I Believe: I Just *Might* Be Doing Something Right….

January 16, 2012 By 6 Comments

I spend a lot of time doubting myself when it comes to parenting.

Am I feeding them enough vegetables?  Why, oh WHY did I ever let them sleep with me? What if I can’t equip them with everything they need to be strong?  I could easily second guess every decision I have made since the day both of my small people were born.

But every once in a while, there is a moment.  And that moment is blinding in its brilliance.  In that moment, I think, MAYBE…. just MAYBE, I might be doing something ‘right’.

I had one of those moments today.

It was simple.  We stopped at Panera for lunch. He asked for Mac n’ Cheese. She asked for Grilled Cheese.

Lunch arrived.  There were tears.  He MEANT to ask for Grilled Cheese.  He was devastated as only a five year old small dude can be when lunch isn’t JUST what you want….and worse, you have to watch your sister eat the food you MEANT to order.

And yet… when I looked at my small people?  Who had the Mac n’ Cheese? My small girl.  She traded.  No one asked her to do it.  No one even suggested it.  All by herself….she took the meal she DIDN’T EVEN LIKE.

Just to be nice.

And so, my friends…. it is with this, I conclude…

I do believe….I just *MIGHT* be doing something right.

What do you believe?

Filed Under: Featured Content, Give Good Get Good, I Believe, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , ,

The Kindness of Strangers: Poetry of The Heart

January 6, 2012 By 10 Comments

Gina working with the Pujols Family Foundation in the Dominican Republic

Yesterday I wrote a post about my friend Gina.  The post hurt to write.  Gina has had a hell of a year. In one year’s time she lost her husband in a tragic car accident, battled and beat colon cancer only to discover she now has to fight cancer in her liver that has also spread to her lymph nodes, her abdomen and the walls of her chest.

But my post was about her strength, her spirit, her will to fight. I wrote about my love of our friendship, my admiration of her giving nature and her gift of photography. And what I believe is a new beginning for her.
And I shared the post as I often do.  On Facebook.  And on Twitter.
The comments were beautiful.  But something else remarkable happened.
This man…. this poet, reached out to me via twitter and offered something beautiful.
And I accepted.  Martin Dejnicki is a poet.  He was inspired to create AnitaPoems.com  for his wife who he refers to as his ‘soulmate’.  In his words, he wanted to “show people how simple gestures like rhyming poems can bring love into their lives (just like it happened to me). And writing poems for others who need them is the most genuine and authentic way I could possibly think of accomplishing this.”
In only a matter of hours, this arrived in my inbox.
He wrote the poem in 1st person, as though I might be speaking to Gina….
Gina
I have been blessed,
with a remarkable friend.
How much she means to me,
through these words I extend.

The day that I met her,
I knew from the start.
This little brunette,
has the most generous heart.

Our bond and our journey,
eight priceless years.
We’ve shared so much,
both smiles and tears.

She’s a beautiful lady,
that I truly adore.
Gives to so many,
and strives to do more.

Obstacles and tragedies,
she tackles each one.
Raised the most kind-hearted,
daughter and son.

I’m always amazed,
at her courage and will.
All of her dreams,
I know she’ll fulfill.

She has a special talent,
even time stops to look.
The most beautiful photos,
over the years she has took.

Gina lives life,
with the most humblest grace.
Children in need,
she will always embrace.

Even when against a wall,
she talks about giving back.
She’ll conquer cancer,
with a faith-filled attack.

This wonderful friend,
continues to inspire.
Her zest for life,
I truly admire.

Her impact on my life,
has been way beyond vast.
Our beautiful friendship,
forever shall last.

I have pure faith in Gina,
the stars are aligned.
The world is better,
with her love that’s so kind.

Before today, Martin and I had exchanged but a few tweets…
Thank you, Martin, for putting prayer into action, for being an example of faith, for giving me yet another reason to believe in the goodness of people.  I’m so grateful for the gift of your words.
Filed Under: Featured Content, Give Good Get Good, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , , , ,

The Beauty of Giving Even After The Holidays

December 31, 2011 By 1 Comment

They are at this perfect age, my small people.  The magic of the holidays wrapped around them like a favorite blanket as we made Thanksgiving dinner together and I don’t think they have yet allowed it to slip from their shoulders. They have been wide-eyed and giddy for the past month.  And it isn’t just the thought of ‘getting’ that has them bouncing off the walls – it is the giving.

And that, by far, is the best gift I could ask for.

My small dude had only opened one present – his gift from Santa before he was pushing me on to the couch to put a colorful package on my lap and a matching one in his sister’s hands.  Our gifts:  matching necklaces. Hearts. Mom and Daughter.  An idea from his very own five year old soul. The gift itself is a treasure.  His love of giving is priceless.

Care to spread that giving around?  I have an idea for you.

As much as I love the gifts I received, I know (from experience) that we all typically receive a few gifts that simply find their way to the back of a closet and do nothing but take up space.  Those gifts simply weren’t right for US, but they may be perfect for someone else.

So sell them on eBay.  AND? Donate the money to one of your favorite charities through ebay Giving Works. There are more than 18,000 nonprofits registered with eBay Giving Works including The American Red Cross, Susan G Komen, Habitat for Humanity and two of my personal favorites Operation Shower and the Wounded Warrior Project.

Selling with eBay Giving Works is easy.  I promise.

  • You choose the charity you want to help.
  • You decide how much you want to donate.  It doesn’t have to be the full final sale price – it could be anywhere from 10% to 100%. When the item sells, the donation is automatically made.
  • You create your special listing – there will be a special blue and yellow ribbon on your listing to designate it as a ‘Giving Works’ item.
  • Naturally, you let people know you have the item for sale as you normally would.
  • You receive a credit for your fees that matches the percentage of your donation.  If you donate 25% of your sale, eBay will credit you back 25% of your seller’s fees. If you donate 100%, you pay nothing.

And if you simply want to support the Giving Works program with your purchases, look for that blue and yellow ribbon – as those items for sale are the ones that will benefit the many charities on the list. So far, more than $237 million has benefited these charities through this program as a result of eBay buyers and sellers since it began in 2003 (just watch the real-time ticker on the homepage!). Amazing.

Happy Selling.  And Giving.

 

Filed Under: Give Good Get Good, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , ,

It Is Better To Give Than To Receive: Why You Should Give During the Holidays

December 21, 2011 By Leave a Comment

In late November  of 1995 I lay in bed, looking around my studio apartment, trying in the dark to pick out things I mght be able to sell.  My $450 rent was due in a matter of days and I didn’t have it.  I was working two jobs. I was temping during the day.  I was cocktailing at night.  I was interning at KGTV, the ABC affiliate, on the weekend.

I wasn’t making enough money to pay my bills and pursue my ‘dream job’ of becoming a television reporter.  In what little free time I had, I was making copies of VHS tapes as resumes and mailing them to News Directors around the country hoping someone, anyone, would give me a shot.  Butte, Montana?  I’d move there.  Fargo, North Dakota. You bet.  Paducah, Kentucky?  Bring it on. Dubbing video tapes and mailing them out was an expensive process.  And it was sapping my funds.

So I had no money.  I could cover my utilities.  My phone.  My gas.  I’d even paid my student loans.  Because when you go to college, you have to pay that money back, even if you can’t get a job.

But my $450 in rent?  I didn’t have it.

I cycled through tears of desperation, a knot in my stomach the size of Butte, Montana (stupid News Director – why wouldn’t he just give me a job??) and was now approaching I-give-up.  I woke the next morning, dragged myself out of bed and prepared to cycle through my 9am-5pm and 6pm-11pm day.  Again.

My eyes were red from crying.  Attractive.  I know.

But that evening something happened.

In my mail was an envelope.  Hand written. You know how it feels to open hand-written mail.  It is a little like Christmas every time.  What could it be?  Who is it from?  Is it a card? A letter? A note?  This one had no return address.  And a blurred post mark.

I opened it.  American Express gift cheques.  Five of them.  One hundred dollars.  One hundred dollars.  One hundred dollars.  One hundred dollars.  Fifty dollars.  

You do the math.  Exactly the $450 I needed for rent. 

That’s it.  No name.  And remember the postage was blurred.  I couldn’t even tell if it had been mailed in San Diego where I was living at the time.

Included with the checks:  A simple note, “Merry Christmas, Danielle.  We hope this helps.” Helps??!!??  It SAVED me. I sat on my bed and cried.  It was like being tossed a life vest.  The relief washed over me in waves. I suddenly felt as though I could breathe again. I spent the first few hours trying to figure out WHO my guardian angel could possibly be. And then I realized they didn’t want to be discovered.  They wanted to help me anonymously – to preserve my pride and maybe, just maybe, they hoped I would be inspired to pass it on someday.

This is someday.

Give Good, Get Good.

At this time…when I was only 22, I was on the receiving end of the needing.  I was on the receiving end of the giving.

But not anymore.  I’m older, wiser.  My student loans are a thing of the past.  Now, I can give.  I decided right then I wouldn’t always be the needy one.  And as soon as I could – I’d be the anonymous giver.   I try throughout the year to do little things that make a difference…. but it is during the holidays that I find the greatest joy.

Do you know that it is better to Give than to Receive?

Adopt a family.  Donate toys to a Children’s hospital or the Ronald McDonald House.  Pick a homeless shelter, call and ask what they might need. Remember that your every act serves as an example for your children.  They will model what you DO, not simply what you TELL them to do.

I encourage you to watch the news for inspiration…. take for example the story of the Secret Santas invading Kmarts in dozens of states, paying off layaways for families who might not otherwise be able to provide Christmas for their children.  If you have the means, and haven’t found a way to give yet, march your happy self in to one and pay off a balance.  How easy is that?  And how beautiful?

It is even happening right here in St. Louis.

I sat with my small people last night….as I do each year, talking about what it means to give during the holidays.  They are only five and seven.  I know they are young.  I can’t expect them to understand everything.  They make Christmas lists for Santa. They spend too much time saying, “I want….” and “I need….”  and I truly want them to experience the joy that comes from helping someone else. I know, on some level, I’m succeeding…. as we talked, they grabbed their piggy banks, shook loose some dollars and change and said, ‘we want to help too’.

I was asked yesterday what I ‘get’ for doing something for someone else…. in other words… ‘what is in it for me?’

I wish my heart would turn a different color, my eyes would literally sparkle, that the outside of me could belie the giddy on my inside.  That’s what I ‘get’.

Joy.  

I get to know I am giving someone what was given to me in 1995.

Relief.  The ability to breathe again.  A smile.

And now that I’m a mom?  I’m hopeful I’m teaching my small people a life lesson they will carry with them:

Give Good, Get Good.  Pass it on.

Happy Holidays, friends.

Photo Credit: Flickr Artotem

Filed Under: Featured Content, Give Good Get Good, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , ,

Teen Jonah Mowry Shares Bullying Video

December 5, 2011 By 2 Comments

I know this wasn’t published yesterday.  But I cried as I watched it.

14 year old Jonah Mowry delivers a powerful testimonial of what it is like to live and choose to live as a bullied teenager.

Seven years ago, I would have found this video terribly sad, but now, today…. I view this 4:36 video with a different filter.  I’m a mom… and this teen, this boy…. this child could be mine.  And it breaks my heart.

His courage is worth watching.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Featured Content, Featured Videos, Give Good Get Good Tagged With: , , ,

Fighting Child Hunger: Through The Eyes of Children at Marian Middle School

November 21, 2011 By Leave a Comment

It is easy to give when you have a lot.  You know what I mean.  The kid’s school says ‘food drive’ and you head to the pantry to grab a series of canned goods you know you can replenish on your next trip to the store.  You pass someone with a sign that says, “Homeless: Will Work For Food”… you have cash in your purse, so you put some in their hand.

It doesn’t hurt. You didn’t have to think about it long and hard.  You didn’t wonder how you would ‘manage’ to feed the hungry mouths in your family while choosing to feed someone with a greater need than your own.

It is the people who give when it isn’t easy…. the people who teach children to give when it isn’t easy that I admire the most. They are the ones you and I should be taking lessons from on a regular basis.

Take Marian Middle School in St. Louis, Missouri….an oasis of education, of love, of giving….for 72 girls in 5th through 8th grade.  The school is in its 12th year and pulls girls from all around the St. Louis area…23 different zip codes, to be exact.

The school is making it a goal to break the cycle of poverty through education.  All of the families who entrust their girls to Marian are at or below the poverty level, and yet… they give.  The school, the girls and their families are actively working to fight hunger in their community. Through their efforts, they are also combating childhood obesity.

And it is amazing.

When I agreed to work with Con Agra Foods for the third time on their Child Hunger Ends Here Campaign, I loved that they were partnering with Schools Fight Hunger.  Why?  Because I think it is so important to involve kids in the process of combating child hunger.

And the girls at Marian do it with gusto – just like they do everything…learn, greet others and spread kindness.

Let me share the highlights…. since these girls and the men and women who lead them wouldn’t settle for just ONE way to fight this epidemic.

The Garden Project – A garden planted and cared for by the girls of Marian that provides food for the school’s Prepare and Share program (detailed below) as well as a few families in need.  The additional benefit of the Garden, is, naturally, its ability to serve as an educational tool. (think science class) In partnership with Saint Louis University, the Garden belongs to the entire school, but is the ‘baby’ of the 5th grade class.  It is lovingly planted and maintained by small hands.

Prepare and Share.  The girls learn that Cooking Matters.  For seven weeks, these young women at the school will rotate through a program that helps them to understand how to make healthy food choices.  They learn to shop for the ‘right’ foods. While many of these girls have food at home, it isn’t often the most nutritious. They keep food journals.  They learn to cook at the school and for their families. They take food home and, in fact, their families will even ‘grade’ them on their efforts.

Service Learning Class: The Lesson: Hunger is not just a ‘me’ issue.  It is local.  It is national.  It is global.  The girls of Marian are learning to combat hunger through service.  With pockets full of pennies and minds brimming with bright ideas, these young woman work to raise money for Kids Against Hunger – an organization that provides packaged foods to 3rd World countries.  With a goal of $1000, these girls have planned an ice cream social, a movie night and a lemonade sale.  And daily, they come to school, change clutched tightly in their little hands. Of the $800 they have raised so far, more than $200 has been in coins.

Last year, in a student-lead Thanksgiving effort, the school collected more than 500 canned goods for Hosea House, an organization that provides service to needy families in South St. Louis in times of emergency.  It won’t surprise you to know they are doing the same thing again this year.

They give, expecting nothing in return.

Let this be a lesson to us.  If the smallest among us can give almost all that they have to make sure no one around us goes hungry, why not let them be our example?

This post is part of a series in my effort to raise awareness about Child Hunger.  I have been working with Con Agra Foods on their Child Hunger Ends Here Campaign.  All thoughts are my own.

 

 

Filed Under: Featured Content, Give Good Get Good, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , , ,

Turning Gratitude Into Motivation: Eleven Things Food Banks Need This Holiday Season

November 14, 2011 By 4 Comments

I’m not much for cliches… in fact, they typically make me break out in hives, however, poet Thomas Haynes Bayly was on to something when he first penned, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” back in 1884.  At least that seems to be the case for the small people and I.  Having spent the better part of the past six weeks apart, we ‘re behaving like conjoined twins.

When we aren’t physically separated for something serious, like….say, school… we are somehow in each other’s presence.  They won’t eat dinner without sitting in chairs that are touching mine, they won’t change for bedtime without me in the room, they won’t do homework without me leaning over their shoulders.

I am grateful for them.  And though we always talk so much about gratitude in November as we lead up to Thanksgiving, I don’t need this holiday to be reminded of their love and gratitude for me.

And yet – this holiday will be extra special for the time we will have together.  For the presence we will experience, for the gratitude I can teach, for the food we will prepare and share together.

I’ve seen gratitude posts popping up daily on Facebook – once a day for the month of November, many of my friends are taking the time to focus on what they are most grateful for in their lives.  I love this.  It is powerful to focus our energies in a positive way AND being that there are 30 days in the month, we are forced to move past the basics of kids, extended family, health and a roof over our heads.

Oh….. and food.

Whenever we talk Thanksgiving, food is ALWAYS top of mind.  What will you cook?  What is your favorite dish? Where will you be eating?  Does eating too much turkey REALLY make you sleepy?

But while we are busy saying ‘Thank you”…. (an important thing to do, absolutely), it is easy to forget that for 1 in 6 Americans (1 in 4 KIDS)…. these questions don’t even matter.  Because they are hungry. And they aren’t even sure where their next meal will come from – let alone a holiday meal.

If this is your first time visiting me here, you probably don’t know I’m passionate about ending Child Hunger.  If you’ve stopped by before, you’ve heard me talk about this already. I figured now, as I’m surrounded by the goodness that is my small people, I would share something you might not know…  there are 11 items that are most IN NEED at food banks during the holiday season.

This list was compiled by Feeding America:

  1. Cereal
  2. Pasta
  3. Rice
  4. Canned fruits and vegetables
  5. Canned meals such as soups, chili, pasta
  6. 100% juice
  7. Peanut butter
  8. Pasta sauce or spaghetti sauce
  9. Macaroni & cheese
  10. Canned protein – tuna, chicken, turkey
  11. Beans – canned or dry

So, this is me, giving you a gentle nudge – a love tap, if you will…. if you can spare any of these items in the next few weeks, I promise you they won’t go to waste.  Since my efforts to end Child Hunger have been dedicated to the Child Hunger Ends Here program through Con Agra Foods for the last few years, it is worth pointing out that Hunts’ Chef Boyardee, Peter Pan and Manwich are just a few of the Con Agra brands that supply some of the 11 items listed above.

Also – Child Hunger Ends Here is working in collaboration with School’s Fight Hunger.  To register your school or for more information on how your school might get involved, read more.

 

Filed Under: Featured Content, Give Good Get Good, Recent Posts Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Older Posts