As the car pulled in, I could see that her light was on. My small girl has this glorious window seat on the second floor of the house that looks out to the world. When we built the house, I could imagine her curled up there and reading, peeking out from behind curtains for friends to arrive or a date to come. But tonight, it was just after 10pm, so I was picturing her snuggled in bed, a book having slipped from her fingers as she fell asleep.
But as I walked in the house, that sweet little Punky was waiting on the stairs, “I waited up for you, Mommy.” It was so late….her bedtime on a school night is 8:30, so she was almost 2 hours late. I wanted to be horrified. (she can be a demon when she doesn’t get the sleep she needs!) But, I have to confess I was giddy.
I am in love with that little girl. And the fact that she was so excited to see me, she kept her little eyes open until she heard the car? Well, it means the world to me. And in a time when I struggle with the internal ‘guilt’ of traveling and being away – even for a job I adore – this reminds me I’m doing something right. I may travel, but we are connected. She knows she is loved. And she loves me. She trusts me enough to know I won’t be mad at her for breaking the bedtime rules.
Getting a little sweet time with her is worth it. We sat on the steps. We snuggled. She whispered to me all about her day. She asked about mine and finished with, “Mommy, I know you always do a good job.” And I melted into a big pool of weepy motherhood. She asked me to tuck her in, “I want to hold your hand”, and walked me up the stairs.
It doesn’t seem like much, this breaking of the rules, but in my world, it is special. She is special. I know there will be a day when my comings and goings will pass by unnoticed. She’ll sleep through my arrival, forget to ask how my day went and hesitate when I ask about hers.
Until then, I’m a rule breaker. And I believe that is a good thing.
Are your kids in bed by 7pm? Excellent.
Mother’s Day is supposed to be this glorious celebration of the women who love us, guide us and nurture us in the most beautiful ways. It is a day to say, ‘I love you’, ‘I’m thinking about you’ and ‘You matter to me’. Naturally, like many days of this kind, Mother’s Day has become very commercialized and quite expensive. Your mom isn’t looking for you to spend a fortune on her.
I have moved more than 20 times in my life. I was not one of those kids who lived in the same home most of their life. I didn’t even live in the same city or go to the same school. But as I’ve gotten older, things have slowed down a bit. We have spent the past 6 years in one home. While I naturally think the stability is good for my small people, I get a little antsy. I yearn to shake things up a bit. I seek change. It makes me happy.
The question felt a bit out of left field. But as the mother of a child, of a little girl, I suppose I shouldn’t ever really be surprised, right?
For food staples, I walked to the pantry and pulled out two boxes of food: one candy and Kellogg’s Raisin Bran. I wanted to share an option that had ingredients we recognized and could pronounce: Raisin Bran lists in order: Whole grain wheat, raisins, wheat bran, sugar, brown sugar syrup, 2% or less of salt and malt flavor. We aren’t purists, so it wasn’t difficult to find an option that included unhealthy ingredients. It was a box of candy and the ingredient list included partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil, sodium bicarbonate, resinous glaze and artificial flavor (among other options).
My small girl has a cough. Again.
I have two small people. I think you know this, yes?
