Breathe in….Breathe out…repeat
I’m having one of those days. (or couple of days)
I’m horrendously disorganized - like ‘can’t-find-my-checkbook-amidst-the-massive-pile-of-papers’ kind of disorganized.
Every time my husband asks me a question, I panic - like, “what time is Coop’s doctor’s appointment tomorrow?” or “do you have you receipts from Vancouver?” or even “are the dishes in the dishwasher clean?” Why do I panic, you ask? Because I DON’T KNOW. I should know these things, right? Doctor’s appointments, receipts, home stuff? But, right now, I don’t.
My house is a disaster zone. Like ‘the-housekeeper-is-on-strike-disaster” except I don’t have a housekeeper, so apparently, I’ve been on strike.
The laundry has been done since 1987.
And dusting? Fuggehtaboutit.
My kids are not listening to me. At all. I say, “Delaney let’s get your homework out so we can get started on it.” and she promptly heads to the cabinet, pulls out a coloring book and sits down next to me to color. So, not only does she ignore me (I still have a voice, right?) but she doesn’t care that she is ignoring me.
The pile of papers I mentioned above? Threatening to take over my life.
And my kids - I adore them, and yet, I have severe mommy guilt. Cooper cracked his head open while I was in Vancouver. Clearly, he is fine - two staples (that come out tomorrow) and he was tackling Daddy and the dog the next day. But I felt (still feel) sad and guilty that I wasn’t here when it happened. Feels like a great big #mommyfail.
*Sigh*
We are hard on ourselves, aren’t we?
I’m so empowered by the events of the last four weeks - the traveling, the conversation, the people, the learning, the engaging, the amazing Olympics…..
And yet, I am tired. I am overwhelmed. And I need to focus on breathing. Do you ever have to do that? Just breathe? Well, that’s me.
Just breathing.
Barring the dust, laundry and paper fiasco, tomorrow is a new day, yes?
Delurker Day 2010
This is my official, “Hey, I know you are out there!” And I would love to hear from you.
So, take a minute and say hello.
Today is DeLurker Day. This means, you can sneak out just for a minute and let me know you are here! It is fun to know you are stopping by - and it gives me an extra chance to swing by to visit you. I know I am not always the best commenter, so this is equally motivating for me.
Won’t you say Hi? I promise I won’t bite. Not today at least 
Question of the Week. Do you have an answer?
The Potty Dilemma for Daddy
When is a little girl old enough to enter a public restroom by herself?
That’s the question I was posed this week. The women’s restroom is uncharted territory for this Daddy (rightfully so). It reminds me of Noah’s Ark.
Users enter in pairs. They’re gone for what seems to be 40 days and 40 nights (what takes so long?). And, when they exit, tears of laughter or tears of some sob story that I don’t usually understand are raining down their freshly powdered faces. I’ll take my chances in a flooded men’s room.
So, on Monday night, my 5-year old daughter, 3-year old son, and I went to Home Depot. We’re there about 8 seconds when both of them need to use the potty. Cooper comes with me, and Delaney says “Daddy, can I use the girl’s room by myself?”
What? Really? She’s 5. Isn’t there an age requirement? You know something, she said “girl’s room” and I said “potty.” Maybe she is old enough, and I’m the one that needs to grow up some (that’s true, but a story for another Daddy Diary).
“Okay, honey, but don’t read the walls, stare straight ahead, and don’t look down.” Oh, she’s going into a women’s room, not a men’s room. “Just make sure you wipe the seat (do you women do that too?and every time I guess?, huh, wild).
Cooper and I leave the restroom in about 3 minutes, and Delaney is no where to be found. Oh geesh, what have I done? She was too little to go in there by herself. She must have fallen in or worse, she’s listening to some story that a woman is telling from watching Oprah. Oh, no, I’m a terrible Dad.
The Women’s Room Door opens. “Hey Dad.”
“Are you okay?” I ask.
And, I want to ask all of these questions that I’ve always wanted answers to. What was it like? Are there groups of women in there telling stories? Are there really no urinals? Are the walls all freshly painted? Is there no graffiti? Does it smell like a rose garden? I start to ask…and you know what she says.
“Yes, Dad, I’m fine. I just had to use the girl’s room. Where did you think I was going? On a boat ride to the Zoo?
Ah, kid’s imaginations are a wonderful thing. She read my mind.
Halloween at our House
The first costumes:
A little Pumpkin carving with MY mom - all prepped for Trick or Treating:
Daddy is his standard costume (yep, he’s a penguin)
The fabulous neighborhood party:
And tonight’s costume choices (sometimes a girl just needs a change)
Making Lemonade from Lemons
Or Strawberry salads, smoothies and daquiris from strawberries.
Once again, I FORGOT to look in the fridge BEFORE I went grocery shopping. This means, I have four, yes four, containers of strawberries to use - and I will not let them go bad.
Strawberries for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I say!
Tonight - sliced for the kids, and my favorite strawberry salad for the grown ups.
Tomorrow - smoothies. If you have a strawberry recipe I could use - I would love to hear it!
A Full-Fledged Family Day
Sometimes you simply need to refocus, let go and remember who you really are.
Lately, I have spent a lot of time working - up late, distracted when it comes to family, single-minded in terms of work- computer attached to my hip.
And I have to confess, I love working. I love the adult interaction, the deadlines, the writing, the speaking, the media.
But at the end of the day, I need more to feel complete. If you aren’t a mommy, it may sound silly to include ‘kishes and hugs’ in my list of needs. Maybe it doesn’t make sense that hearing my daughter sound out a word is as fulfilling as getting a check for writing or consulting work, but it is. It makes me proud.
As much as I love to have outside work and interaction, I consider raising my children to be my ‘job’ as well as my passion. When I decided to start a family, I accepted the challenges, I reveled in the notion that it would be my privilege and responsibility to raise a small person to be strong, kind and independent.
Sometimes, I need to get back on track with what matters most.
This weekend was just what I needed.
A soccer game, a birthday party, bath time and family dinner. Church, reading stories, hide n’ seek, laundry, snuggling, snuggling and more snuggling.
I feel better. I feel refocused.
This makes me feel like a stronger mommy. And a more-focused worker.
