Friday Night Lights – Dad saves the day….

It’s a Friday Night in Mid November.  Date night for my wife and I.  We’re heading out with some friends for the evening at a new little bistro in a cool part of town; a part of town where parents of young children don’t usually hang, but hey, we’re cool, well, my wife is cool anyway, and I can drive.  We’ve been looking forward to this since Monday morning at 4:45am when the alarm catapulted us into the work week.

It’s 7pm, there’s a knock at the door, and my savior, ahem, sitter has arrived.

“Kerri?  You’re watching the kids tonight?” I say in disbelief.

Kerri is my favorite.  She plays with the kids, not a movie watcher, makes them do crafts, cooks up some dinner when needed, has bailed us out at the last minute many times, and is always so polite.  Kerri is the perfect babysitter.  She’s a great kid.

But, Kerri is in her first year at West High.  And, tonight, West hosts their intra-conference rival in the Missouri State Football Quarterfinals.  From our back deck, one can hear the band, see the lights, even smell the B-B-Q as the fans started tailgating for this one at 4pm for the 7 o’clock kick off.  This is as close to West Texas and big time High School Football as Missouri gets.  Two big schools, a lot of collegiate-athletes-to-be on both rosters, and a crowd estimated at around 8,000 expected to witness this Monster Match-Up.

Kerri enters our house and stares out our back door at the Friday Night Lights that are shining over this little niche of suburbia.

“Kerri, when did you agree to watch Cooper?”  I ask, feeling really badly that we’re keeping her from the social event of her first year of High School.  And, to make matters worse, we can hear the PA Announcer from our living room.  The game is underway.

“You know what.  Don’t answer that.”  She goes on to tell me that she just wasn’t thinking, and admits to me that she called a friend of hers that lives in our subdivision that has babysat for us before, but does not go to West High.  But, the backup plan had plans too.

I stare at Kerri.  Kerri stares out the back window.  I stare at Cooper.  Cooper stares at his Scooby Doo football.  I stare at Danielle.  She smiles at me.  My wife and I are always on the same page.  I love that part of our marriage.

“Kerri, get out of here, go to the game.” I tell her.  And, that’s an order.  She looks at me, “Oh no, Mr. Smith, go out to dinner, have fun.  I’ll just go to next week’s game.”

That game is in Kansas City, the other side of the state, a 3 hour drive from us.  This game is just beyond our backyard, a 3 minute walk from us.

“Listen, Kerri, I want to thank you for being loyal to us.  You could have bailed, made up any excuse, and you know what, I wouldn’t have blamed you.  But, instead, you kept up your end of the deal.  You made a commitment and stuck to it.  I respect that.  Now, I’m telling you to get out of here, and go cheer with your friends.  Have fun.  Be a 15-year old kid.”

Kerri, politely, asks if I’m sure, and I point to the door with a smile.  She, of course, says “thank you” and bounces out the front door.  She ran to her house up the street in 2 seconds flat and was in her Dad’s car in less time than it took me to get Cooper ready.  We had to get Goldfish, Teddy Grahams and a Capri Sun.  Now, that’s a tailgating spread…

Danielle still went to the bistro, sans her limo driver.  Delaney went to Movie Night at her school with her little 1st grade pals, and guess where Coop and I went?

West won on a last minute Touchdown drive, 34-28!  It was High School Athletics at its best; Kerri and 1400 of her closest friends stormed the field.  Just another November Friday Night here in Suburbia.

Go West!!!

Kindergarten Soccer

0-0  score.  Halftime.  Tournament Quarterfinals.  And, my daughter gets the call to be the Goalie to begin the 2nd Half.

 

And so it begins, my new career as a Daddy to an athlete.  I’ve played in thousands of sporting events in my life.  Never did my palms sweat, eyes twitch, knees rattle as much as they did while my 5-year old was in net for her Kindergarten School soccer team.

 

You have to understand.  Delaney is the youngest girl on the team.  She’s the smallest girl on the team.  She’s not the most aggressive girl on the team.  The team she joined played together last season.  They have a great head coach, a terrific supporting cast of assistant coaches, dynamite parents as fans, a fantastic group of players, thus are really, really good. 

 

cimg8823I wanted Delaney to be a part of her school soccer team, so that she could meet new friends, get some exercise and learn about the sport that I played for over a decade of my own childhood.  And, it just turns out, that she joined the 2026 Gold Medal Award Winning Team USA.  Remember the name Abby Houlihan.  This girl is the next Mia Hamm.  She “strikes” the ball.  She doesn’t just kick it.  She freakin’ rips the thing.  But, I digress.

 

Whistle Blows.  2nd Half is underway, and here comes a breakaway.  Delaney is bobbing up and down in the net in anticipation of the ball coming her way (or she might have to go potty).  Either way, she makes the save, runs to the top of the box, and throws it a good 5-7 yards.  She might not be the next Hope Solo, but she could be the next Jennie Finch (my daughter can play some softball; that’s in her genes). 

 

Before I could congratulate her, the other team is coming at her again.  She’s looking at me for positive reinforcement.  “Delaney, nice save, watch the ball, here they come again!!!!!”  Someone put berry juice in her cleats.  (Sidebar:  Berry Juice is what Care Bears drink to make them bounce high).  The ball comes skyward, and I’ll be darn she catches the thing.  Just like in the backyard when I’m hitting pop-ups to her. 

 

I keep checking my watch.  Halves are 25 minutes in kindergarten soccer.  It’s been exactly 3 minutes.  22 more to go.  There’s no chance my heart can take 22 more minutes of this.  Luckily, the 2026 Team USA (currently known as Delaney’s teammates) start to control the tempo a bit, keeping the ball near the opponent’s goal.  About half way through the 2nd half, the head coach yells “SUB!” and out she goes.  See, in Kindergarten, most coaches will substitute all positions, Goalie included.  Final Tally.  6 shots on goal, 6 saves for the Bouncing Care Bear known as my daughter.  Deep Sigh from this author.

 

The game actually goes to Shoot Outs!!!  Again, this is Kindergarten!!! But hey, it’s a tournament, and there needs to be a winner.  I cannot imagine what Libby’s Dad was going through.  Libby played Goalie for the Shootout.  But, she IS the next Hope Solo, so stops all shots her way, and Team USA wins the game, and, of course, continues on to win the entire Tournament. 

Delaney runs over to me, and leaps into my arms.  “Daddy, can we get ice cream?”  Now, that’s my 5 year old.  “Heck yah, kiddo, you did great!!!”  “Daddy, we won.  Can I play again?”  “You bet honey, I just need to go see a cardiologist tomorrow, and then I’ll be ready to go.”  “Daddy, what’s a Cardinal-ologist?”  “It’s a person that tells me how lucky I am to be a daddy.”  “Daddy, I love you!”  “Me too squirt, I love you too.”

 

Game over for today.  I win.

“Take me out to KinderGarten” – Opening Day

img_1310smallerDear Delaney-

 

Tomorrow, you’re officially a Kindergartner. 

 

I just want to tell you how much I love you.  I’m so proud of you already, and this is just the beginning.  This is your own personal scholastic Opening Day, so I decided to write a song about it for you to sing to your new friends (it keeps my eyes from watering).

 

Take me out to Kindergarten.

Take me out with my 5year old friends.

Buy me some crayons and a pink backpack.

I’ll love it so much that I do want to come back.

 

For it’s root, root for Mrs. Meyer’s Class

If we don’t win, someone messed up the math.

For it’s one, two, three stains on my shirt,

But, that’s what happens when you play at recess in the dirt.

 

Hooray Kindergarten.

 

I love you Mini D.  Remember, your Daddy is always right.  If you can remember that golden rule, you’ll always hit a Grand Slam. 

Mother’s Day: My favorite “June” Holiday

This Daddy Diary is a plea to the 2010 calendar creators.  It’s time to switch Father’s Day and Mother’s day around.

 

So, the other day I was staring at my August calendar.  No Holidays.  Huh.  It’s the only month where there are no Holidays in the ole USA.  I have to be honest.  I started thinking about Holidays only after my St Louis Cardinals traded for Matt “Holliday” a few weeks ago.  It’s easy for me to get off topic…

 

January has New Years and Dr Martin Luther King Day.  February has Valentine’s Day and President’s Day.  March has St Patrick’s Day and sometimes Easter.  April has Opening Day (my favorite) and sometimes Easter.  May has Memorial Day and Mother’s Day.  June has Flag Day and Father’s Day.  Okay, I’ll stop, you get the point, and this is where my plea comes from. 

 

Most countries celebrate Mother’s Day on a specific date for a specific reason.  Example, Thailand celebrates Mother’s Day on the Birthday of the Queen of Thailand.  You know why we celebrate Mother’s Day on the 2nd Sunday in May?  So, that the holiday can sneak up on the husband’s with no warning, and we got hosed.  We end up stressing about brunch, flowers, chocolates, gifts from the kids to the mom’s, presents from us to our mom’s etc.  And, we do it all in the last minute, because no one gave us any warning.  Moms get a nice 6 week planning period.  They sit back and enjoy Mother’s Day, then wake up Monday, and start prepping for Father’s Day.  Not us Dad’s, it’s a sneak attack.  We get warned the 2nd Friday in May at about 6pm with a “Hey honey, what are we doing Sunday for Mother’s Day?”  What?????????????  We respond.  “Well, yes, hubby pie, it is the 2nd Sunday in May.”  Oh, of course, I forgot to set my alarm.  Geesh.  It could be worse.  Romania has Mother’s Day AND Ladies Day.  I knew there was a reason I was glad that my last name wasn’t Ciubar (no offense to anyone with the very popular Romanian surname “Ciubar” by the way.)

 

I ask the calendar creator this.  Who is more organized when it comes to preparing for family functions?  Women or Men?  I admit it.  My wife is muuuuuuch more organized when it comes to Holidays, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Baptisms, Bah Mitzvahs, Weddings, (I’m sweating now), and of course Father’s Days.  Guess which one that I get no help with?  Yep, Mother’s Day.  That one is all on me.  So, Mr. Calendar Creator, how bout throwing me a bone, a nice bare, WISH-bone where I wish that you flip Father’s Day and Mother’s Day around?  Father’s Day is now on the 2nd Sunday in May.  Mother’s Day is now on the 3rd Sunday in June.  That would help us Dad’s out a whole lot.

 

Typical conversation on the 3rd Friday in June, 2010 goes like this:  “Oh grand Hubby of mine, what are we doing Sunday?”  “Well, I’ve been planning for this coming Sunday since last year, my wonderful wife.  It’s a surprise, and you’re going to love it.”

 

(Dad now scrambles to favorite airline website.  Date Departing:  Early AM, 3rd Sunday in June.  Destination:  Bucharest, Romania.  # of Tickets:  1. Date Returning:  My Birthday)

Here Comes the Bride

Dear Daddy Diary-

I attended a wedding this past weekend. A college buddy of mine was the groom. Whew, do I have some stories from college, but this is a daddy diary, and he just got married, so we’ll save those for another day.

The story that I remember from this past weekend is the speech told by the bride’s father. Prior to the rehearsal dinner on Friday night, I had never even met the bride, and definitely not her father. But, see, I’m a daddy now. And, I have a daughter, so for the first time in my life, I actually remember the wedding reception. Whoops, typo. For the first time in my life, I identify myself more with the father of the bride than with the groom, or groomsmen or bartender or man sitting in the corner of the room with his cumberbund wrapped around his forehead. The dad of the only woman in white spoke about childhood memories of his little girl.

cimg3298It got me thinking about my speech for my now 4-year old Delaney when she gets married 25 to 30 years from now. It will take that long for her to accomplish all of MY dreams.

So, here we go.

Date April 6 th , 2034 (Opening Day of the Baseball Season)

Danielle and I would like to thank each of you for celebrating this wonderful day withus. Delaney Smith is our little girl. Even though she is now Delaney Pujols (remember that this is my version of something that will happen a quarter century in the future), we’ll always remember her as our little girl who popped into this world on July 10, 2004.

From the day she arrived, she’s been a scrapper. She sent her mommy into emergency surgery that same night she was born due to her kicking and singing (not screaming) all the way out of the womb. I knew my wife was tough, but wow, that was a night I will never forget.

Delaney has heard this story several times; it is why she decided to go to Harvard Medical School , graduate withhonors and is now widely recognized as the doctor that cured childhood cancer. We are proud parents. What can I say? I love to brag on my little girl. Sure, you know her as Dr Delaney Smith, Nobel Peace Prize Award Winner, but to us, she is just Mini-D, the little brunette that turns heads with her Grammy Award winning voice. Go ahead Mini. Sing us a little something you wrote. (She blushes, but, obliges and sings her 2022 Double Platinum hit, “My Daddy is my hero.”) It all started with that famous first movie, “High School Musical.” Yes, even at the age of 3, she loved Sharpay and Gabrielle.

Well, I could brag more, but … um …huh, I am paying for this. I think I’ll continue just for a few more moments. Mini D seems to make all the right choices. Whether it’s the choice to become a switch hitter at the age of 4 because she knew that would help her see things from all angles or writing that Pulitzer Prize winning novel, “I Was Born a Smith”, she always seems to be in the right place at the right time. Many call that luck. I call that being my daughter.

So, please raise your glasses to Dr Delaney Smith, accomplished singer, author, pediatrician, and United States Senator. I love you honey. I couldn’t be more proud. Oh yeah, and her husband is pretty cool, too.

(Clink, Clink…”Cheers”)

Back to the present now. Cheers to all you daddys and your dreams for your daughters. Time for me to go to bed. I’m sure when I wake up that there will be a 3 foot 3, 36 pound bundle of love snuggled up next to me. Amazing how they always sneak in there, isn’t it? I CAN wait for that wedding day. I love being a daddy right now.

(This post was reprinted as it did not automatically make the transition to the new site)

Play Ball

cimg4169Dear Baseball Scorecard (Today’s Daddy Diary Manual)-

I took my son to his first baseball game over the weekend; the hometown St Louis Cardinals versus the Tampa Bay Rays. I was so excited. Our ace, Adam Wainwright, was pitching, and the Rays are a fun, young team to watch in person.

Then reality hit me in the face like an Albert Pujols line drive. I’m taking my 1-year old to the game. This isn’t like going to the ballpark with my brother or a buddy. Oh, did I mention Cooper is 23 months old, so almost 2? That’s old enough. It’s time for that father-son ritual of our first Major League Baseball game together. I’ve dreamt about this day since he was born.

We arrive at our seats just a few minutes before first pitch. I had the normal goodies that we all bring to a major league game: popcorn, peanuts, gold fish, teddy grahams, 3 diapers, wet wipes, a changing pad, the sippy cup, and of course, Cooper, who was asleep on my shoulder. I love it when my little boy falls asleep on me. It’s wonderful in so many ways. He’s peaceful. His tiny hands grip my shirt. And, well, he allows me to actually watch the game. That part is fun too.

Okay, it’s a sunny 73 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, my team is playing well, I have my little hall of famer with me (who is asleep), so let’s get it on. Play Ball.

First inning: A Cardinal player makes a nice, running, one-handed catch in the outfield. And, the alarm clocks sounds. 44-thousand people decide that it’s time for Cooper to awake. I think every single one of them started chanting “Cooper, wake up…stomp, stomp, stomp…Cooper, wake up” or maybe they were cheering for the nice play. Either way, the blond headed boy opens his eyes, looks around, realizes where we are, and shouts out “Baseball Game.” My boy recognizes where we are right away. My eyes begin to water.

Or maybe, I tear up, because he turned his head so fast, it caught the bridge of my nose which now is throbbing to that same beat of the crowd, stomp…stomp…stomp. See, Cooper doesn’t have a real seat. He’s only 1, so I decided he could sit on my lap for a quick, 4 hour event. It saves me the 30 dollars it would have cost for his ticket. I can still feel the bruise on my thigh, where he bobbed up and down from noon to four pm . It’s a good hurt though.

Second inning begins with Cooper doing the “down dance.” All of us parents know what this means. Toddler doesn’t want to sit, so wiggles more than a Tim Wakefield Knuckleball (fyi: that was a baseball metaphor). We have one big problem. Our seats are in the upper deck. We are so far away from the action that my nose is now bleeding for a reason other than Cooper head butting me in the face. Did I mention the game was sold out? People are everywhere. There is no dance floor for the “down dance.” So, it’s time for some POPCORN.

Orville Redenbacher is a great babysitter. He takes us into Inning Number Four.

“Daddy, I poopied” says the popcorn, ahem, I mean little boy. “Oh crap” says the third baseman as he drops a pop up, ahem, I mean daddy. Here we go. This is what I’ve trained for. I can do this. We make our way to the men’s room. Nope, not that one. There is no changing station. There we go. Found a restroom with that baby icon that says “enter if you dare, daddy may be changing naked child with aroma floating in the air.” Prior to today, the only change that I’d seen at a baseball game was a pitching change. This change was a little tougher on the senses. We entered the restroom in the “Bottom” of the Fourth. We exit the restroom with a clean “Bottom” of Cooper. Task accomplished.

On the way back to our seats, Cooper asks if he can go to a playground. Huh, we’re at a baseball game. A nice usher hears Cooper (who does speak amazingly clear for a 1-year old) and mentions to me there is a playground on the main level. I’m here for the little guy, right? Okay, I give in.

We head to the escalator, and little bambino loves jumping on and off those. We do that for an inning. Cardinals score 4 times in the inning, but hey, who wants to see that? We’re riding escalators. This is much cooler.

Sixth Inning: We finally make our way to the playground. There is a line. Yes, a line at the playground. See, many, many other parents had this same idea to get through the 9-inning game. I felt like I was at a local pub on my college campus. It was one in, one out. We waited the 15 minutes to get in. I take Cooper’s shoes off, and he goes running to the first baseball toy.

“Excuse me sir” says an usher. Your son needs socks. I ask him to clarify. “Your son needs that cotton type of clothing that fits over his feet.” Yah, I know what socks are, but seriously, he needs socks right now. It’s 70 something degrees, so he’s wearing crocks, not socks. “There’s a Cardinal team store around the corner where you can buy some socks.” Humph, okay, we head to the team store and buy ourselves a ten dollar pair of socks. Ten bucks for socks. Let me repeat this. Ten bucks for a pair of socks that won’t fit him until he’s ready for the big leagues. Well, at least they’ll last.

As time passes, the crowd cheers over and over and over again. Wow, I wonder to myself. I wonder what is going on the field that can be more exciting than is happening on this field of toddlers. That game cannot be more intriguing than what I’m watching.

Eighth Inning: I beg Cooper to let us go back to our seats to watch the last two innings. He, mercifully, agrees. He eats Gold Fish, Teddy Grahams, and some peanuts.

That takes us to the Ninth Inning. Tie game after nine. For those of you who don’t know, baseball continues to play until there’s a winner. So, the game heads into extra innings, but Cooper is done. It’s nap time, and I left the blanket in the car. “Daddy, go home, see Mommy and take a nap” says my little man as his eyes fall faster than a good, hard sinker (baseball metaphor).

I give up. We leave. Cardinals, of course, win in the 10 th inning in dramatic fashion, a home run to end the game. I can hear the crowd cheering as we walk to our car. Cooper smiles, lays his head down on my shoulder, and says “night, night Daddy. Thank you.” Yep, tears in my eyes again. That first game with my son is exactly the way that I dreamt it.

(This post was reprinted as it did not automatically make the transition to the new site)

Happily Ever After

Dear Nursery Rhyme Book-

Once upon a time, my family was eating a quiet dinner when a creepy monster appeared in our kitchen. Yes, a creepy monster entered our home through the back door, took my daughter’s vegetables off her plate, put them in my glass of water, scared my 1-year old into dumping his pasta on the floor, and then magically disappeared. It’s true. My 3-year old daughter said so.

Let me explain further. The four of us sit down to eat at 6pm like we do every night. My wife’s cell phone rings. She goes to answer it, and of course at that point, our son and daughter decide that’s the perfect time to sing Happy Birthday at the top of their lungs to no one in particular. So, my wife walks into the other room to take the call. I, mistakenly, leave the room as well to tend to a “work” matter. All of you parents know what’s coming next. Two children under the age of 4 are at a full dinner table by themselves. Let the games begin.

My 3-year old daughter likes vegetables as much as I like house cleaning on a fall Saturday. FYI, I love college football; I don’t love cleaning. So, she thinks “Hmmm, vegetables on my plate, parents out of the room, time for the vegetables to disappear.” Smart thought really. Instead of ushering the veggies to the trash can (would have been a wise move); she dumps them into my glass of water.

My 22-month old son has reached the stage where he dislikes any food not ending in an “-ocolate.” He finishes his hymn, looks around, no mommy, no daddy, time to make the spaghetti and red sauce vanish. I know, I know, we’re idiots for leaving a 2ish year old with red sauce by himself. He’s buckled into a booster seat, so there’s two places for this pasta to go. Option one, in his tummy. Not an option. Option two, on the floor. Great option.

Two minutes and 36 seconds later, my wife and I meet back in the kitchen. At my spot, I have carrots and peas floating in my drinking glass. It’s a poor man’s V-8 or I guess a V-2. And, on the other side of the table is nothing. No plate, no pasta, no peas, no carrots, no RED SAUCE. You know why it’s not on the table, because it’s on the floor. I glare at the oldest one. And, now let’s get back to our nursery rhyme.

“Daddy, look in your water glass. The creepy monster put all the carrots and peas in your drink. It was incredible.” says the innocent princess.

“Really” says the King. “Where did he come from?”

“Right there,” explains the small, young girl as she points to the sliding glass door. “He opened the door, said ‘Hi Delaney. Hi Cooper.’ And, started making a mess”

“The creepy monster could talk?” asks the man with the crown (dunce cap) on his head.

“It was amazing Daddy. And, he knew our names.” says the petite one with the wild (and incredibly descriptive) imagination.

The young prince nods in agreement. Then, he chimes in “Mazin’ Daddy. Cweepy Monsta frowed me pasta on da floors.”

“So, let me guess this straight you two. Mommy and Daddy had to leave the room for 2 minutes. In that time, a creepy monster entered the kitchen thru the back door, took all of Delaney’s veggies, and tossed them into my water. Then, the creepy monster, who knew your names, went over to Cooper’s plate, and just threw it on the ground for no reason. And finally, this creepy monster, decided it was time to leave, just before mommy and daddy came back to the table. And, he did all of this in just two minutes?” asks the surprised King.

“Yes, Daddy, that’s right. It’s a true story.” says the incredibly cute 3 year old princess. The young prince with the big blue eyes stares directly at the King, and says “Yep. Dee End.”

And, the family of four lived happily ever after.

Dee End.

(This post is reprinted as it did not automatically make the transition from our old site.)