From Diapers to Tears of Sadness: Trading One Parenting Challenge For The Next

October 18, 2012 by 2 Comments

The first thing I was DYING to get past was diapers. (Potty Training?  I even had a built-in coach!) I thought my world would change when my small people were out of diapers.  And then it was bottles and sippy cups.  I was 100% sure that everything would be different if I simply didn’t find sippy cups of milk in my family room, in the car and behind my bed.

Then came my dreams of a perfect world that existed just beyond the uninterrupted night’s sleep.

Or the moment when I no longer needed a stroller.

Or the beautiful time when my small people could TELL me what they needed.

Or when they would STOP telling me everything they needed.

And then when they would FINALLY be in school all day.

Now they are.

And each day, each week, presents me with yet another parenting challenge. Only now, they are far more complicated – they are feelings and heart, emotion and tender-eyes looking to me for guidance and direction.  They are still young enough that they would like me to ‘make it all better’, but old enough to have their own opinions and needs.

It is much like walking a tightrope. And this week, the tears started as soon as my small girl walked in from school…. it seems, even at the tender age of 8, she would rather skip a family vacation than risk missing out on school activities with her friends.

And I actually remember the sadness she feels…. this is my latest parenting dilemma.

How do you help your kids as they approach and begin to go through each stage? Is there anything you say to take the sting away? I know she is sad about missing her friends, but I also know family time is important too.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2714881 Adrianna Domingos-Lupher

    That is a tough one! We had a similar experience when we thought we were surprising our child with a day at Disney. She was devastated we were pulling her out of school and we were crushed she’d rather be there, even though we hid it. We explained our intentions, told her we were sorry she’d be missing out on school that day, but reassured her that she’d be able to pick up right where she left off. We often find ourselves explaining that there are going to be times where we are going to do things as a family and that spending time with us as a family is very important, too. Sometimes, her friends are going to have to spend time with their family and that’s a wonderful thing she has to respect at times. I don’t think there is an easy answer to this.

  • Danielle Smith

    Adrianna – thank you so much for this! I so appreciate the understanding. It is such an interesting transition to move from the ONE they want to spend the most time with, to being 2nd place. I’m actually ok with it (in theory) but definitely hate the idea of disappointing them so deeply – ESPECIALLY when I’m thinking we are doing something fun (much like your Disney trip). But you are so correct – they do need to understand family time is a priority :)