A regular dose of guilt

March 23, 2009 By 15 Comments

Can you help??

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Filed Under: A little bit of Everyday, Can we talk? Tagged With: , ,
  • http://www.louisehoeppner.blogspot.com Louise

    Wow that is a great question.
    My thing little saying is that my kids will never remember just how spotless the house was or if everything was perfect but they will remember how much time I spent with them and the things I did with them to make them feel special.. The work never ends and never ‘runs’ away, the kids do grow up and eventually leave home so take the time now to enjoy them! As the kids get older they can help with the house stuff and then there is more time to be together too!
    That is my two cents!
    Have a great day:)

  • http://www.beyondjustmom.com pam at beyondjustmom

    Love the video question! Balance is tough for me (and for all of us, I think). What helped me once is to move away from striving for balance. Balance implies there’s a perfect point on the teeter-totter of life that we can sustain, but that’s not possible. I like to think of phases or seasons: right now is the time to give myself a break, so later I’ll have energy to play with the kids. Young childhood is a season of sacrifice (with breaks!), but soon will be my season to rebuild my career. Just some examples. It works for me!

  • http://www.divaattitudes.blogspot.com Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous

    Balance is tough. But if you are talking about housework, sometimes it just isnt as important as it may feel when the kids are concerned. My neighbor use to talk about how her mom made sure the house was clean all the time, but she doesn’t really remember her DOING anything with them that didn’t envolve chores. If you are talking about business, I’d say just remember the same. Sometimes, not all the time, they have to come first. Take breaks to spend time with them. Take breaks to do family things. It’s okay to work just as long as you are not taking it to the extreme and forgetting about friends and family. Or do like I do and when the weekend comes, turn the kids into slaves so that there wont be so much work for you to do. LOL!

  • http://www.littlemisshannah.com Carrie

    First of all, VERY cool idea. I LOVE the video question!

    Honestly, I have TONS of guilt right now because I have yet to figure out a good balance between all of them right now. I look forward to everyone else’s advice they give you :)

  • http://corbettdancer.blogspot.com Kimberly

    I know it sounds silly, but sometimes (ok, LOTS of times) when I am working, I set an egg timer. I explain to my kids that if they will play quietly and allow me to finish what I am working on, when the timer rings, I will play whatever they want. Of course, I never actually finish what I am working on in the time allotted but I usually need a break anyways. Also, they know that I do have other commitments that I have to give some of my time to, but when it’s their turn, my attention is undivided and then I can really enjoy them.

  • http://beccasbackyard.blogspot.com Becca

    I think that is the first video blog I have ever seen. Do you script it or speak freely?

    As far as balance, I’m not sure how old your kids are. Can you do the work in the morning before they wake up or at night after they go to bed?

  • http://themommyrambles.blogspot.com Alexia

    I’m still trying to find the balance between work, the kids and Me time.

    I really like the egg timer idea! I was going to suggest rotating work time and play time with the kids.

    That Mommy guilt is horrid though let me tell you. I’m a single momma and it seems like no matter what I’m doing, I’m feeling guilty about not doing something else!

  • http://www.mothershandbook.net The Mother

    There is no way to be guilt free.

    But I give you special permission to take a beautiful day off and play with your kids.

    You’re welcome.

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.blogspot.com sarah mae

    I think to find the balance you have to prioritze and then go from there. What comes first for you? For me, my kiddos have to come before my “work” (taking care of my home, cleaning, blogging, etc.). So if it’s beautiful out and my kiddos want to play outside, I think that nurturing the relationship with them far outweighs anything else I could possible do! That’s not to say that I “spoil” them with all my time. We play for awhile first, and then mommy gets some things done, and then we’ll do something else fun. Guilt, I think, can be a good thing if it reminds us of what really matters in life. I think it is a bad thing if we constantly live out of it – yuck! We must strive to keep our priorities, but fall into grace when we fail (and we will!).

    Great question!

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.blogspot.com sarah mae

    Oh, one more thing…

    What could possibly be more important than raising human beings? Nothing can compare…nothing “should” come before that (I don’t like using should, but…) Who wants to look back on their life and regret missing out on relationships? Work will fade, success will fade, a clean home will fade (heck, that happens every five minutes!), but our relationships and how they affect others are eternal.

    :)

  • http://themomnerd.blogspot.com Sharla

    Work will always always be there. Your kids will not. So go get out there and play!!

  • http://www.writingsofawahm.com BrandyEllen

    What a great question! I have been “testing” some options that I thought of. One that seems to work the best is that I set my work day to start a bit later in the day {which means I work into the time my husband comes home, but I get more time with my kids}.

    First thing in the morning I eat breakfast with my boys after getting my oldest onto the bus for school. I drink my coffee and play some dinosaurs, race some cars, whatever my 2 year old wishes to do & I hold Baby Karter on my lap and pretend he is playing too. Then after about two hours of this, it’s 8am and I have my sister come over to help so baby and toddler are not unattended completely and I work.

    If my sister can not make it, I work in my living room versus the office area while sitting near the boys so they still have my attention, although they are pretty self sufficient in the means of playing so I don’t really need to do much other than to be here as an adult supervisor.

    Later one, hubby takes the kids outside to play so I can wrap up anything I didn’t quite finish during the day. But I rarely work passed 5pm EST.

    Hope this helps a little! Oh and by the way you are so cute! Love the scarf!!

  • http://www.art-slam.com Lu

    Wow…the question that seems to have no perfect answer. I schedule my work time around my kids when I am home with them. I work outside the home and run my blog and I try to do other artsy stuff and the social media and the Facebook and it is just a lot. When I am with my little people, I give them my attention. When I really have to work, I have a plan to get done as much as I can in a certain amount of time. Granted, all of this is in an ideal world, but a little planning has helped me to not feel so guilty for not spending every waking moment with my kids. Hope it helps and it is was great meeting you last month at Blissdom.

  • http://happyarewe.wordpress.com stacey @ tree, root, and twig

    I’ve loved reading the responses nearly as much as I loved the question in the first place. I don’t have it figured out. I try to cut myself some slack, realize that although each day is a gift, it’s also NOT a deal-breaker. It’s not like, “I didn’t take my child out today. This will be the day she’ll be talking about to her therapist in ten years.” I’m going to be honest – I don’t remember a lot of specific childhood memories, but I do remember how I *felt* during my childhood. Sometimes I think we devalue the cumulative efforts we put in day after day, and that it matters just as much how our child “feels” with us, how she “feels” about being part of our family, than it does about each individual specific moment we spend with them. I hope that makes some sense!

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