Mommy is another word for Guilt

April 14, 2010 By 12 Comments

Let’s be honest.

kissesI’m a mom and I feel guilty all the time.  I think it is just part of the territory.  But damn, it pulls at my chest like webbed fingers grasping for a final morsel of chocolate cake.

When the small people were itty bitty – the guilt was minor, but seemingly all-consuming:

“Am I doing this right?”

“What?  She isn’t supposed to have peanut butter until she is 12?”

“He is supposed to get 26 hours of sleep a day?”

“Am I allowed to take a nap while she rests?  What if she needs me and I don’t hear her?”

The nagging refrain that echoed through my soul taunted me: “are you sure you can be good at this Mommy-thing?”

I think I can.  I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Now, I feel guilty about a million new things and the corresponding mom-hats I wear:

  • How did I not know it was dress-down day at school? (the disorganized mom)
  • How come no one told me I was allowed to join her for school lunch? (the uninformed mom)
  • I want to work out, but they want to play outside? (the selfish mom)
  • Did I really just skip a page in the bedtime story because I am JUST.TOO.TIRED? (the selfish and tired mom)
  • I have work to do, they want to paint.  And painting requires my full attention. (the non-get-down-on-your-knees-and-play mom)
  • Yes, I did, in fact, just pull your shorts out of the dirty laundry – you can wear them again. (the lazy mom)
  • I am wishing for you to just.go.away because I can’t stand the fighting anymore. (the impatient mom)
  • No, for the 17th time, you may not skip dinner and eat dessert. (the un-fun mom)
  • I know it was ‘your turn’, but….. (the unfair mom)

And that is just today.

What about you?  What Mommy-induced-guilt-hat are you wearing?

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  • http://www.agoodjoe.blogspot.com Julie

    Oh my goodness, I can so relate to every word of this post. I guess my mommy-induced-guilt hat would just be a giant cone shape that reads Dunce! Trying to be everything to everyone in my house just makes us all crazy. For whatever it’s worth, you are not alone!

  • http://www.murraycrew.blogspot.com QuatroMama

    Oh girl….
    where do I begin.

  • http://thesnyder5.com Molly

    I would be feeling the, “I can’t believe today was snack day and I didn’t know it until late yesterday so I grabbed whatever was in the pantry and sent it as snack for the class” guilt. Especially after my son told me at breakfast that yesterday they had fresh bananas for the whole class and the day before it was apples.

  • http://www.mompreneurbusinesscoach.com Christine Walker

    Oh my goodness, this is so good, and it’s great to know I am not alone. Love the part about picking the clothes out of the dirty laundry, been there!

  • Lee

    I soooooo understand this one.
    “yes, you are going to bed a little earlier tonight” (the I’m just too tired mom)
    “I know all of your friends have wii, but we are not getting it today” (the evil mom)
    “yes I am going out to dinner with friends tonight and a babysitter is coming because daddy is out of town” (the I need to talk to at least one adult today mom)
    “no, I can’t stay today for the all school morning meeting like some of the other moms because I have a conference call/need to clean the house/ want to play tennis” (the trying to do too much/selfish/house is driving me crazy mom depending on the week)
    Glad I am not alone!

  • Lauralee Hensley

    LOL.
    The fighting one reminds me of my mom. She finally just got to the point she would say “Take It Outside,” or “Take it outside right now and I mean now!”
    She didn’t want to listen to it and she knew we’d keep on until we got it out of our system, or we would stop for a few minutes after being warned, then start it up again. She finally just wised up and let us get the picking on each other out of our systems by making us take it outside.
    It usually finished real fast when we went outside. I wonder, was that because we didn’t have MOM as the audience to our picking and fighting and it just wasn’t as much fun as irritating her?

  • http://www.lilkidthings.com Andrea

    I took off my mom guilt hat as of yesterday! So far, I haven’t put it back on :-) Happy Friday!

    http://lilkidthings.blogspot.com/2010/04/lets-lay-off-mom-guilt-shall-we.html

  • http://www.minglemediatv.com Stephanie @MingleMediaTV

    Okay how about this: We’re at the Sesame Street Stage Show (son is 4) and intermission comes and HE Says – “okay that was good let’s go home I want to play with my LEGOs”. What’s a mother to do? I say OK honey, and we pack up – and the other parents around us that heard me… gave me such looks OMG. Can you believe I am still feeling guilty about that years later? But I won’t confess!

    Hey – when I could no longer stuff t-shirts from all the cities I visited while I was a blue suit mom bringing home presents because I was away, I realized that we have to make the most of what we can, when we can. We should not feel guilty, we should accept and just look for other ways to make that event disappear from view. (So I switched to post cards and books – LOL).

    You’re a fab mom and great friend. Loved this post!!
    XOX

  • Danielle

    Steph – thank you so very much for that! I am grateful to have friends like you.

  • http://www.afterhood.com Sarah

    Even when your children are grown, you wear a ‘Guilt’ button – it’s easy to push. My college aged ‘boy’ was home recently, and he got to mourning (as they do) all the foods that I ‘never make for him anymore’….
    So I guess guilt = love +attachment. Okay, I’ll take it.
    Good post.

  • http://www.cassieboorn.com Cassie Boorn

    I am SO SO SO happy I am not the only one!

  • http://www.amyburger.com Amy

    I say or do at least one of these things every day. Nice to know I’m not alone :)