintenance costs qualify for and should be considered as a deductible expense related to the production of income under Internal Revenue Code Section 212.

Hence, the STACHE Act.

So I ask you – don’t disregard the interests nor intentions of the founding fathers nor civil libertarians like Clarence Darrow. Join us for the most important movement in the history of movements. Help ensure for the fair taxation of Mustached Americans, and at the same time, help deliver clean drinking water to those who cannot obtain it themselves.

You’re welcome.

About the Author: Dr. Aaron Perlut is the chairman of the American Mustache Institute and considered one of the seven most good looking men in Western civilization

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Giving The Gift Of Love For Valentine’s Day – Children’s Memorial Hospital

February 13, 2012 By 2 Comments

It is the most simple of gestures, a card.  Given to a small person on Valentine’s Day.  Within its folds: your wishes, your hopes, and your love.

It is something I can easily do here at home – but imagine your children were not tucked safely in their own beds, but were instead fighting for their little lives.  Wouldn’t the extra love given by a Valentine be just the thing they needed?

Imagine the joy, the smiles, the excitement that a card can bring.  Now instead of imagining – watch.

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I Believe: I Just *Might* Be Doing Something Right….

January 16, 2012 By 6 Comments

I spend a lot of time doubting myself when it comes to parenting.

Am I feeding them enough vegetables?  Why, oh WHY did I ever let them sleep with me? What if I can’t equip them with everything they need to be strong?  I could easily second guess every decision I have made since the day both of my small people were born.

But every once in a while, there is a moment.  And that moment is blinding in its brilliance.  In that moment, I think, MAYBE…. just MAYBE, I might be doing something ‘right’.

I had one of those moments today.

It was simple.  We stopped at Panera for lunch. He asked for Mac n’ Cheese. She asked for Grilled Cheese.

Lunch arrived.  There were tears.  He MEANT to ask for Grilled Cheese.  He was devastated as only a five year old small dude can be when lunch isn’t JUST what you want….and worse, you have to watch your sister eat the food you MEANT to order.

And yet… when I looked at my small people?  Who had the Mac n’ Cheese? My small girl.  She traded.  No one asked her to do it.  No one even suggested it.  All by herself….she took the meal she DIDN’T EVEN LIKE.

Just to be nice.

And so, my friends…. it is with this, I conclude…

I do believe….I just *MIGHT* be doing something right.

What do you believe?

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The Kindness of Strangers: Poetry of The Heart

January 6, 2012 By 10 Comments

Gina working with the Pujols Family Foundation in the Dominican Republic

Yesterday I wrote a post about my friend Gina.  The post hurt to write.  Gina has had a hell of a year. In one year’s time she lost her husband in a tragic car accident, battled and beat colon cancer only to discover she now has to fight cancer in her liver that has also spread to her lymph nodes, her abdomen and the walls of her chest.

But my post was about her strength, her spirit, her will to fight. I wrote about my love of our friendship, my admiration of her giving nature and her gift of photography. And what I believe is a new beginning for her.
And I shared the post as I often do.  On Facebook.  And on Twitter.
The comments were beautiful.  But something else remarkable happened.
This man…. this poet, reached out to me via twitter and offered something beautiful.
And I accepted.  Martin Dejnicki is a poet.  He was inspired to create AnitaPoems.com  for his wife who he refers to as his ‘soulmate’.  In his words, he wanted to “show people how simple gestures like rhyming poems can bring love into their lives (just like it happened to me). And writing poems for others who need them is the most genuine and authentic way I could possibly think of accomplishing this.”
In only a matter of hours, this arrived in my inbox.
He wrote the poem in 1st person, as though I might be speaking to Gina….
Gina
I have been blessed,
with a remarkable friend.
How much she means to me,
through these words I extend.

The day that I met her,
I knew from the start.
This little brunette,
has the most generous heart.

Our bond and our journey,
eight priceless years.
We’ve shared so much,
both smiles and tears.

She’s a beautiful lady,
that I truly adore.
Gives to so many,
and strives to do more.

Obstacles and tragedies,
she tackles each one.
Raised the most kind-hearted,
daughter and son.

I’m always amazed,
at her courage and will.
All of her dreams,
I know she’ll fulfill.

She has a special talent,
even time stops to look.
The most beautiful photos,
over the years she has took.

Gina lives life,
with the most humblest grace.
Children in need,
she will always embrace.

Even when against a wall,
she talks about giving back.
She’ll conquer cancer,
with a faith-filled attack.

This wonderful friend,
continues to inspire.
Her zest for life,
I truly admire.

Her impact on my life,
has been way beyond vast.
Our beautiful friendship,
forever shall last.

I have pure faith in Gina,
the stars are aligned.
The world is better,
with her love that’s so kind.

Before today, Martin and I had exchanged but a few tweets…
Thank you, Martin, for putting prayer into action, for being an example of faith, for giving me yet another reason to believe in the goodness of people.  I’m so grateful for the gift of your words.
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The Beauty of Giving Even After The Holidays

December 31, 2011 By 1 Comment

They are at this perfect age, my small people.  The magic of the holidays wrapped around them like a favorite blanket as we made Thanksgiving dinner together and I don’t think they have yet allowed it to slip from their shoulders. They have been wide-eyed and giddy for the past month.  And it isn’t just the thought of ‘getting’ that has them bouncing off the walls – it is the giving.

And that, by far, is the best gift I could ask for.

My small dude had only opened one present – his gift from Santa before he was pushing me on to the couch to put a colorful package on my lap and a matching one in his sister’s hands.  Our gifts:  matching necklaces. Hearts. Mom and Daughter.  An idea from his very own five year old soul. The gift itself is a treasure.  His love of giving is priceless.

Care to spread that giving around?  I have an idea for you.

As much as I love the gifts I received, I know (from experience) that we all typically receive a few gifts that simply find their way to the back of a closet and do nothing but take up space.  Those gifts simply weren’t right for US, but they may be perfect for someone else.

So sell them on eBay.  AND? Donate the money to one of your favorite charities through ebay Giving Works. There are more than 18,000 nonprofits registered with eBay Giving Works including The American Red Cross, Susan G Komen, Habitat for Humanity and two of my personal favorites Operation Shower and the Wounded Warrior Project.

Selling with eBay Giving Works is easy.  I promise.

  • You choose the charity you want to help.
  • You decide how much you want to donate.  It doesn’t have to be the full final sale price – it could be anywhere from 10% to 100%. When the item sells, the donation is automatically made.
  • You create your special listing – there will be a special blue and yellow ribbon on your listing to designate it as a ‘Giving Works’ item.
  • Naturally, you let people know you have the item for sale as you normally would.
  • You receive a credit for your fees that matches the percentage of your donation.  If you donate 25% of your sale, eBay will credit you back 25% of your seller’s fees. If you donate 100%, you pay nothing.

And if you simply want to support the Giving Works program with your purchases, look for that blue and yellow ribbon – as those items for sale are the ones that will benefit the many charities on the list. So far, more than $237 million has benefited these charities through this program as a result of eBay buyers and sellers since it began in 2003 (just watch the real-time ticker on the homepage!). Amazing.

Happy Selling.  And Giving.

 

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It Is Better To Give Than To Receive: Why You Should Give During the Holidays

December 21, 2011 By Leave a Comment

In late November  of 1995 I lay in bed, looking around my studio apartment, trying in the dark to pick out things I mght be able to sell.  My $450 rent was due in a matter of days and I didn’t have it.  I was working two jobs. I was temping during the day.  I was cocktailing at night.  I was interning at KGTV, the ABC affiliate, on the weekend.

I wasn’t making enough money to pay my bills and pursue my ‘dream job’ of becoming a television reporter.  In what little free time I had, I was making copies of VHS tapes as resumes and mailing them to News Directors around the country hoping someone, anyone, would give me a shot.  Butte, Montana?  I’d move there.  Fargo, North Dakota. You bet.  Paducah, Kentucky?  Bring it on. Dubbing video tapes and mailing them out was an expensive process.  And it was sapping my funds.

So I had no money.  I could cover my utilities.  My phone.  My gas.  I’d even paid my student loans.  Because when you go to college, you have to pay that money back, even if you can’t get a job.

But my $450 in rent?  I didn’t have it.

I cycled through tears of desperation, a knot in my stomach the size of Butte, Montana (stupid News Director – why wouldn’t he just give me a job??) and was now approaching I-give-up.  I woke the next morning, dragged myself out of bed and prepared to cycle through my 9am-5pm and 6pm-11pm day.  Again.

My eyes were red from crying.  Attractive.  I know.

But that evening something happened.

In my mail was an envelope.  Hand written. You know how it feels to open hand-written mail.  It is a little like Christmas every time.  What could it be?  Who is it from?  Is it a card? A letter? A note?  This one had no return address.  And a blurred post mark.

I opened it.  American Express gift cheques.  Five of them.  One hundred dollars.  One hundred dollars.  One hundred dollars.  One hundred dollars.  Fifty dollars.  

You do the math.  Exactly the $450 I needed for rent. 

That’s it.  No name.  And remember the postage was blurred.  I couldn’t even tell if it had been mailed in San Diego where I was living at the time.

Included with the checks:  A simple note, “Merry Christmas, Danielle.  We hope this helps.” Helps??!!??  It SAVED me. I sat on my bed and cried.  It was like being tossed a life vest.  The relief washed over me in waves. I suddenly felt as though I could breathe again. I spent the first few hours trying to figure out WHO my guardian angel could possibly be. And then I realized they didn’t want to be discovered.  They wanted to help me anonymously – to preserve my pride and maybe, just maybe, they hoped I would be inspired to pass it on someday.

This is someday.

Give Good, Get Good.

At this time…when I was only 22, I was on the receiving end of the needing.  I was on the receiving end of the giving.

But not anymore.  I’m older, wiser.  My student loans are a thing of the past.  Now, I can give.  I decided right then I wouldn’t always be the needy one.  And as soon as I could – I’d be the anonymous giver.   I try throughout the year to do little things that make a difference…. but it is during the holidays that I find the greatest joy.

Do you know that it is better to Give than to Receive?

Adopt a family.  Donate toys to a Children’s hospital or the Ronald McDonald House.  Pick a homeless shelter, call and ask what they might need. Remember that your every act serves as an example for your children.  They will model what you DO, not simply what you TELL them to do.

I encourage you to watch the news for inspiration…. take for example the story of the Secret Santas invading Kmarts in dozens of states, paying off layaways for families who might not otherwise be able to provide Christmas for their children.  If you have the means, and haven’t found a way to give yet, march your happy self in to one and pay off a balance.  How easy is that?  And how beautiful?

It is even happening right here in St. Louis.

I sat with my small people last night….as I do each year, talking about what it means to give during the holidays.  They are only five and seven.  I know they are young.  I can’t expect them to understand everything.  They make Christmas lists for Santa. They spend too much time saying, “I want….” and “I need….”  and I truly want them to experience the joy that comes from helping someone else. I know, on some level, I’m succeeding…. as we talked, they grabbed their piggy banks, shook loose some dollars and change and said, ‘we want to help too’.

I was asked yesterday what I ‘get’ for doing something for someone else…. in other words… ‘what is in it for me?’

I wish my heart would turn a different color, my eyes would literally sparkle, that the outside of me could belie the giddy on my inside.  That’s what I ‘get’.

Joy.  

I get to know I am giving someone what was given to me in 1995.

Relief.  The ability to breathe again.  A smile.

And now that I’m a mom?  I’m hopeful I’m teaching my small people a life lesson they will carry with them:

Give Good, Get Good.  Pass it on.

Happy Holidays, friends.

Photo Credit: Flickr Artotem

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