The EVOlution of Intention. Inspired by Liz Strauss and Carol Roth.

I collect inspiration like other people hoard coins, or American Girl dolls, or signed baseballs or those silly little Precious Moments.

And by ‘collect’ I mean seek out, absorb, implement.

I read voraciously.  I listen deeply.  I watch others who do things well.  I think all.the.time.

So naturally, if given the opportunity, I will listen to and take the advice of successful people.

Enter Liz Strauss, Carol Roth and Ghennipher Weeks.  Do you know them?  Well, you should.  Not because they are amazing and successful.  Not because they know how to buckle down and work for what they want, not because they tell you that you are wonderful (they won’t unless they mean it)

But simply, because they are real and they have earned their following by being honest and forcing those of us who listen to take a long hard look in the mirror. Carol’s tagline is ’sunshine and puppy-dogs not included’ - and she means it.

But let’s focus on my collection of inspiration.  I entered the “Doing Business in a Social Media World’ session at EVO (Evolution of Women in Social Media Conference) this past weekend with my imaginary cocktail shaker….prepped to gather the ingredients I would need to move forward, ready to shake them into the concoction that would make sense for me.

I walked away irresistible (Liz’s word - and what she demanded of us).  My shaker was filled with strategy, the value of my time, heart, and intention.

I’ll explain.

When I stop to consider where I am in this wild and wonderful world of blogging and social media, I know a few things:

• I work hard.  Late nights and long hours don’t phase me.
• I adore this wild, wild west that is social media
• Having been a traditional journalist, my approach to everything I do is tinged with my experience - and that makes me stronger.  Story-telling is where my heart is.
• I aim to operate as a professional.  The ‘me’ you see online is the same ‘me’ you get in person.
• I love video.  And by love, I mean adore-can’t-live-without.  It is a vehicle to share the ‘real me’.  It is a story-telling tool.  I believe it is the future.

However….(this is where the cocktail shaker is coming in handy - during the assessment and subsequent attack on my flaws)

• I can’t always claim to have worked smart.
• I have had no business plan.  That’s right - none.
• I have often fallen in to the category of dreamer, not doer.
• I have failed to value my time, making it impossible for others to do so.

But this changes now.

Shake.  Stir.  Pour.

Liz and Carol asked if anyone was willing to pronounce themselves irresistible and state their intention (note:  the difference between a dream and a goal?  INTENTION)

I will confess.  I hesitated.

Enter inner dialogue:

If I say it out loud, it becomes more than a pipe dream, it becomes my responsibility.  If I say it out loud someone might remember and ask me about it.  What if I haven’t done it?  What if I haven’t even put my foot on the yellow brick road? What if…what if…what if.  Now wait a minute, Danielle, what are you really afraid of?  This is the first step.  Without the responsibility, without allowing for the input and guidance of others, without intention, you have nothing.

I raised my hand, I gripped the microphone.  And, in front of 75 odd people - some I know and some I don’t, I said, “This has always been my dream.  I would love to have a television show focused on telling people’s stories - average, everyday people.  We all have a story.  We all have something to learn from each other - and I want to be the one sharing those stories.  The caveat with the show - it will have to ‘give back’. ”

What does that ‘giving back’ look like?

I want to put computers in classrooms, food in the bellies of kids, provide cars for people to get to work, award scholarships to allow kids to go to college, bring military men and women home to see their families, grant wishes for kids who won’t live to grow up…..and so on and so on.

It is both a specific goal and a broad one.

It is my intention.

Needing Advice for When a Mom Travels

It is bedtime.  We have said prayers and are doing our final wishes of sweet dreams.

She doesn’t even blink.

Her Hershey Kiss colored eyes stare right into mine until they start to fill with tears.  She puts her little heart into my hands and whispers:

“I don’t want you to go.  When you are gone, I miss you.  And I love you.”

Her Oscar worthy performance complete with a single drop of water spilling from her left eye, right on cue.

My heart gets tight.  I struggle with the words that just *might* make her feel better.  I’ve been traveling a bit lately. I know in my soul that she is well-taken care of when I’m gone.  She is loved and surrounded by goodness in the form of a perfect daddy, doting grandparents and little friends who keep her running, jumping and playing - as any almost-six year old should.

And yet, the guilt is piercing.  It weighs on me.  I hoist it on my shoulder like an extra carry on - unable to place it firmly under the seat in front of me.

This ‘being a mom’ thing is damn hard.

I ask if I can snuggle with her for a while.  I wrap myself around her, making a twin out of her double bed. She leans into me and sighs.  I take small comfort knowing I have this time with her.  We chat softly about the days I will be gone: Thursday and Friday are packed with Vacation Bible School, time at the pool and a slumber party.  Saturday - her brother’s t-ball game, more pool time and fun with MaMa and PaPa sprinkled throughout.

And then: Poof…..just like magic, I’m home on Sunday morning.

I remind her the last time I was gone she was having too much fun to come to the phone for a chat.  That meant it was me holding back the waterworks.

We lock eyes again.  I kiss her nose, her eyes, her cheeks.  I thank God she is mine and that I am blessed to have my days with her.  I know we will have these same moments when I travel again.  I will try to focus on the beauty of being loved enough to be missed.

My sweet, sweet baby girl.  Growing up so fast….no longer really a ‘baby’, but still mine nonetheless.

Does this happen to you?  How do you handle your little ones delicately?

Since this challenge is new for me - my small people have never before balked at my leaving….  I would LOOOOOVE any suggestions you might have.

Missing Children, Attempted Kidnappings and my Paranoia

See UPDATE below:

“Danielle, now seriously….let’s talk about this for a minute….I know they aren’t 12 and 14, but they (the small people) can be in the backyard for a little bit by themselves.”

My husband is a trusting soul, longing for our kids to both develop independence and experience the care-free-fabulous-playtime he remembers from childhood.

My response to this was too long-winded and preachy to re-write, but the conclusion goes something like this, “I know I’m paranoid, but I can’t do it.”

Naturally, I asked Twitter.

And you all?  Well, you responded and I love that.

I love that you shared your opinions, asked questions and helped me to think about it all.

Clearly it helps to understand the specifics, right?  So, I’ll share.  We live in a 2-story house with a ‘walk-out’ basement….meaning you enter my home from the front door at ground level, but walking out the back door takes you onto a deck….the backyard is level with the basement.  Make sense?  So looking out my back windows, you have to look down…and to get to my kids in a hurry, I’d be running onto the deck and down the stairs.

I also don’t have a fence.  And while I live in what I believe to be a very safe neighborhood (don’t many of us feel that way?) we also live on a corner - which means there is a street right next to my home.

Just when I’m wondering if I’m too overly protective….wouldn’t it be fine if the kids just played on the playground - I’m right by the window - and I’d keep the door open, I remember watching the news this morning…..

If you aren’t familiar with this story, this is Kyron Horman.  The 7 year old disappeared from inside his school nearly a week ago.  News stories say his step mother walked into school with him, snapped a proud photo of him in front of his science fair project, walked with him towards his classroom and then left.  Kyron’s teacher marked him absent because he never made it to class.  It was discovered he was missing when he didn’t come home from school.

Are you kidding me?  This bares repeating: He disappeared from INSIDE his school.

Yes, I know this is a few thousand miles from me.  Yes, I know this is a unique (and horrifying situation). But this kind of thing happens.

I work to keep myself calm and rational.

And then I start to doubt my paranoia again….only to receive an email titled, “Attempted Abduction at Zachary Park”.

Yes, the email is a forward.

But, Zachary Park is in a suburb of St. Louis.

AND, I have been to this park, many times.  It is less than 15 minutes from my home. It is big and difficult to watch more than one child at a time - especially if you are with kids of varied ages…they will automatically head for different ends of the park.  Oh and there are multiple exits.

The original email was sent out today and is relayed by a friend of the family who experienced the ‘attempted kidnapping’.  The child is 5 years old. This is an excerpt from the story:

The girl was walking when 2 women that she had never seen before came up on both sides of her.  One looked about 40 and the other a teenager.  The older woman brushed up against the girl and grabbed her hand and started holding it while the other walked on the other side of her.  They didn’t say a word to her.  They were leading her toward the entrance when her mom saw her and yelled her name.  The older woman turned, looked over her shoulder at the mom and kept walking toward the entrance.  She yelled her daughter’s name again and the girl let go and ran toward her mom with a very scared look on her face.  The mom was so confused and in shock at the time that all she could do was hold her daughter and make sure she was OK.  By the time she thought to go after the women they were long gone and not seen again.

Chills.  Fear. What if that mom had been talking to a friend?  And not watching her daughter every second?  I’ve done it.  I’ve glanced away.  I’ve helped my son down the slide and then found my heart rate quickening as my eyes dart from one child to another, looking for my little girl.  I’ve felt that fist let go of my heart when I finally see her.

The email mentions that the police are involved.

Again…. a misunderstanding?  A rarity? If you are thinking I don’t have confirmation - you are correct.

You know what?  I don’t care.

It is my job to keep my children safe.  And after today, my husband understands my point of view - even if he wishes it could be different.

And if that means they suffer through some of Mommy’s excessive paranoia, so be it.

I was sent this email that is apparently in response to a request for more information from the Lake St. Louis Police Department regarding the ‘Attempted Kidnapping’  at Zachary Park:

Mrs. XXXXX,

I received your email via our website and wanted to provide information

regarding your concern.

We did receive a report of suspicious circumstances about two weeks ago

regarding a woman holding a 5 year old child’s hand.  The mother called

the child’s name and the child returned to the mother.

The incident was reported to us several hours later and a check of the

area failed to produce any persons of interest.

My detective spoke to the mother whose concern centered on caution

rather than fear.  In her words, I think that abduction is rather

strong.  It may have been entirely innocent but I think we should be

cautious.

There is no indication at this time that there was an attempted

abduction but we continue to investigate.  We have shared this

information with other agencies in order to alert them just in case.

There have been a number of emails that have surfaced in the community

alleging that it was, in fact, an attempted abduction.  In order to

reassure residents, I plan to do an article in Newstime speaking about

child safety in general and addressing this specific incident so that

residents are adequately informed and rumors do not prevail.

Please feel free to share this email with others who may be concerned

and feel free to call me should you have any questions.

Chief Mike Force

mforce@lakesaintlouis.com

Finding My Center

Sometimes life gets a little heavy.

You find yourself settling under layer after layer of junk until your breathing gets labored and you struggle to focus.

You can’t work, you can’t play, you question every little thing you do - from your ability to take care of your family - even doing laundry seems complicated  - to completing work tasks - are you sure you can get it done?

The little voices in your head work both ways….  ”Of course you can get it done….” battling it out with, “I’ll never finish….”

When this happens….as is clearly the case right now….I try to focus on what is most important in my world - my center.

This picture showcases my center.

Four people - two big, two small.  Experiencing joy in the setting I love most in the world.

Somehow, some way, this moment captures the place I need to be, the feelings I need to internalize.

I’m trying.

What do you do when you feel a little lost?

A Few Questions for the PR Minded

This is not intended to be a rant.  At all.

Merely a question, or a conversation starter.

File this under Improving Blogger and Pr Relations.

Because I think the collective voice of the two sides is tremendously powerful.  But there is still a gap in understanding. (note: this is not a blanket ‘this-applies-to-everyone’ statement)

I have worked with some amazing, fantastic PR individuals and firms.  That goes without saying. And I would love to encourage that Blogger/PR Relationship. And yet, I am perplexed by something.

I receive emails like this a lot:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Hi Danielle,

Over the past few months, there has been anticipation around the release of XXXXXXXXXX in the U.S.… The wait is over! Your readers will be excited to know that XXXXXXX will be available for pre-sale, starting today at both XXXXX and XXXXX for $XXX.XX

The product will be available in-stores and for online shipment starting March 28. Please keep in mind that quantities are limited and are available while supplies last. Feel free to share the pre-sale information with your readers, or direct them to the below Web sites for more information on how to reserve a unit for themselves.:

(links to sites)

Additionally, your readers will enjoy the new features on XXXXX including:

Best,

XXXXXX

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

I have to confess, I am perplexed.  Here are my questions:

*Is the hope that I will just copy and paste the press release on to my site?

*That I will be so excited about the release that I will tweet the links? (Despite the fact that my family will NEVER be using this product)

*Does this mean that the sender does not know that I am NOT a Deal/Coupon site?

*Does this type of blind email work?

*What would be the most helpful feedback?

I get lots of what I call ‘news-type’ press releases: St. Patrick’s Day Party Ideas, 7 year old girl writes book, Ways to Combat H1N1, How to be smart on your taxes, etc.  These make some sense to me - partially because I’ve done a few HARO requests looking for an ‘expert’ on a topic and now I’m on a few email lists. But just a straight, ‘your readers will love this/post it’ seems odd.

If I am misunderstanding, set me straight.

Also…..I don’t know if you got this email - I know some people who did, but really?

Hi,

I’m currently doing web promotion for my client. I was wondering if you’re
willing to do a blog post for them on extraordinarymommy.com. My client is
willing to offer $50 for this blog post. We can also provide the blog post
content according to your guidelines.

If you’re interested, payments are sent via paypal. Or if you have a different
proposal, let me know and let’s see how we could work things out.

Thanks in advance,
Iris

Are there people (Iris could be anyone - I’m not saying she is a PR gal) who believe I am so desperate to make $50 that I am willing to agree to post about an anonymous ‘client’? That I will potentially sacrifice content on my site for someone who clearly knows nothing about me?

I want to be clear about something.  I am NOT questioning sponsored posts.  I have done sponsored posts.  I am not questioning anyone’s desire to make money from their site  - in fact, I hope that you can.  However, I don’t think it would be wise to agree to sponsored content without know what that content is.  And I question this particular approach.

That would be a ‘no, thank you very much‘.

I would also like to address this from a, “what can bloggers do to improve relations’ standpoint.  Post coming soon.

I would love to know your thoughts. Share away.

Edited to add to the conversation 3/9/10:

I wanted to share a comment I received via email from a PR friend of mine here in St. Louis.  Brian works at Blick and Staff Communications. He wrote:

What do you love about the Olympic Games?

Here are my thoughts….share yours!

Living Olympic Core Values - Gold Medalist, Vonetta Flowers

She learned the National Anthem as she pictured herself winning a Gold Medal at the Olympics.

It was during a wonderful conversation the other night with former Olympian, Vonetta Flowers that I began to see the woman behind the record setting Gold Medal for bobsledding. It was so much fun to chat with someone who has accomplished something I have only dreamed of….

9 year old Vonetta Flowers could run faster than most boys she knew.  With a track coach who saw something special as he watched her run, and a mother who believed she could do or be anything she wished, this young girl grew up grasping for gold.

In 2000, after what felt like a lifetime of training and competing in track and field and singing that National Anthem, Vonetta’s husband noticed a flyer advertising tryouts for a newly forming bobsled team, “The only thing I knew about bobsledding was what I had seen in the movie, Cool Runnings.  Trying out was like a joke at first, but God had been preparing me - without the years of track and field training, I wouldn’t have been successful.”

Since I am clearly not a bobsledder, Vonetta was kind enough to explain the traits needed to excel: Bobsledders need speed and power, two things Flowers possessed in excess.  So the ‘push’ was what she had to learn - and after 18 months of training in Germany, she had it mastered.

In 2002, at the Salt Lake City Winter Games,  Vonetta hit one milestone after another. (Can you believe she told me she doesn’t get nervous??  Just anxious because she had to wait until close to the end of the Olympic Games to compete)  It was her first Olympic Games as a bobsledder and it was the first Olympic Games for the Woman’s bobsledding team at all.  They won Gold - in their inaugural year, giving Flowers yet another distinction - the first African American woman to win gold at a Winter Olympics.

Like me, Vonetta is now a mom - she has 7 year old twins and a 7 month old baby.  But the busy lifestyle at home hasn’t slowed her down a bit.  In fact, she has turned some of her attention to helping women look and feel their best.  She is working on behalf of the Procter and Gamble brands that make her life easier, “My travel and training schedules can make life pretty hectic so I’m glad I can find products like Pantene, Secret and COVERGIRL at the local drugstore wherever I may be.”

She confided to me, “I’m never pampered anymore, so products like these are great.  Secret lasts - I can put it on, even at night and still be fresh in the morning.”

And she is singing the praises of Pantene, “I constantly battle dry hair and need products that are easy and accessible.  Pantene Relaxed & Natural Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner for women of color that helps keep my hair from breaking  during styling and leaves it smooth and moisturized.”

Vonetta credits much of who she is today to her own mother, “She is my best friend.  She has been through it all.  I wouldn’t be here without her.”

Like so many of us, Vonetta recognizes the importance of moms in our lives.  Procter and Gamble is taking an extra special step to honor those special women - the moms who live Olympic Core Values: Excellence, Respect and Friendship.

Head to ThankYouMom.com to nominate a mom you know who is living those Core Values - the winner, and the mom she nominates will win a trip to the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London to cheer on Team USA.

If you haven’t seen the P&G Commercials for the ThankYouMom campaign - I will warn you - they might make you cry. ( I did.)

I am extremely proud to be heading to the Olympic Games in just a matter of days to represent Procter and Gamble and to give you an up close look at their Family Home and the many athletes and families they are supporting. The ThankYouMom Campaign is magical.

(Here’s a teaser for you - I chatted with Gold Medal Speedskater (and dad) Chad Hedrick and Skeleton World Cup Champion (and mom) Noelle Pikus-Pace today - those interviews will be up tomorrow)

Joining me on this tremendously exciting experience - three other fantastic bloggers:

Nicole Feliciano of MomTrends is in Vancouver right now.

After me, Isabel Kallman of Alpha Mom, and April Hussar of Betty Confidential will make their way to the Olympic Games.

I hope you will follow along.

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