Cymbalta Sucks

Well….that just about says it all, now doesn’t it? 

I was prescribed this ‘medication’ (hell-ish-ness) for Fibromyalgia…or so the neurologist said.  I asked about side-effects.  She said, “There really aren’t any.” (That is a direct quote, I might add)  Apparently, if she had told me of any, there might have been a placebo effect causing me to experience them.  Placebo or not, I had side-effects: dizziness, headaches, nausea, night-sweats, nighttime jaw clenching, and couldn’t go to the bathroom for a week.

So, I stopped.  Apparently this is a great big NO-NO in the world of Cymbalta.  Why, you ask?  Because a cold-stop puts you in a tremendous withdrawal stage.  I didn’t know what was happening because 1) it took 3 weeks for the Cymbalta to exit my system and begin the disaster that is withdrawal and 2) many of the withdrawal symptoms are similar to what I was originally experiencing (ie, the symptoms that sent me to the neurologist to begin with - the dizziness, numbness in my arm, loss of coordination)

Yes, I checked the Cymbalta website before I stopped.  And yes, it said to check with your health care provider before stopping, but they say that about starting an exercise program too.  And the side-effects of stopping were nausea, headaches and dizziness.

For a week, I continued to feel worse, day by day, hour by hour.  I couldn’t stand without feeling like I might fall, I lost my balance while I was standing, I was plagued by ‘inside shivers’ or ‘brain jolts’ as other Cymbaltatakers have said, my eyes played constant tricks on me including blurriness and double vision, my coordination all but disappeared….typing became a joke (if you saw my original post before one of my dearest friends called me to point out my multiple errors…you would have seen typo after typo which is unusual for me.  I counted 25 when I went in to correct it).

Fortunately, my primary doctor recognized my symptoms and put me back on the Cymbalta to rule out other potential problems.  However, my original symptoms and my Cymbalta-related ones are now combined….so, it will be at least one month+ before we are able to get me off this horrendous medication and once again, begin the task of determining what is causing the heaviness in my arm, the tingling sensations in my arm and leg, the loss of coordination and the pressure behind my right eye.

There are dozens of websites and forums dedicated to Cymbalta withdrawal.  Who knew?  And the details aren’t sugar-coated. When I told the neurologist’s nurse that I was scared by what I was reading…that many describe coming off Cymbalta as akin to heroin withdrawal, her response, “Well, for that week, it is.”

Don’t be jealous.

I have to take the Cymbaltafor one more week and then begin halving the dosage.  It will take at least 5 more weeks until I get to stop taking it all-together.  And then, who knows how long it will take for the nastiness to exit my system entirely and cause the badness I experienced this week.

Wish me luck.  Thank you for all of your emails and prayers!

Wordless Wednesday - Kiddie Grand Prix

In case you were worried…

that maybe Coop was neglected with today being so special for Delaney….

NOTSOMUCH!

Hole in One

Delaney’s first day of preschool was the Mommy equivalent of a hole in one.

This was a day that had caused much (and by MUCH…..I mean a hell of a lot) of angst in my life.  Delaney’s history does not lend itself to an easy separation or an excitement about new things.  Well…sometimes she’s excited BEFORE anything happens, but rarely AS it happens.  Hence my nervous stomach, my inability to sleep last night and my worrisome mothering.

All made worse by the fact that Delaney seemed genuinely enthusiastic.  So, I kept waiting for it to register:  that she would begin this adventure by herself, all alone.  I wasn’t even allowed to walk her in.  We drive up to the school every day, her teacher opens the car door, gets her out and a ‘responsible’ 5th grader walks her to her class.  I had explained all of this to her many times, yet she still asked if I would hold her hand on the way in to school.  So, I explained again.

This is how our heavenly morning broke down:

Breakfast.

A few photo ops on the way out the door (no Coop isn’t on his way to school, yes, Delaney wanted to make him happy, so she put his backpack on him too.)

“Mommy, can I take a cat nap on the way to school?” (No she didn’t sleep, but she did keep asking all of us to be quiet.)

“No, Mommy, don’t unbuckle me….let my teacher do it.” (I think the angels were singing when she said this!)

She bounced out of her seat, kissed me goodbye, said, “I love you, Mommy.” And my little girl was off.

  It was this amazing moment when I realized she really and truly is growing up.  I thought I would cry.  I actually didn’t. (Jeff did) I was in such utter awe of her little independence, I could only stare and smile.  And she can’t wait to go back.  I don’t know what has changed.  I don’t know why she is more comfortable, but she is.  When she climbed into the car at the end of her day, she hugged me and yelped, “Mommy, I missed you soooo much.”  What more can a Mommy ask for?

The sweetest thing

This is what I overheard as I was rounding out the end of my day:

Daddy: “Delaney, can I tell you something?”

Delaney: “Yeah….”

Daddy: “A few years ago, I said a prayer to God.  I asked him to send me a special gift….a little girl, just like you.”

Delaney:  “You did?”

Daddy: “Yes…and you know what?”

Delaney: (Leaning closer and whispering) “What?”

Daddy: “He did.  He answered my prayers.  I couldn’t have been given a more perfect little girl.  I am so proud of you and love you so much.”

Delaney: “I love you too, Daddy.”

Eavesdrop much?  Yes, I do.

Stand by

Taking my baby to her first day of preschool in just a few minutes.

I’m nervous….she always has such a hard time starting anything new….but so far, she is so excited.  Her school does a ‘drop off’, so her teacher will come take her out of the car…which I think will be great.

I hope her enthusiasm lasts.  Fingers crossed.  Big smile on my face. Promise to try not to tear up.

Like Father, Like Daughter

I mean seriously…..these are a series of pictures taken as part of an attempt to capture sweet moments with my daughter on Friday night…..

I wonder where she gets it?

Weekly Winners

 Finally, some adult girl time.

Such family pride…. 

 Loves of my life….

 Getting ready for school….a little pre-homework

My favorite thing to see….

A new dress for my girl…

The tipping point

This is the moment when I go from just THINKING I should stop snacking and eating not-so-good-but-oh-so-yummy-food.

Not when I step on the scale.  Not when I find myself snacking at night when I’m not even hungry.  Not when I decide I need something sweet (after I already had dessert).  Not when the food angel and devil on my opposite shoulders argue about the merits of potato chips or chocolate (and the devil wins).

But when I try on my jeans for fall and find that I will need access to a life sized shoe-horn to put them on.  And even then, I would need a baby doll top to cover the portion of me that is clearly stuffed into my now too-tight-but-favorite jeans.

Hello, Tipping Point.

I’m just sayin’.

God is talking to Delaney again

“Mommy…you are the best Mommy in the whole world.  God told me to tell you that.”

“God told you to tell me?”

“Yes, he said I should tell you.”

“You’ve been talking to God a lot lately, haven’t you?”

“Well….yeah.”

“When does He talk to you?”

“At night.”

“While you are sleeping or while you are waiting to fall asleep?”

“While I’m sleeping.”

“What else does He talk to you about?”

“I dunno.”

Guess that is the end of that for now.