Can we talk? I mean….just for a few minutes? I promise not to take up too much of your time. Time IS your most valuable asset and all. But let’s snuggle in for a minute, pour a quick cup of coffee, or tea…or hell, wine.
I won’t judge. (Ha!)
And just chat.
I want you to know something.
You’ve got this.
By this, I mean motherhood. It doesn’t always feel that way. In fact, it probably often feels as though you’re guessing you’re way through the day, as though someone else has it all figured out and you’re guilty of being an imposter. Especially since you’re often in danger of being judged for the decisions you make.
But Sister-Friend, You Do You.
Breast feed. Bottle feed. Homeschool. Send them to traditional school. Make your own baby food (or all the food in your home) from scratch. Give them fast food. Be a working mom. Be a stay at home mom. Be a working-stay-at-home-mom. Let them play five competitive sports. Be the parent that says, ‘you can only do one activity at a time’.
Put your kids to bed at 7pm or 10pm. Travel for work. Show up at every single practice or game. Get down on your knees and play in the dirt with them, or be the mom that snuggles and reads. You know what? Maybe you’re good at both. Travel with your kids (even on airplanes!) or without them. Take them out to dinner with you or leave them home for the evening (I talked about this on The Today Show yesterday in regards to Chrissy Tiegen leaving her two week old daughter to go out to dinner with her husband John Legend and so many of her fans losing their darn minds about it). Feel free to ban devices at the dinner table or hand one straight to your antsy toddler to keep her occupied while you wait for a table.
But you know what would be super? If you could keep from giving the side-eye to the mom who is doing the opposite of whatever you choose to do.
You know who knows what is best for your family?
And whoever happens to be in the business of raising those small people with you.
That’s it. No one else.
All the rest of us can stay in our own lanes.
If your next door neighbor wants to let her kids play on a trampoline and you don’t think it is safe? Too bad for YOUR kids – but not for hers. You don’t think kids should be allowed to play outside barefoot? Put shoes on YOUR kids, but don’t worry about everyone else. Kids should eat their vegetables and shouldn’t have a snack before dinner? For goodness sake, make sure yours do just that.
You know what I hope moms do?
Love their kids. Keep them safe from harm. Raise them to be kind to others.
I hope your kids grow up understanding the beauty of free will and how marvelous it is that we live in a world where people can disagree respectfully. And, hey…even keep those opinions to themselves.
Let’s keep motherhood in that category. It may be a beautiful, life-changing, rewarding job. But it is also one of the most challenging things I have ever done in my life and I promise you – I second-guess myself more than you could ever imagine – the last thing I (or any mom needs) if someone else to do that for me.
I’m confident of two things:
*You’re doing a pretty extraordinary job with those small people, even when it doesn’t always feel like it. (Keep your chin up and keep at it.)
*And kindness wins.